w00ts!

So the development of Halo 3 wasnt a big shocker, but seeing it in action was heart-warming and drool-inducing. Im absolutely pumped by the trailer, and Im barely able to hear the sound at the moment. Im in the airport in Phoenix (using their free wi-fi, I might add, thank you Phoenix) so Im being as considerate as I can as Im surrounded by retirees being pushed around in wheel chairs and women that look like their skin is made from sun-worn leather. Regardless of my surroundings, the video is sweet. Tomorrow at E3, Im making a mad rush to the Microsoft booth to see the trailer in all of its hyped up glory. Unlike other developers, Bungie normally delivers on the hype.

Ill report more over the next few days (pics and vids), so dont hesitate to revisit my blog.

AG

Posted by Agonizing_Gas @ 5:58 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

Quick blurb before bed

I was sent an email at work the other day saying that I get to try out the Wii at E3 during private session from 4:00-6:30 PM (PST) on Thursday. Thats pretty sweet. I know a lot of people arent excited about the new controller (or the Wii-mote), but Im definately eager to see how it will work with game play. If done correctly, other future systems my copy what Nintendo does with their new system for this next generation. I think that it has some real potential. I just hope that the movement of the controller isnt used as a gimmick. The email said that there would be different games playable, so Im excited to see how the different games use the technology. Im also excited that I wont have to wait in line for my turn to play. Now the PS3 on the other hand... I hope its playable. Tired of seeing the "actual gameplay" CGI. Lets see some folks with controllers in their hands.

Ill try to post my remaining pre-E3 ramblings tomorrow night, as I leave for L.A. on Tuesday.

Posted by Agonizing_Gas @ 2:00 am EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

Dear Aggy

With my previous post, I discussed the failure of my marriage. This one will outline what Im taking away from the relationship. Whamolla stated his reservations regarding his upcoming (impending just sounded like doom, so I chose another word) wedding in a comment responding to my post. And because of my recent failure, I find myself in the perfect place to start giving marital advice. My advice to you, Wham, and to myself :

1. Communication is key. This is the no-brainer of the lessons learned, but one that cant be stressed enough. All other lessons tie into this one. I found out at the end of my marriage that my wife was (is) afraid to talk to me in regards to criticism, anger or frustration for fear of hurting my feelings. Without knowing that I was pissing her off or hurting her feelings, I couldnt do anything to help solve the problem. Instead of dealing with our issues, we instead built up resentment and anger. A small, easily resolved issue becomes the very death of your relationship. Also remember to watch what you say and when you say it. Hurtful words can be apologized for countless times, but they echo eternal. Dont ever let your mouth go faster than your brain.

2. Be friends. When my wife and I lived together in a place where all we had was the other, we didnt do anything alone. We had more fun than Id had in most of my years up until Id met her. We did everything together. Best of friends. When her social life expanded, she had more options. I wasnt really a big fan of her friends (not that I didnt like them, I just didnt have a whole lot in common with them), so she went out on her own more and more. As I stated in my previous post, we didnt prioritize one another.  We eventually did less and less together. The only nights we ended up hanging out were to watch a favorite show on TV or to eat dinner. Not a great foundation for a relationship.

3. Have similar goals. Im not a big drinker (though I can tie one on from time to time), and Im an avid non-smoker, so bars arent really for me.  Ive lived through the party phase of my life, and Im ready to settle down, be kind of a homebody. Not a hermit or recluse, but just comfortable being at home. On the other hand, my wife is in the prime of her party life. That would be fine if I was at the same point in my life, but Im not. Its like going to a party and being the only sober guy there.  A couple times per week. Not the best time. To me, I was a babysitter. To her, I was a party pooper. Smoking is a big enough issue for me to draw the line. I did. Smoking and drinks won. Btw, this lesson goes double for folks with kids.

4. Compromise. People are different in many, many ways. Having been single most of my adult life, I have my own routine and habits. My wife has hers. The way that we dealt with our differences was similar to our friendship. We worked around each other instead of with one another. We didnt make our needs and expectations clear, so it was just another itch that needed to be scratched. Both of the folks involved need to give and take, and the amount that you each conceed should be equal.

5. Remember that relationships are work. Like anything else, its going to take time and effort. The more you put into it, the more youll get out of it.

6. Be honest. I dont know how this is #6 instead of number one or two, but at least I remembered to put it in. Too lazy to cut and paste it higher up in the list... Be honest with each other and yourselves.

7. Remeber why you got married. At some point, the marriage seemed like a great idea. Why? What made you happy? How do you keep it? Know why you love your spouse and always value what you have.

Thats more than enough wisdom for one night. Take it with a grain of salt, but it all would have helped me if I kept those things in mind over the past two years or if someone would have talked to me about them when we first set out to share our lives.

Lastly, Id like to address DeepNNNs comment about WoW. It has taken over my gaming life for sure. The problems with my marriage started shortly after we moved into a house close to my wifes family and friends, which was only a month or two in. I agree that MMOs can be unhealthy for good relationships.  When I started playing last October, our relationship was already a fair distance from being good. WoW and the friends I see online regularly have helped me keep plugging along at a stressful and sad period of my life. Much like the community here on the site and friends on XBL, WoW is good in moderation.

Posted by Agonizing_Gas @ 11:35 pm EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments

Can you double post in your blog?

Just an FYI to anyone that might give a rats ass... Im going to get off my ass and get back into being more active on the site when my personal life gets in order here over the next month or two. By that I mean that I plan to contribute content, utilize my mad mod skillz, etc. I promised Codemonkey a story for the 2o2p zine and I completely dropped the ball. My apologies good sir. Id say by June I should be good to go.  Sorry for the absence.  The site still rocks as it did one year ago when Mike James directed my fat ass this way.

Posted by Agonizing_Gas @ 3:08 am EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

Holy Crap! Another long post. Im called Gas for a reason...

Im headed to E3 next week for what will likely be my 1st and last time. Im stoked to be headed to L.A. to check out the Wii, the PS3 (if they have anything playable on it) and snoop around Microsofts booth in hopes of a new video or demo from Bungie. Im excited as Ill get to see some folks from the site as well as a friend of mine from high school. Itll be my first real vacation in a few years, and Ill spend the majority of it drooling over new games and gadgets. Im a geek. Such a geek. Isll be taking both my digital camera and my digital camcorder. Hope to be able to share what I see. Can you say booth babe? ;)

Itll also be good to get out of town since things at the Ponderosa arent exactly peachy. A little back story: I met my wife through an online dating site (which was wierd to me, but I hear it is becoming more and more common) and we hit it off immediately. We imd all the time, then started calling one another. After a few months, we met in person. Chemistry was there. We hung out for a week and had a blast. A month later, she came out to visit again and we drove across several states on a road trip to my home town. The following month I flew out to met her family and help her move. Pretty quick, but it was right for both of us and we knew it.

For the next year we lived in a crappy 900 square foot apartment paying way too much in rent. But we were both incredibly happy. Fairy tale come true. A year after she moved out to be with me, we were married. Best day of my life, quite easily. Family, friends, and a good woman. A promise of happiness and love awaited us. A couple days later (or was it the next day? I cant recall anymore but it was literally a day or two after getting married) we moved back to her home town so that we could afford to buy a house and settle down. A couple months later, we moved into our house. And we were set. (okay, so its a little more than just a little back story)

But what we ended up being set for was failure. I was 1800+ miles away from friends and family. I had the slow awakening to the fact that Ill never get to do all the things that I thought I would. I had wanted to move back home (which is Montana), and my wife had no interest or intention of relocating. I understood why. She had everything in her life that she missed while she was away. To her, everything was complete. I wont get into details but to say that we grew apart over the next twenty-three months. She found her old social life and friends, I found work, WoW and XBL. It was a slow, comfortable slide into being roommates. We both knew that things werent going the right direction, but neither of us tried to stop it either. A couple days after my 30th birthday she tells me that she wants to separate. Knowing full well that our communication and the lack of making one another a priority were the demise of our relationship, I suggested that moving out would only help us avoid the issues instead of fixing them. I urged for counseling, moving out of state or whatever it took to get what we had back.

No marriage counseling. No relationship books. No U-haul. Shes just done. Its way after the train has derailed, and theres nothing to do but pick up the pieces and move on. So in the next month or so Ill be relocating back home. Ill be looking for a place to live and a job. Soon to be single again.

The part that bothers me the most is my failure as a husband. I have parents that got divorced and I swore that Id never get a divorce. I was going to get married once. I didnt want to follow in their footsteps. Its sad that we lost the happiness we once shared. Its sad that we let things go without trying to fix them. But in the end its probably for the best. How do you go back to Eden? Both parties have to want to get back there to make it work. I can only hope that we both find happiness later in life. Were also lucky that we dont have children to explain our mess to.

Im looking forward to being back home. Looking forward to being around friends and family again. Looking forward to having everything that my wife has had for the past two years. Mostly, Im looking forward to not having to worry anymore.

My granny, btw, is doing as well as can be expected. Guess she wasnt quite ready to meet her maker or see her husband again. You go Granny.

Posted by Agonizing_Gas @ 2:51 am EDT | Permalink | 6 Comments