LuxDraconis's Blog - 2old2play

It started as a joke....But vote for me.

http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=38IUk173aG38B188Skrs

So, your smarter than a third grader

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble
with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your
problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My
sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should
be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office .

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told
Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of
his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal
thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I
think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some
questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a
question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps
into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging
open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in
'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions
wrong...... "

[3 Comments]

I wonder? Do they give these out to doctors?

[3 Comments]

Mcoccia come back buddy.

It was a joke....ha,ha....see? just like this....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0fUadzVa0fc&feature=related

Mcoccia come back!!

See, funny.

How do you get the NSFW thing off?

[2 Comments]

Peep show!!

[4 Comments]

GREAT READ!

One of my clan mates writes for a gaming site in Canada.

Fun read.

http://www.gamefocus.ca/?nav=article&did=297

[4 Comments]

You will be HEALED!

[9 Comments]

They end the same too.

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" and "My Life" by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report,
With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:..... Cost - $29.99
Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :.... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :.... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :..... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

[4 Comments]

For my buddy Fivesolas

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxiSFYnzoZw

[6 Comments]

Hillary and Jack Thompson are pushing for this

China cracking down on overly violent online games
February 12, 2008

ASSOCIATED PRESS

BEIJING — Seeking to ferret out online games considered overly violent or unhealthy, China has targeted illegal Web sites, computer markets and Internet cafes as part of a campaign to rein in juvenile crime.

The crackdown, christened “Operation For Tomorrow,” is also aimed at Web sites offering unregistered playing platforms or services for gamers that can be downloaded, the official Xinhua News Agency said today.

The plan will “use the law to attack, investigate and prosecute ... to cleanse the environment in which young people are raised and prevent and reduce juvenile crime and illegal activity,” the report said.

China strictly monitors the Internet for anti-government speech and uncensored news reports, but the report made no mention of such content.

Xinhua said the plan especially targets school dropouts, runaways, children of inmates, and children left behind by parents who have migrated for work.

Unlicensed Internet cafes, known as “black Web bars,” will be closed and supervision will be tightened over legal cafes, the report said.

Internet cafes have been repeatedly targeted for breeding juvenile crime and promoting truancy, despite widely ignored rules barring anyone under 18 from admission. Located in towns and small cities throughout China, Internet cafes mainly offer online games that are popular among young people. Authorities have blamed the cafes for Internet addiction and for encouraging juvenile crime as a way to earn money to play online games.

Online pornography will also be attacked under the crackdown, the report said.
Government offices were closed for the Lunar New Year holiday today, and spokesmen were unavailable for comment.

The report carried the authority of an official announcement because it was posted on the Web site of the Central Committee for Comprehensive Management of Public Security. Xinhua is state-owned and often serves the function of proclaiming official policies.

The committee is a high-level coordination and advisory body for public security departments under the central cabinet and Communist Party Central Committee.
Enforcers will act under guidelines adopted last year by 14 government departments, including the Culture Ministry, State Administration for Industry and Commerce, Public Security Ministry, and Information Industry Ministry, the report said.

Like most such measures, the crackdown seeks to increase government supervision and control over services for vulnerable groups.

While promoting government shelters and other official services, it will step up supervision over domestic and foreign charity groups and other non-governmental organizations, the report said.

WOW!!!

No thanks, I'll just do my job and be a parent, I don't need the goverment to parent for me.

[0 Comments]

Bucket list?

I don't list things " I HAVE to do" before I die.

I have "I'm going to do" list

Go to Ireland

Go to Malta

Buy my home on the shore of lake Huron

Buy the sail boat to go with the home

Punch Cluade Lemuxe in the face

Make good food for people that need it.

[3 Comments]

Finally! A bar stool for Kilt wearers

Stools at the pub can be rough on the junk in a kilt...........

Problem solved....

[1 Comments]

Fine! I did my own

Jeep you started this shit, can we stop? next thing you know this site will be 2old 2South Park......Respect my authortah!

[5 Comments]

aLL u r base is mine!!

I would like to thank Jeep Chick for letting me steal her shit....... I present her......I mean, MY new avatar

check out her blog to get the joke.

[4 Comments]

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008

WHEN...

1. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three..

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

7.. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

[2 Comments]