Hospital Charting

Medical transcriptionists have a rough job. The lingo is often times bewildering. Add in an accent, background noise, and the blazing run-through of pertinent negatives... the result can be indecipherable. Here are a few examples a patient gave me today:

The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.

The patient refused an autopsy.

Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

Examination of genitalia revealed that he is circus sized.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Occassional constant infrequent headaches.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

The lab tests indicate abnormal lover function.