Portraits by Twisted

Our very own, and very talented Twisted, was kind enough to make a long time dream of mine come true.  He used charcoal and paper (which sounds like how you start the grill to me) to bring two photos of my kiddos to life!  He has already posted both of them in his blog, but he asked me for some pictures once they were hung.  I beg that you don't let my sorry photography detract from his amazing work. 

 

 

Posted by DixieBelle @ 12:37 pm EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments

Batman Birthday

Some time back my daughter decided that she wanted me to make her birthday cake for her.  I had absolutely no idea how, but I jumped in with both feet.  I have several cakes under my belt now, I guess you could say.     I've done a few for "pay."  As a matter of fact, I have a groom's cake to do in a couple of months.  Thank goodness I was able to duck the wedding cake gig.  In the spirit of the recent Batman release (fantastic movie-- easily the best superhero movie made), I thought I would show you my son's 5th birthday cake from last May.  It was my first attempt, completely self-taught, with fondant, so excuse the mistakes.  Anyway, completely designed, baked, and decorated by yours truly.

 

 

 

Posted by DixieBelle @ 10:21 pm EDT | Permalink | 15 Comments

My Non-Poopy Day

Non-poopy because there were no toilets and none of the 400 students, 3, 4, and 5 year olds, in the school could go poopy, or pee-pee, or hand washy, or water fountain sippy.  Yes, that's right, they told us at 8 am that the water was off for a bit and nobody could use the bathroom.  This was just as they finished guzzling down both juice and milk with breakfast and were beginning the first morning pee-pee dance for our daily scheduled first restroom break.  "I'm sorry, honey, the water isn't working."  I sang sweetly to them.  This was met with a blank stare, and the drawn-out whine, "But I've REEEEEEEALLLLLYYYY got to go!"  About this time our vice-principal comes over the intercom and announces:  "Teachers, please listen carefully.  When I call your name bring your class and your assistant to the front of the school.  Please move quickly."  What was this? A school evacuation?  Had there been a bomb threat?  A gas leak?  Soon the whispers of school gossip made its way to my room.  The plan is to call classes, 3 at a time to bus them to the nearest school to potty, and then return them to pick up another group.  "Adams, Bradley, Boston," a voice announces.  Geez, Louise!!!!  They are going in alphabetical order, and for those who don't know me well, my last name begins with "P."  What irony.

When our turn finally, and I do mean FINALLY, comes, I walk my class to the second set of restrooms in the building.  I go into the boys restroom to count how many stalls there are.  I come out, send in the first three boys and I say, "Boys, there are three doors in there.  I want you to each go to a different door and do any kind of potty you have to, or think that you may have to before the day is over."  I send them inside.  Soon, I hear discussion inside.  "Boys!"  I call out into the porcelain palace.  "Let's get done, others are waiting."  Soon I hear the level of noise raise to excited chatter.  "Fellas!"  I call, a bit more sternly.  Now the chatter raises yet another level.  I walk in to see three little boys, fully dressed, staring at the three urinals on the wall and one is saying, "Yeah, guys!  But I wonder how they go to the bathroom here at this school.  We don't use a waterfall."  "BOYS!,"  I choke out, through the laughter, "I said the DOORS!  Go to the doors!"  No teacher I know makes enough money to explain that.  (One little boy in another class got back on the bus and announced, "Hey!  Did y'all see that the hand washing sinks were on the FLOOR?"  Eeeewwwww!  Hope that teacher packed some serious sanitizer, cause we can't wash our hands without any water back at the ranch.)

The water was finally restored right before lunch.  A nutritious, and sanitary, I am sure, lunch of grilled cheese, five pickles, and half a banana served on a styrofoam plate.  We returned to our class just in time to hear the glorious announcement, "Teachers, you may now use the restroom."   The rush toward the bathroom of ill-mannered, pushing folks could only be described as a stampede.  And that was for the faculty bathroom.  Never, since the day that I announced that we could have cupcakes and chips before lunch, have I heard such excited little children.  "Now we get to go to the potty!" they cheered.

Exactly 20 minutes before the end of school, the water main breaks.  If you walk out my back classroom door it looks as if a spring has erupted and is now feeding a stream that runs into our neighbor's yard.  An up-scale bed and breakfast.  Hope no wedding receptions are planned this weekend.  It seems that our exuberance in flushing the toilets after emptying our bladders that had stretched from the size of our school superintendent's brain to the size of a honey-dew melon had broken the patch that was supposed to sit overnight to "set-up."  As we left school they were bailing water out in buckets hoping to re-patch the water main and let it cure overnight.  Never-mind the 70% chance of thunderstorms we have tonight.  Tomorrow promises to be just as exciting.

These are the days  that I chant, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. . . "

Posted by DixieBelle @ 5:38 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

"Here, Hold My Beer!"

(I originally posted this in my clan forum on Halo Launch Day.  I was asked to add it here, as well.) These are the words that I could have heard last night. Let me set the stage for you. It was parent teacher conference day and I was coming home at 5:00. Realize, no teacher likes to work until 5:00. I was tired and ready to sit on my couch and play a night of shotties on Midship with my girls. I turned onto the street and what to my wondering eyes did appear but Rogue's uncle's truck, Rogue's aunt's car, and a flatbed wrecker-- all parked in my yard. Our neighbors will soon be moving so we bought a large metal shed from them. Large enough that it had to be moved by a "professional." That would be the reason for the flatbed wrecker. Our driveway has a steep incline that levels off. They load the shed onto wrecker and begin backing it up my driveway. I notice that they are heading straight for the power line that attaches to my house. I think, "Maybe they will hit level ground before they reach it and it will fit under." No luck. Soon I see sparks begin to fly as the line touches the metal roof. "Bubba" starts yelling, "Ho-- ho-- We're hitting it. Hmmmm. Let's try it again." After three rounds of this "Bubba" realizes the line is not going to be kind enough to raise itself. On to the next plan. They give MY HUSBAND (he's tall, you know) a 2x4 and stand him on a METAL LADDER to attempt to raise the line over the top of the roof of this building. I ushered my children into the backyard in hopes that they didn't witness their daddy frying past original recipe straight into extra crispy. I turned my back. After several tries it is determined that this plan, however masterful it may have been, was not to be successful, either. On to plan three. Rogue's aunt looks at me and says (in a very disturbed voice), "They want Joey to stand in the bed of his truck and lift that wire over the roof." WHAT? Please repeat yourself, I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood you. It sounded like you said that they just asked my husband to sit in the electric chair while they test the current. Say again? I turn around to see Rogue backing up his truck. Now I normally do not question Rogue, and ESPECIALLY not in front of other folks, but this was too much. I go stomping into the front yard, while steadily losing I.Q. points and teeth. I arrived in the front yard a full fledged Redneck Woman. I'm near shouting, "Do I need to call Scott, do I?" (He is my best friend's husband, and an electrical engineer.) Everyone gives me this, "Oh, stupid, stupid woman. We have this COMPLETELY under control" look. So then I got really bold. "No. Stop. I'm calling Gary right now! (Gary is our friend who is a line-man who lives at the end of the hill.) Just wait. No!" I go flying into the house, knowing full well that when I get out of sight they are going to laugh at little Dummy Dimples and start again. I am not sure if Gary even understood 3 words of my tirade including "no idea what they are doing," "burn my house down," and "trying to kill my husband," but he quickly promised to come right on. When I returned outside to throw myself under the electrified building to protest anymore movement until Gary arrived, it slowly began to sink in what a scene I must have just caused. "Bubba" and his partner, "Bubba," were now leaning against Rogue's truck and everyone was waiting on Gary. Bubba looks at me and says, "Safety first, huh?" with this chastising smile. Oh, go suck on a pig's foot, Bubba-- or that electrified building would do. Gary arrives, not on a white horse, but on a muddy 4-wheeler. At that point, and considering my Redneck alter ego had not yet fully subsided, I'll take it. I returned to the back yard and soon the shed is being nestled into her new home. I go into the house, check the electricity, and then moseyed out to see what Gary was staring up at. "I'm gonna have to go get a truck," he says. "They fried your line. All of it." He leaves to get the bucket truck, another city employee, and punch in for the THREE HOURS of overtime it took him to replace the line coming into our house. After he finished he said, "Well, you would have had some real problems tonight." Just imagine how upset Rogue would have been if the house would have caught on fire last night, or even worse, if the power would have gone out right after he got his copy of Halo 3!

Posted by DixieBelle @ 5:12 pm EDT | Permalink | 12 Comments

Homemade Ice Cream

So, first I need to apologize for the long lack of recipes, but I became frustrated with not being able to cut and paste from PMs to my blog--but with all of the updates I'm ready to try again!

Summer is full upon us!  Of course, here in the South "Summer" begins somewhere in the middle of March and will not end until late October or early November.  This brings back memories of red Kool-Aide and butter cookies at Bible School and the annual family reunion.  Held in July.  In the park.  In the sweltering hot.  Everybody's grandmas' cooking, potato salad, fried chicken, REAL macaroni and cheese, and, as always, fresh cranked ice cream.  Daddy always made fresh peach or banana, his personal favorite.  And since I was the youngest child it was always my job to sit on top of the freezer to "hold it down."  Now, being a parent myself, I'm sure this is probably not a necessary job, rather one that was fabricated to make me hush the cry of "I want to help!  Let me turn the crank.  When is it my turn?"  Kind of like the first time I went fishing with my boyfriend and his grandparents.  Forty-five minutes into the lake and I hadn't said a word, which is, may I say, quite unusual.  "What's wrong with you?  Why aren't you talking?"  I, of course, didn't want to scare the fish away!  Since I had been old enough to hold a reel those words had been ingrained in me by my father.  The things a parent will tell a child for a little quiet!  Anyway, I digress. 

So tonight we are having the in-laws over for a little thank you dinner for taking it upon themselves to sod our entire back yard.  Hey, what a deal!  Their request was, as always, my lasagna, which I guess would be my "signature dish" if I were to have one.  I was trying to think of a dessert that would be light after the fest of cheese, noodle, and heavy sauce, so ice cream came to mind.  Besides, won't that be fun for my two kiddos?  They are 7 and 4 and we have never done this with them.  Needless to say, my four year old is bouncing off the wall at the mention!  So, I began searching for recipes and this is the one that I settle upon.  It is, in fact, my in-laws' recipe since it is their favorite.

Homemade Ice Cream

3 quarts of milk
1 can of Pet Evaporated Milk
3 cups sugar
9 eggs
Fresh fruit

Mix milk and evaporated milk in saucepan and begin heating.  Stir together eggs and sugar.  Pour into the milk mixture and stir, stir, stir!  Cook over low to medium heat, stirring constantly until cooked into a custard.  The mixture will cover the spoon when lifted out.  (I thought it looked like egg nog.)  Cool.  Chill.  Puree' fresh fruit, adding sugar to taste.  Stir fruit into custard and freeze in an ice cream freezer.

We are trying strawberry since the peaches aren't in season yet.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  Does anybody else have a great homemade ice cream recipe?

Posted by DixieBelle @ 3:39 pm EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments