A Thank You

I wanted to thank Unwashedmass for his recent blog post: here

Over the last week I have had so much crap thrown in my face it was about as much as I could handle. Between a friend sleeping with my ex-wife, the mother of my son, and my ex-girlfriend slamming me every chance she gets, to someone I have been in love with for over 10 years totally and completely shutting me out of her life, I was at my wits end. The anger and the pain was consuming me to the point that I was loosing sleep, and I could feel my ulcer bruning a whole thru the lining of my stomach.

My friend, who recently joined the army and is stationed in Iraq, I was told had a one night stand with my ex-wife. I knew that she was the one that went and picked him up from the air-port. Which in itself pissed me off, Why the hell is one my good friends picking up my ex from the air port? Why didn't he call me and ask me? Anyway, I confronted him and my ex-wife about it. My ex-wife got pissed off more at the fact that anyone was thinking this. He just got pissed off because I found out what was being said. For three days it was nothing but a fight, a fight where he did everything in his power to avoid the question at hand: Did you sleep with my ex-wife? Instead of getting a yes or no, I recieved an e-mail telling me how horrible of a friend I was, how I looked down on him, and treated him like shit, and I was never much of a friend to him anyways, I responded telling him basically he was full of crap and he still had yet to answer the question. The next reponse I got from him was what did it matter she's your ex-wife, and made it seem like I was crawling back to her. I responded no, but it does matter who shes with for the simple fact that 90% of the time, my son is in her care, is with her, so whoever she dates, whoever she sleeps with, it affects my child, therefore it affects me. Finally on the last e-mail he gives me an answer: no. So after all the bullshit and drama, I finally get an answer. And I told him I believed him, and I do I don't think he slept with her. Her reactions and her answer to me, and his final answer to me, they weren't lies, I know both of these people well enough, and have caught both of them in lies before, to know this wasn't a lie. However I do know my friend well enough to know that he did tell everyone he did sleep with her. As long as I've known him sex was always more important then friendship, so I've decided he's a friend no longer worth having.

On to my ex-grilfriend. All Im going to say is things didn't work out. Wether it was I wasn't giving enough, or she was too needy, it just didn't work. She had to leave to take care of her dying father, something I knew had to be done and wasnt at all upset about. No matter how much I tried to make her happy, there was always something upsetting her. She always had some type of drama, and I always had to do something about it. I will say that a couple of the times, the drama was mine as drama will always occur when their is an ex-wife and a child. However the drama just got to be too much for me to handle or to even care. We broke up while she was taking care of her father. The last straw was, I told her I would call her when my son laid down for a nap, the nap never came, so I was just going to call her when he went to bed, no biggie. Boy was I wrong, I had just laid down, and was getting ready to call her, when the phone rang. I picked up, and it was her. Immediately it turns into a fight, she tells me that because I didn't call her earlier, I didn't care about her.......??? I told her I spent the day with my son, he never took a nap, and I was fixing to call you. It finally escalated to the point where she was trying to make herself more important then my son and I had finally had enough. We had been fighting for weeks, niether one of us were happy, so I decided to break it off. Well its my fault now that most her stuff is down here with me, my responsibility to get it all back to her. She asked me to mail her a ring she had given to me to wear and the key to her car, I was like np. Mailed it two her as soon as I could, well it wasnt soon enough, and she proceeded to tell me that I kept the ring out of spite for the exteneded period of time, and that Im keeping all her furniniture because I refuse to send it to her..Any way its been a long drawn out fight, on that I no longer wish to fight, all I wanted back was the key too my truck and the key to my house, two things she refuses to give to me.

Last the woman I have been in love with for the last 10 years, her I'll save for another post, since this one is already extremely long.

I finally I would just like to thank unwashedmass mainly because I read his thread last night. Own your own shit, I was letting the emotions brought on by these situations run me, I was letting the hate and anger into every little moment of the day. However, I read his post, I read the things he was going thru, and read the meaning behind Own your own shit.  For the first time in weaks I went to bed last night with a clear head, and was able to get a good nights sleep. I woke up this morning the pain of my ulcer gone. I read UM's post and for once I realized what I needed to do, and because of that I thank you UM. I'm pretty sure that when things start to get shitty, and the pain and the hurt get to be to much to handle, the words "Own you Own Shit." will echo thru my thoughts, and Ill be able to take control of the situation, and not let the emotions take control. Ty Mass