JPNor's Blog - 2old2play

Sherriff's Department!

A friend held a Halloween party at his house on Saturday night, with the typical Halloween party rule "No admittance without a costume." I had no problem with that and I enjoy dressing up for Halloween parties but was completely stumped. I'm not the kind of guy to go wearing a V for Vendetta mask and cape - I enjoy putting a bit more into it and even standing out a little bit. Problem is, I was completely stumped for a costume. Couldn't think of anything and I was even tempted to post a blog on here asking for your ideas.

Friday afternoon, practically last minute, I was watching some videos on Youtube and found one that clicked with me. Perfect! Went to the mall on Saturday and picked up a few costume pieces.

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Murder was the case that they gave her

Actually, it wasn't really murder, at least not when real charges are filed:

Japanese woman faces jail over online 'murder'

A Japanese woman could face a prison sentence after killing off her virtual husband in a computer game.

The 43-year-old became so angry about a sudden "divorce" from her online husband in the interactive Maple Story game that she logged on with his password and deleted his digital persona.

She has been arrested on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data.

The woman used the man's username and password to log in to the game and carry out the virtual murder in May, a police official in the northern city of Sapporo said.

"I was suddenly divorced - without a word of warning. That made me so angry," the official quoted her as saying.

The woman, a piano teacher, had not plotted any revenge in the real world, he said.

She has not yet been formally charged, but could face up to five years in prison or a fine of more than £3,000 if eventually convicted.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/24/japan-games

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Down with stem cell research!

Personally I'm getting really sick of "Obama said" and "McCain said" and "Palin squeeked", but this was just too funny not to pass up. I apologize if somebody else already posted it (my dad just sent it to me today).

Explanation unnecessary. It's short and REALLY funny.

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyvqhdllXgU

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Milwaukee Bound

Here's just a quick one......

I'm boarding the plane tomorrow for the healthcare conference in Milwaukee. I'll be there until Wednesday morning, back home Wednesday night.

Last couple times I posted I got the vibe that 2o2p doesn't have much representation in Milwaukee, but if anybody is in town at the same time fire off a PM. I will have at least a couple nights and a full day (Sunday) for downtime and I'd love to get together for a drink somewhere. I've heard there's some place called Miller that makes some alcoholic beverage in that general vicinity..........

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My worthless opinion. Part 2.

Maybe it's because my kid is sick and I haven't been sleeping. But little things are just annoying the piss out of me today.

This morning, on the way in to work, I was stuck behind one. And then I noticed another one outside my office.

Vanity Plates.

I'm not grouping all vanity plates into the same category here. Some of them are clever and some funny (see the bottom of this blog). And there are some that are just indecipherable (is that even a word?).

No, the ones that annoy me for no particular reason are the "I'm too cool" plates. This morning, it was a Mustang with the plate "STYLIN". Outside my office it's a Corvette with "CHEKROUT". Then there's this guy, found on a Google image search:

Are ya? Are ya really? How 'bout "TINYCOK" or "NEVRLAID"?

It's inexplicable why this annoys me so much. Maybe because somebody had to spend $35 to tell the world how cool they are. Or maybe because they just felt the need to say it in the first place. Or, quite possibly, because it's somewhere on the originality scale of a minivan with the plate "4R-KIDS". Yech.

But to redeem the negative tone of this post, here's one that I really got a chuckle out of:

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WTF happened to Rolling Stone?

I have been reading Rolling Stone magazine on and off for over a decade. Roughly 10 years ago, it was great and I really enjoyed reading it. Since then I lost some interest in the magazine. I canceled my subscription but I'd pick up a copy every now and then.

Several months back, I started receiving copies in the mail again. I never paid for a subscription and never got the "Happy Birthday, here's a subscription" card from anybody. Nonetheless, I'm still getting the magazine every two weeks. The quality certainly has deteriorated but there's this other thing that's really starting to annoy me.

In March, Barack Obama dominated the front page. At the time he was ahead in the primaries and everybody was talking about him. I disregarded Rolling Stone's liberal stance chalking it up to the fact that the rag is about current events, and Obama certainly was a current event.

Then I noticed a similar trend on the cover of nearly every issue in my mailbox. "Sarah Palin's history of lies"; "McCain's track record of failure"; "Why John McCain will sink this country". Those headlines aren't exact but you get the idea.

I'm not saying I agree or disagree with Rolling Stone's political agenda. Personally, I'm registered independent and haven't made my decision yet. But I'd rather make the decision on my own terms without having Rolling Stone try to make it for me. I really don't need Pro-Obama/Anti-McCain propoganda shoved down my throat.

I don't remember Rolling Stone always having been like this. Even just 10 years ago, I don't remember politics being anywhere near the cover (except when the Clinton/Lewinsky thing happened but then what magazine wasn't talking about that?).

Fuck it, I'll just buy Penthouse and Hustler.

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The liability of playing God

I received this story via email which I found to be very interesting:

Parents sue after child inherits hemophilia

The words new mother Fiona least expected or wanted to hear when she gave birth were "It's a boy."

The 30-year-old and her husband Paul used in-vitro fertilization, known as IVF, with the specific aim of producing a daughter and expected a girl for the entire pregnancy.

A family history of an incurable blood disorder, which strikes only males, was behind their decision to opt for the controversial sex selection procedure.

By taking the extreme step of asking doctors to discard all male embryos and implant only a female, they hoped their child would avoid the life-threatening condition that Fiona has watched her wheelchair-bound older brother battle his entire life.

But soon after baby Jess was born in June, 2005, doctors confirmed he has a severe form of hemophilia, the condition his family was so desperate to avoid.

The couple, from regional Victoria, has launched a Supreme Court action against Melbourne IVF, Ballarat Health Services, their obstetrician and Bendigo Radiology.

Fiona claims that at no time during her pregnancy — even after two ultrasounds — did anyone tell her the child she was carrying was a boy. The couple say they would have considered terminating the pregnancy had they known.

The rest of the story at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340737,00.html

So on the one hand, this couple took extremely costly measures to ensure that they would bring a child into the world, without subjecting that child to a life time of disease and painful medical treatments. On the other hand, nature intervened and now they want to sue because they were unsuccesful playing God.

It's a tough call and any parent would agree that they want the best for their child(ren). But a lawsuit?

Do you think the lawsuit is without merit? I don't want to turn this into a conservative vs. liberal discussion but the fact remains that the advances in medicine make it possible to take such extreme measures. If the ultrasound techs had mentioned that it's going to be a boy, this couple was not adverse to terminating the pregnancy - but again, is it really worth suing over?

We have some pretty sensible people on the site (as well as some not so sensible!) and I'd really like to hear your thoughts.

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Finest restaurant in Milwaukee?

I posted a blog about 2 months ago asking for your advice in a day trip for next month, when I have a conference in Milwaukee. We decided to go to Chicago for the day trip, and then at some point during the week checking out the Miller Brewery tour in Milwaukee.

The next challenge is this: one of our very loyal clients is the chair of the conference committee so she will be in town when we are there. On the Saturday night when we all fly in, we are going to take her and her coworkers out to dinner as a "thank you" for her business and her loyalty. I've researched a few different restaurants online but I am sure I'm missing at least one. I'm not exactly a high cuisine kind of guy so my efforts online could potentially have been a bit misguided.

This is where I need you, the current or former Milwaukeeans of 2old2play, to give me a recommendation. The conference is at the Midwest Airlines Center and all our hotels are in the same vicinity. Where are the finest restaurants in that part of town? We don't want to hold back (and the company is paying for it, not me ) and this client really is very valued to us, so a $200-per-bottle-wine type of place is what we're looking for.

If anybody has any suggestions, let's hear 'em!

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RIP Otis - 1990-2008

I know my blog is generally reserved for dumb internet videos and toungue-in-cheek rants so I must apologize for a more depressing change in tone.

I got a call yesterday from my parents in Connecticut, with the news that they had to put down Otis, their miniature dachsund. He has been blind and deaf the last few years but it didn't seem to bother him - I've seen him get lost in a corner of the kitchen, bumping into walls, but his tail still wagging. Turns out that Saturday night he had a seizure that lasted for hours and appeared to be in a world of pain so early Sunday they brought him to the vet and pulled the plug, so to speak.

Otis turned 18 years old on Wednesday, and on Friday they even had a birthday party for him. I was in sixth grade, 11 years old when we got him. He was always the perfect pooch - very rarely barked, very loyal, and while he wasn't a lap dog he was always happy to see everybody who came through the door.

In 2002 I moved out of my parents' house, and then to New Hampshire almost five years ago. The last few years every time I'd drive to Connecticut to see my parents my dad would joke to say good bye to Otis, as this may be my last time seeing him. But my dad also said not long ago that they have struggled with the choice to put him down, and always decided not to because regardless of his old-age health issues, he still appeared to be a happy dog.

When my sister started planning his birthday party the question hanging over everyone's head was "will he make it to his 18th birthday?" He did, and just long enough for a party where some close friends came over and got to see him one last time. Needless to say when I got the call yesterday afternoon, as much as we've been expecting this - for at least 2-3 years now - I was upset to have lost an old friend.

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Oh no you di'int!

I'm in the early stages of designing new marketing materials and an exhibit booth for a conference coming up in 2 months. I have worked exhibit booths for many conferences in the past and they've all been fairly straightforward. But in the past I've only had to market one half of the business, as the company is already fairly well-established. That second half of the business, in fact, was THE big player in the market for the services that we offered. A couple years ago, another company emerged from the darkness and quickly built themselves up to #2.

A bit of competition never really hurt anybody, or so I thought. We are still #1 and we still have all the big clients that are really worth a damn. But within the last couple months I've realized why some of our smaller clients have left us for #2.

The other guys are fighting dirty. And I don't mean they've been undercutting our prices - I mean DIRTY. There are a number of examples but the most obvious is this: they have been lying to our clients, saying that my company buys from their company, and that we are not performing half the work that we say we're doing. In fact, their exhibit booth from another conference even says "Let us solve your __________ problem!" (the ____ being the service that we provide, an obvious stab at my company)

Fortunately our larger clients are very loyal and can see through all the bullcrap. But there are new clients out there every week, and as our industry grows more and more of them will need our services. I'm not going to sink to the same level as that shithead, nor am I going to try to get all caught up in "he said/she said" drama while trying to clear up the facts.

But what I would love is to expose this fucking fraud for the lying piece of pigeon crap that he is. And here's where I need your help, sadistic casual blog readers: HOW? Anybody been in similar competition with a real shithead, or have any ideas how I can discredit him without starting drama? Personally I'd love to call him a fat c_nt to his face but I don't think that would fare well.

I know some of you are much more creative than I. I await your suggestions

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It's Back!

Update on yesterday's blog...

I went back to the dealership after work since it's 2 minutes from my office, 45 minutes from my house. They were short staffed so while I was assured that my car was done, they were having trouble finding a free staff member to drive it back to the dealership from the body shop. After about 20 minutes of waiting, they brought it back and several people (including the service manager for the chain of dealerships) came outside to inspect it. All was good though, and the fender looks like new. Can't complain. Well yeah, I can complain. Those chicken fuckers kept my car for three days and forced me to drive a Pontiac all week.

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Car Troubles

Last week (Monday) I decided to trade in my 2003 Honda Element for something a bit smaller, with better fuel economy, lower payments, and less miles (the Element had 117,000). Well, one out of four ain't bad - I purchased a brand new 2008 Honda Ridgeline. I did a ton of research, spent 5 hours at the dealership over 3 days trying to talk myself out of making an impulsive decision. I REALLY liked the showroom model, which happened to be the last of that color, so I watched as they rearranged the showroom to get my new truck out for me.

So the truck is fucking awesome and I love driving it. On Wednesday, while I was walking around the passenger's side something caught my eye. Several small scratches around the rear wheel well with a chip. A fucking chip in the paint. Exposed steel underneath it. Which, by the way, looked like it was already on the way to rusting.

The scratches look like they were caused by something hard brushing up against the rear fender. A baby stroller, perhaps. Considering the truck was sitting in the showroom for at least a week, I'm definitely not ruling out the idea that some middle-aged woman wheeled her six-month-old shit factory into the fender, but a variety of things could have caused it.

I went straight to the dealership and spoke with my sales guy and the customer relations manager. First, my sales guy asks if I live in a rough neighborhood. Yeah, the ski/golf resort community I live in is plagued by a group of rogue midgets who runs around scratching people's wheel wells. Then he, the customer relations manager (who I actually can't complain about.. he's a nice enough guy), and about six other sales people run over to inspect the damage on my truck. The customer relationship then comes back in and goes to the sales desk (the guys in $75 JC Penney power suits who chat about last night's Red Sox game whilst the sales person pretends to try to get a better deal). I overhear one of the oversized testicles at the desk say "it'll be cheaper to install fender flares."

Wrong answer, bitch-tits. I may not be an expert on steel's properties regarding moisture and oxidation, but I believe that rust + something covering rust = more rust. Not to mention it's a pickup truck, not a ricer.

The decision is made to re-paint the fender. I set up an appointment with the service department and enjoy my weekend. On Tuesday morning, I drop off the truck. Since there's no guarantee I'll have my truck back the same day, they set me up with a rental car. I get a call from the service advisor later Tuesday afternoon and the truck is not ready yet, should be ready tomorrow (Wednesday). Wednesday afternoon, I get a voice mail from the same guy stating that the truck came back but that you could see the scratches through the new paint. No sanding, no primer, just touch-up paint over their fuck-up. So he sent it back to the body shop. I keep my rental overnight again.

The rental paperwork said I had two days, so I called this afternoon to find out the status and avoid having to pay for the rental. Turns out they returned it again late yesterday and even though it was better, it still wasn't 100%. So he sent it back a third time.

Now, credit to the service advisor for actually looking at the truck and making sure it's in brand new condition. While his quality control is responsible for my being without my truck for three days, I certainly appreciate that he's making sure the job is done. But if the goat-felching ass hairs in the body shop (that was for Dixon Tufar BTW) are getting paid to make a new car look new, perhaps they should not half-ass their job by tossing $2 fucking .50 worth of touch-up paint on my car.

So that's where I'm at right now. I have a bunch of plans for the weekend and if these technical school drop-outs fuck it up a third time I'm asking for another new car.

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Back - and you never knew I was gone!

And I'm sure the title is true. I was going to throw a quick blog up last week but ended up getting swamped and didn't have time to blog about vacation.

But I just got home after 6 days in the Dominican Republic. I stayed in an all-inclusive resort in Punta Cana and left the resort only once the whole trip, and that was for about two hours for souvenir shopping. Overall I had a blast - lots of swimming and lounging on the beach, and I went with my wife and four of our close friends so it was like college, partying all day and staying up all night drinking. Also a side benefit of being in a foreign country with many foreign tourists: topless hotties everywhere. The downside: there were twice as many women I'd prefer never to see topless.

And somehow, I'm not sure exactly how, I drank the water. It could have been in the ice in one of the frozen drinks, or maybe I wasn't careful enough taking a shower - but somehow I ingested just enough to wake up yesterday morning with "that" bug. I'll spare you the details - the most prevalent symptom ain't pretty. Fortunately it came up late enough in the trip that it didn't really affect things.

Anyway I'm tired as hell and I have to go back to work tomorrow so I'll wrap it up. I have way too many drunken pictures that require a lot of explaining so I'll just leave you with one of the nicer pics from the trip. (The woman lying down sunbathing to the left of the two guys... yeah, she's topless).

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Day trip: Milwaukee or Chi-Town?

In October one of my sales lackies and I will be going on a business trip for a few days at a conference in Milwaukee. I've never been to Milwaukee or really anywhere else in the midwest for that matter. I'm flying in on a Saturday to take some clients out to an expensive dinner, and the conference doesn't start until Monday giving us all Sunday free.

Now, he and I are already talking about plans for the trip. We'll have a few hours each day to spend in Milwaukee but we're still undecided on that Sunday. We already ruled out a football game, as the Packers are in Seattle that day. Then we realized if we're willing to drive the two hours to Lambeau Field, we could just as easily rent a car and drive down to Chicago.

I will not be able to make it to the LAN this year. I'd love to go but the timing is way wrong for me. Perhaps I should wait to post this until after everyone experiences the LAN but we're still in the process of making our plans. However I'll plant the seed now anyway as I'm hoping a couple people from the midwest are reading my blog: Chicago or Milwaukee? And what are some options in either town? The guy I'm going with is my age (29) and is pretty open so finding a mutually agreeable agenda shouldn't be difficult.

He has expressed some interest in the Chicago day trip but if somebody knows of reasons to stay in Milwaukee, we're all ears.

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Shitty home-made vid!

The kid took a nice long nap yesterday so I quickly threw together a video and uploaded it to Youtube. I spent minimal time with the editing so the audio levels are all way off and need work if I wanted it to be more "professional" but I was just looking for a fun mash. Enjoy.

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8LqHvsgpCk

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