Apocalyptic Sign #38 That I'm An Older Gamer

I suddenly love playing Brain Age. I LOVE it! I love the quirky little tests, the concept that I'm improving my brain functions, the idea my brain is getting "younger" more agile (marketing sucker, I know...). I just learned how to play Sudoku and love the challenge in that too.

7 years ago? I'd have scoffed at myself and thought, 'What do you expect? She's over thirty.' 14 years ago (ouch) and I'd have politely felt the need to explain/lecture why these aren't really true videogames, but the stuff game companies have to put out to keep the "games-will-destroy-our-children" generations at bay. This is made for alternatives, as a game to play with your grandmother to humor her and generally for those who can't hack the speed, maturity and pace of real videogames. And as this older self walked away probably either pissed or embarrassed, my younger self might have quietly muttered "Wussy" or "Lazy" or "Wimp." Did I really think Brain Age qualifies as gaming credentials...oh...please! "Go back to Ecco The Dolphin or something, would ya?"

Isn't wonderful that now with time, wisdom and experience I no longer have the arrogance of the young (but the arrogance of the wiser! Aha!!) regarding what is or isn't cool? Further, I don't need to define or limit myself in any sort of box? I can choose to play Gears of War 2 AND still improve my brain (BTW Speaking of GOW2, where is My fantasy/dream threesome? Really, could some game designer please, PLEASE objectify some men for me to enjoy? I don't mean whining foppish men like that Paladin in Baldur's Gate 2 either, give me someone hot! Fellas, are you reading? Anwser me this if you can - don't most men like being objectified to some degree? There's got to be some sort of thrill there for you to play too, right? Sorry digression!).

Anyway knowing this...why do I still keep hearing "Wussy" delivered in a quick smart ass cough, echoing in the back of my mind?

::sighs to self and grunts irritated while bemused strangers in coffee shop blink in reaction:: Shut UP!

Thanks for looking!

M-

Posted by Maxxie @ 6:04 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

Last Night or This Morning...

I played a game. On the Wii in particular it's my first time messing around with it. First game I've played, really played since my last post. It felt...very good. So far, I suck at Wii Golf....for now. But I can bowl a lot better than I remembered, I pitch a mean fast and screw ball in baseball, and my forehand in Tennis? When perfected will be something to be reckoned with.

I won't lie. I still hurt and feel ragged inside. But I'm meant to persist and soI do...I'm coming around. It's just slow going, perhaps.

Posted by Maxxie @ 4:14 am EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments

Healing Time

I owe a bunch of individual responses but I'm slow on everythign right now, so at minimum I want to say thank you to all of you for your thoughts. I am so honored (and surprised) that you think enough of me to share them. I know that might read like sunshine blowing (), but I mean it, I really am. They are really appreciated and the goodwill does help.

Tomorrow are services for my father with honors (he's war a veteran) and then I think now after all the planning, obit writing, and the rest of the things that come with these events the grieving and healing can truly come into motion.

Last night I picked up an old game I've loved since the first time I ever turned it on (The Longest Journey) and began to play because I just couldn't sleep. I let the puzzles and story take me away for a while. It's the first game I've touched in...I don't know when. But it's as enjoyable as I remembered, it is good, it is a breather for me right now. I'll be quiet overall a bit longer here, but I'll be around and back to my gaming swagger again I just feel...a lot right now and I don't want to spill it all over here and get all messy. And I can't quite cock my head believably confident at the moment and I don't have the energy yet to fake it - if this makes sense to anyone. Imagine if we played poker right now, my eyes would give the truth away and I'd be broke and you'd be rich....so, no poker for me. I just need a little more time and I'm taking it.

I hope you are doing well. If you went to the LAN event in Chicago I really hope that kicked ass too. In fact, feel free to tell me about it in comments I am considering attending maybe next year (finances willing), if you think it's worth it? .

Thanks for looking.

M-

Posted by Maxxie @ 11:04 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

Today...

On this beautiful, sunny, morning my dad passed away.

Posted by Maxxie @ 4:13 pm EDT | Permalink | 19 Comments

My Time Keeps On Slipping...

Long time no read!

Things have been hard in my section of the world (I know things are hard for everyone - this isn't a pity plea, just an update). Parent slipped into coma first part of this month. Came out of it with complications the second part - Is now fighing for life. I must say my gaming inclinations and ambitions - my gaming swagger - have paused. Even as an escape I can't quite get there - something new for me, to be sure. But I'm still here, I still intend to post more updates at some point and continue to share my love of games with other game passionate people. No matter what's going to happen, I'll return more frequently - I'm a gamer girl at heart. I just can't in good conscious clutter this blog with my current day-to-day reality since it's such a stressful, sad place. All of my gaming metaphors would liken to the bleeps and blorts of the machines hooked up to my parent, to some game in my head and I just don't want that association to last. I want this little e-place to be energetic, positive, fun and games - reflecting some of the facets of one of my deepest passions. But I'm here, I'm lurking when I can and I'm thinking well of all of you.

If you have positive thoughts to spare I don't need them as much as my mom and dad right now. And thoughts for them would be a thought for me.

Thanks for Looking.

M-

Posted by Maxxie @ 6:27 pm EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments