Stucky

Hi, hello, nice of you to show up
I stuck ya with a nade, now it's time for you to blow up
Throw up yer hands in disgust, call me lucky
Call me what you want, I call you Stucky

Oh, hello, there you are my friend
I got ya in my sights squeeze the trigger, dead again
Now you're getting pissed, cuz you shot, but then you missed
Meanwhile I'm getting kills and assists

Fists full of fury, now you've got the sword
You're coming in to melee, and to slice my spinal chord
Little did you know that my team's around the corner
Team shooting strikes again, now you're a goner

The match is almost over and you're still runnin' hot
Steaming like a lobster in a boiling pot
Now you're out to get me, no matter what the cost
But I stick you once again and hope is lost.
-Krazy E

Posted by Krazy_E @ 6:38 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

I put the Lag in Blag

I put the lag in blag, I put the hops in beer
I put a cotton swab inside my ear
About a month ago, I made my first home brew
And above is the label, woo hoo!

The beer came out fine, but there's things to change
For me the hops fell just a little out of range
The malt ratio was great, it was nice and dark
But I'd like more bite than bark

The recipe I followed was for Trappist Ale
Malts used were chocolate, crystal, wheat and pale
For hops Fuggles, Hallertaur, Irish Moss
I think the Fuggles was probably the boss

Next batch Hallertaur will be increased
And I'll probably ditch the wheat and increase the yeast
But for now I've got some Aliens I like to drink
And I'll try to enjoy and not overthink...
-Krazy E

The beer label was a photoshop compilation of a bunch of stock photos and kind of a stream of consciousness thing. My good friend Chris came up with the brewing company name "Aqueous Humor". So I knew it had to be an underwater scene. We had joked about adding Skittles into the bottles of beer as a sort of "secret toy surprise inside" so I had to incorporate the rainbow balls in the image somehow. My first instinct was to do an underwater desert scene, so the sphinx and camel came into play. But a camel walking on the ocean floor just didn't work for me. So I gave him a whale tail and removed his legs. The alien photo reminded me of the swimming things in the last Matrix movie, so I removed it's legs and modified the tail into a seahorse kind of thing. But I didn't want to look like a total Matrix ripoff so I added in the goat's head. Plus "Alien Goat" has a nice ring to it. The "Hatchery Ale" was supposed to signify the first born home brew from Aqueous Humor Brewing Company, so I added a little baby Alien Goat hatching out of an egg.

Below is the original label artwork I created before the text was added. I also included the stock photos I worked from. Due to the size constrictions of the beer labels I had to crop the Camel Fish out of the final label. But he may make it onto the next batch of beers. I think "Camel Fish" has a nice ring to it too.

 

Posted by Krazy_E @ 7:09 pm EDT | Permalink | 4 Comments

Call of Booty

fist full of french fries, a mouth full of beer
2old2play bumper sticker stuck to her rear
banana in my pocket, it's good to be seen
middle finger salute to the team

seems like old times, my old rhymes are new
hanging with the hippies called the crunchy crew
brew in my hand, salsa on my chips
use the steady aim when I'm shootin from the hip

tip my 40 to my homies then I take a gulp
and head out into battle with my snipe no-scope
caught ya in my crosshairs now it's time to die
you can check the kill cam to see why

cry all you want, now yer in a spawn trap
and just to piss ya off I got yer girl in my lap
with a view from behind, she sure is a beauty
and she's down with the call of booty


Posted by Krazy_E @ 6:00 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

fish tank is still dirty

I took my goldfish on a fishing trip
5 minutes from shore, let him take a dip
And wouldn't you know it, he just swam away
No thanks, no bye, he had nothing to say

But I knew he'd be back, so I sat and waited
Got my salmon roe, got my hook and baited
But I hated to think that I'd lost my fish
So I closed my eyes and made a wish

Please fishy fish swim back to me
I'll clean your tank, I swear, you'll see
I'll even buy you the expensive food
Although I'm pretty sure the cheap stuff's just as good

Wouldn't you know it, fishy fish came back
Hopped into the boat, and I gave him a snack
We headed home, and if Fishy could speak
He'd say, "you can clean my tank next week..."

Posted by Krazy_E @ 5:34 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

happy friday

When I take a break, I eat steak and cake
And I cluck like a chicken when I shake and bake
I shot a tater tot and it was later caught
In the mouth of a gal who thinks Vader's hot

She think's Annakin's just a mannequin
And has a big peace sign on her Vanagon
She likes to ride her bike and fly her kite
She got a big old welt from a spider bite

I never hated her until I dated her
I'd probably give her an 8 if I rated her
But I won't do that, or say she's too fat
and deserves to be alone with her stupid cat

Cuz that might sound mean, I want to keep it clean
Unlike the message I left, on her answer machine
That's all I got to say, 'cept happy Friday
Almost time to XBox with 2old2play

Posted by Krazy_E @ 7:25 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments