AutumnRocks's Blog - 2old2play

The times you remember

Today is a significant day in my life. It is a day that, years ago, changed my life forever. Today my first born son came into the world. I remember myself as being young, untouchable, and nieve. I was absolutely content managing a record store and had no intention of looking onwards in my life. As a couple, IACO and I were very much living "in the now". When I first realized that I was going to not only create a little being inside my body, but also squeeze one out from the area I had only associated with pleasure at this point, I was devistated. More than devistated: terrified. I can't even put words to the emotional termoil my thoughts propelled me through. I can imagine that some here experienced the same shock and fears that I did, and hopefully can relate.

From the moment of realization that a foreign body had invaded my very personal space, I had to leave my absolute unabsoluteness behind and start thinking about more than patchouli, skateboard decks, and records. Man, that was going to be tough. I loved my free-spirited lifestyle and the last thing I wanted to do was give it up. But, being I had a new variable added to my equation, I had to calculate my answer and damn if I only had nine months to do it.

I have a belief that formed during the gestation period. Nature intended the whole process to be long, drawn out, and uncomfortable. For me the months of pregnancy gave me time to cope and prepare myself for the creature growing underneath my skin. And that is the way I thought of it throughout the entire thing. The creature, the growth, the thing inside me. I know that is terrible to admit, but that is how it was and I am not going to sugar coat the feelings I had at the time. The lack of comfort involved lead me to a state of urgancy about giving birth. It was going to suck--I was sure--to push it out, but it couldn't be worse than the discomfort I had at that moment? Right? So, with that mentality, even with the lack of glamour, it had pushed me to a point of wanting to have the buggar.

When the day finally came I felt the strangest of feelings. I was...excited!? Wait a minute. The girl who was so disgruntled about the entire thing was showing the signs of joy? If not joy, at least a derivative of it? What happened when the water broke? Did all of that anger and discontent flow out with the warning fluids? It must have. The labor was not intense, not as much as I'd imagined it would be. But, as I was told by the nurses attending me, I was a "lucky one".

Everything changed the moment the pressure was released and my son was born. It still amazes me today how someone can instantly fall in love. And I say that with every truth in my body. The moment I saw that little boy I knew what I had done was right. It was going to be okay.

He changed my life that day and every day. I watch him grow into the little man he is becoming and laugh at myself for being so stupid. To think he would hinder me in any way. He has proven not only that he belongs in this world, but that he enriches my life in every moment. And I am still that free-spirited girl I feared losing, only now I get to share that spirit with my son.

[3 Comments]

Something to think about

This has been circulated in a couple of different forms.

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight ...

* If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track, you're a maverick.

*Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive and first in line behind a man in his eighth decade.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a true Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.
* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

O.K. -- much clearer now.

[10 Comments]

Catch up

So, I've been gone for a bit. Sorry about that. Not that I think you guys have been crying yourself to sleep at night or anything because of the lack of Autumn Bloggage, but hey, you never know.

Let's just discuss why Autumn is now a slacker.

1. Busy

2. Very busy

3. School started back up again

4. Son started Kindergarten

5. Damn obligations

Now let's discuss the topic of "other" including how I've been, etc., etc.

1. I have been enjoying my classes so far.

2. I have been thinking about sewing my own straight jacket for the rough days.

3. Yesterday I stubbed my toe and the whole friggin nail came off. It was awful. Absolutely awful.

4. I feel bad that I have not been on the site for so long, or in the forum, or playing games. Such is life, though, I suppose.

Okay, I think that is a good enough update.

I will leave you with this:

Enjoy.

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

A Time to Talk

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don’t stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven’t hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

[10 Comments]

Firsts

Everyone has their firsts. Normally they are either really bad or really good (hence, always remembered). Well, so far this year I have had a few "firsts". I am not going to go into them all, but here are a couple.

It is my first internship. It has been interesting. But, mostly, I have dubbed it a "job". I have come to realize that I don't like this whole "work" thing. Going into an office for eight hours and trying to keep yourself entertained...no wonder I have met career waitresses, at least it is a fun thing to do! Not ragging on anyone's job, just saying the whole sit in an office is probably not going to be my cup of tea.

Then there is the LAN party. No, not the Chicago LAN, the Pittsburg LAN. 2Old2Pwn has held an annual LAN for three? years now. This will be my first time attending that. My hubbs, IACO, has gone every year and has always come home with a hangover and incredible stories (incredible, as in, 'Wow, they DID that?' kind of stuff) So, this will be a treat. I hope that this "first" counteracts the prior "first" with happiness and joy. That would be good.

Less than a week to find out! Yay!

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Creative Boredom

So. I got bored and decided to paint the Master Chief.

Here he is.

He's certainly not perfect, I am no professional artist, but I thought it would make a cool prize for our up-and-coming clan LAN. And if KidMach would take that wife beater off and climb down from his high horse, maybe I could confirm that!

Just kidding, Kid. You know I love you and your mustard stained shirt.

[6 Comments]

Blogged Down

Okay, people, seriously. What is up with the lack of bloggage? Huh? Got better things to do, do ya? Think that the phenomenal weather means you can go outside instead of staying in and typing away at some entertainment for those like myself? Come on! I know I have been slacking, but that doesn't mean I don't want to read some stuff from you all!

And, YES, I am talking to you!

-Kwazy: humorous and informative (mostly)

-Jquack: certain reading stimuli for me

-Jasontroy: come on, do pirates quit? No. They keep kicking ass and taking booty

-Hilskie: I need some fun stuff to read about poltergeist shelves on the attack

-Dixie: I need a recipe for a beet casserole

-IACO: I am totally stomping you on the counts

-Cuda: how are you fairing with walking

-Caesar: you're fine. Keep up the good work

Sheesh.

[5 Comments]

Goodbye Robert Mondavi

Your Cabernet Sauvignon brought to the world a sense of what determination can do. Thank you for bringing the potential of Napa Valley to our paletts .

I bid you farewell and good fortune in lives to come again.

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So, what has Autumn been doing lately...

with school out and all? Has she been relaxing, enjoying her days of non-thinking, or taking naps?

No. No I haven't. It is actually really sad. I finally get some moments of freedom from my disciplined schedule at school and what do I do? I work. I work a lot. Terrible. Not actually at my job, but at home. I keep finding stuff to do...laundry, mopping, scrubbing, mowing, you name it I have crammed it in. I have no idea WHY I feel like I can't just give myself a friggin break...Maybe I will soon.

Actually, I wish I could play some games, but my Box RedRinged a while ago. I got it back and two/three days later IACO's RRinged. So, of course, mine was confiscated while his is out galavanting the US. Suck, I know. Things have just been cramping my style like that lately.

BUT, tomorrow is Mother's Day (whoopie) and work will be killer busy! That is always good. That and with the recent discovery of my younger sister's pregnancy I have her first Mother's Day gift all ready to go! I think its cool.

OH! And I just remembered I have alloted some "fun" time in for myself this coming week! On Monday I am going GOLFING! I have not really ever been golfing so I don't know how great this will be, but I am going to find out. There is something about hitting a ball, drinking at every tee, all while trying to manage a golf cart that is just appealing to me! If anyone has any pointers for a non-golfer please let me hear them!

Thanks!

[6 Comments]

Well, I did it

Today I did my civic duty. I am very proud to say I voted. I actually always vote, but this campaign is different. I can't even guess how long it has been since Indiana even remotely mattered in a primary, but today we will.

I know I may catch shit for this, but I really don't care.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghSJsEVf0pU

[6 Comments]

I HAVE SURVIVED!!!!

I am done!! Friggin A that is so relieving!! The past month has been hell for me, but now it is all over! Took my last final this morning! Now I get to relax and enjoy my time. (For a little while at least!)

w00t!!!

[4 Comments]

Holy Moly I'm Getting There!

I successfully did my presentation and think that I did relatively well. I am going to try to find some time to take photos foryou all but I haven't run into any at the moment. I just finished a paper that was due and turned it in. I have officially taken my last quiz for the semester and read my last book too! Now it is down to just writing up the 15-20 page research paper and three other final exams that will be happening next week.

I am starting to feel accomplished, which may or may not be a good thing, but I still have a lot to do. I keep telling myself it will be over soon and now that I have a week left it is starting to feel true! SWEET!

[6 Comments]

Getting there....

So, I have officially thrown myself into a hole and have researched, typed, printed, cut-out, pasted, taped, stapled, glued, colored, drawn, and painted ALL weekend to finish this project of mine due tomorrow! I can now say that I am ALMOST DONE!!!!! (Wiping the sweat off of my brow.) I have put a lot of effort into this darn thing and am finally getting to the point where I am liking it. I hope all this work pays off....I guess we shall find out tomorrow!

Okay, just wanted to let those concerned that I AM still alive and will be returning to the world in about a week and a half. (Maybe with a few short update entries here and there.)

Smile! The semester is almost over, that is reason enough for me to!

[4 Comments]

After a lovely game of chess...

which was so very refreshing, thank you Mr J., I have had the start to a bad week. I just know this is going to suck. I have LOTS of stuff to do...including a GINORMOUS presentation for monday. But, I have figured out how I will present it, that is always good, now I just have to prepare it all (not good) and, of course, I always have to go that extra mile and make it harder than it has to be...but it will be worth it. My topic is the feminist art movement, so my plan is to do everything within the arts genre, instead of boring ol' power point. I will have to post pictures of the awesomeness when I am done with it.

Ok. That's really all I had to say. Welcome to FINALS TIME! Let the stress begin!

[3 Comments]

A little something different...

Down the deep red hallway there are sconces dimly lighting the surrounding area of their bases. The light shed gives just enough to encase the stretch of hall with soft basking shadows and clouded images of doors. That is surly where I am going, into one of those doors, behind the divine figure in front of me. Her waste is so small, legs tight, and hands look softer than any feather I have held in my lifetime. With streamline brunette strands pulled behind her ears the flow of hair just wisps across her swaying hips as she walks. So delicate this young woman is. As she leads me to the entrance of my chamber for an hour. I see her face, the soft curves of her jaw seem to lead you straight to her lips, which are thin but elegant. With a smile, teeth straight and sparkling white, she asks me to kindly undress and slide underneath the beige linens. I watched her as she left the room and began to denounce my clothes. In the corner was a water filled fountain, the whispers of sound it gave were so simple and calming. Behind it was a light so dim it could barely cast the leafy shadow of the fern that was next to it. As I looked at the unpillowed table I thought what a pleasure this was going to be. Lifting up the top sheet I slid my body slowly under, hoping not to disturb to clean pressed bedding job performed...I would hate to ruin the atmosphere of perfection right now. A subtle knock was at the door moments before my miniature goddess came through the entry. All smiles she asked if I was ready. Of course I was ready, I couldn't stop thinking of those soft hands caressing my skin since I first laid eyes upon them. Closed eyes I feel the warmth of her hands on my back, a scented oil was helping them glide along my spine. Her fingers pushing with a strength unexpected from a delicate form such as hers. The sensual process continued to my sides, where she brushed my breasts in accident. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't mind at all," I replied. She moved to the small of my back where her hands slide under the sheets, every move she made was ever more seductive to me. She asked me to turn, I obliged. There she was, right above me where my eyes could follow her. She smiled and I thought I saw a playful look in her face...but I may have been mistaken. Her hands crossed my neck and down to the underpart of my arms, where once again she briskly swiped my breasts. This time, no apology was made and I simply raised the corner of my mouth in a smirk. She lifted the sheets to massage my legs, the thighs were the best part. Her fingers coming desperately close to the throbbing curve of body that all women possess. Once again I smiled and this time there was no doubt that the playful look returned.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So this is a short story I wrote in hopes of reading it at a Poetry Reading next week. I would love any input that you all may be able to share.

Thank you and I hope you all enjoyed.

[10 Comments]

I have an obsession

With Robert Frost...I do hope you all are enjoying him as much as I do...if not, too bad, I will probably always post poems of his. (But maybe the Frost kick I am on will come to an end soon. You never know.)

Enjoy.

Waiting

Afeild at Dusk

By Robert Frost

What things for dream there are when spectre-like,
Moving among tall haycocks lightly piled,
I enter alone upon the stubble field,
From which the laborers' voices late have died,
And in the antiphony of afterglow
And rising full moon, sit me down
Upon the full moon's side of the first haycock
And lose myself amid so many alike.

I dream upon the opposing lights of the hour,
Preventing shadow until the moon prevail;
I dream upon the night-hawks peopling heaven,
Each circling each with vague unearthly cry,
Or plunging headlong with fierce twang afar;
And on the bat's mute antics, who would seem
Dimly to have made out my secret place,
Only to lose it when he pirouettes,
And seek it endlessly with purblind haste;
On the last swallow's sweep; and on the rasp
In the abyss of odor and rustle at my back,
That, silenced by my advent, finds once more,
After an interval, his instrument,
And tries once--twice--and thrice if I be there;
And on the worn book of old-golden song
I brought not here to read, it seems, but hold
And freshen in this air of withering sweetness;
But on the memory of one absent most,
For whom these lines when they shall greet her eye.

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