BasBleu

Name: BasBleu
Joined On: Jul 24, 2008
Maintag: Bas Bleu
Age: 40
Occupation:
Location: Florida
Currently: Offline
Last seen: 1/5/09

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09/12/08

Size DOES Matter

I freely and willfully admit I am enslaved by sugar and all things chocolatey sweet. An unfortunate consequence of aging is I can no longer eat an entire quart of Ben and Jerry's without consequences. My body, particularly my belly and rear end, retain every fat and sugar molecule I consume.

In my attempts to prevent my body from betraying me any further, I have made it my mission to find healthier, less waist-expanding alternatives. I carefully investigate all isles in the grocery store, scrutinizing dessert products to find something sweet and satisfying, yet calorically humble. I recently spotted what, at the time, I believed to be my solution. Sitting on an end cap, featured if you will, were boxes of Weight Watchers chocolate cake. I read the following description: "Rich, delicious and satisfying. Weight Watchers chocolate cakes with chocolate icing help make achieving your everyday successes easier." A small footnote mentions they are artificially flavored. I don't care. They only have 90 calories. I drop a box into my shopping cart. I feel quite pleased with myself and dismiss the Ben and Jerry's.

I felt betrayed when I opened the box and layed eyes on those artificially flavored nuggets. Who do they think they're kidding? What cruel sadistic marketing rep thought this was acceptable? I now understand why they are only 90 calories. Even if I restrain myself, this teensy-weensy minuscule dwarf cake only renders me two contemptible bites. These cakes would only appease my sweet tooth if I ate four of them.

Note to self: Follow your passion even if it adds another inch

sorry: still can't figure out how to post a pic!

Posted by BasBleu @ 5:50 pm EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments

09/10/08

Power Tools and Pain Medication

A brilliant idea struck me this past weekend: Let's finally get the Xbox 360 online. This spendid notion was conceived under the residual effects of pain medication prescribed after major dental surgery was performed Friday. Anyone familiar with Darvacet will understand the radiant, glowing, glittering force this drug possesses.

I fancy myself fairly handy with these types of projects - what I lack in technical knowledge, I make up for with sheer will. I call a certain electronics store and ask if the 360 wireless adapter will be compatible with my N-wireless router. I am told it is NOT compatible. I then call the Big Box store and ask if Microsoft makes an adapter compatible with an N-router. Now I am told YES. I don't know who to believe. I decide not to take my chances. I do not want to drop $100.00 only to discover it will not operate. I am resolved to get this damn machine online. I choose to run a cable from the 360 to my router.

My entertainment center is against the living room wall; the computer on the other side of said wall. I merely need to drill a hole through from one side to the other and fish the cable through. Simple. I can do this. No problem. I have a girlie 12V cordless drill and also a big ol' Dewalt power drill. Enough power to get through flimsy drywall.

I estimate the location of the entertainment center in relation to the router on the other side of the wall. I begin using my little cordless drill. Strange, I have a standard length drill bit, but I am having problems reaching through to the other side. Is it possible this bit is too short? Drill not powerful enough? I switch to the manly, powerful Dewalt drill. The bit sinks to the hilt. I need a longer drill bit. It's time for a trip to Ace Hardware - never you mind that warning about heavy machinary. I purchase a 14" drill bit. Head back home. Attach said bit and resume drilling. By now I am becoming light-headed and my vision is blurring. I finally find purchase. I am woman, hear my roar! I ultimately feel the bit finally punch through - Victory! I wipe the sweat from my brow, bend over, and peer into the hole I just worked so hard to create. Do I see the back of my entertainment center? No, I do not. What I do see stuns me - No, it staggers me. I begin to feel dizzy. My pulse quickens. What I see through that hole is the green, green grass of my lawn. I have somehow, inexplicably drilled not only through drywall, but through concrete block and stucco as well.

I can only conclude that given a long enough drill bit, I am absolutely certain I could have reached the Earth's core, if not China.

Note to self: Never, ever, under any circumstances, mix pain medication and power tools again.

Posted by BasBleu @ 8:48 am EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments

08/22/08

Dear Florida

Dear Florida,

Let me begin by saying I realize there are many people who actually WANT to live here - clutched to your humid, mosquito infested bosom. I am sorry to say this, but I am no longer one of your fans.

You welcomed me in 2004 with not one, not two, not three, but 4 hurricanes. You were even kind enough to name one of them after one of my cats (Ivan).

I inquired frequently to long time residents as to the actual duration of Summer. I did not think it possible for it to last 10 months. I have since discovered that rather than the normal 4 seasons I was accustomed to, you only provide 2: Summer and Summer Light.

In June of this year, one of your more mentally defective residents made quite an impressive attempt to burn the city. This fire you so lovingly fed nearly burned my house down.

Most recently you gave us Fay - a tropical storm - not a big bad ass hurricane - but none the less, managed to dump a record amount of rain. You prevented me from getting to my home. That same home who's grass just started coming back after your June conflagration.

I would also like to thank you for creating an environment apparently welcoming to sexual predators. I have two of them right around the corner.

I have come to respect the power you yield, Florida. But can't we all just get along?

www.flickr.com/photos/12657785@N02/sets/72157601865272253/

Photo set includes pictures of my newly completed bookshelves - for those of you into that sort of thing.

Posted by BasBleu @ 7:36 pm EDT | Permalink | 6 Comments

08/22/08