Absolutely pathetic

This is the shittiest, most pathetic story I can remember reading in recent memory.

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27996349/

This story makes me so angry I literally want to hit something. F-ing pathetic loser a-holes. Trampling a person to get into a G D store and buy a f-king TV set. How much of a lowlife do you have to be to STEP ON SOMEONE and keep running into the store without stopping to help?

Fuck humanity. Seriously, right now I wish a burning ball of fire would just obliterate this f-g planet. I know there are worse stories out there, and more tragic ones, but really. A fu-g SALE! A SALE ON FU-ING CHEAP SHIT! And you're going to push into the doors of a store to the point you crumple the -king metal doors?

I wish there was a way they could track down and arrest every piece of shit motherfuc-g waste of existence that participated in that f-ery, and line them up against a wall and shoot them. The end.

Macy's

I have been watching the Macy's Parade this morning for like 1/2 hour and as usual I have some observations.

What the hell do they put on the Rockettes' faces to make them look so damn surprised? There is no way someone could contort their face in that way for that long. One of the women looked positively horrified from the lips up, yet she was smiling. Those poor, poor women.

'Sponsored by Citibank--Citi. We Never Sleep'. Whatever, assholes.

'The Clique Girls'--WTF? How many of these 12 year old slut-in-training groups are there?

Fayetteville High School Marching Band--they actually had shoes on. Carnival Angel, you lied to me!

And finally--I saw a commercial for some reality show where these dudes have to pick a girlfriend from all these hot chicks. But their MOM is on the show fucking things up. Really? Is this what people want to see? If you watch that show, fuck you. Fuck you for promoting such shitty shit and fuckery. I can overlook survivor or even the bachelor--shows like that. But this shit is so OBVIOUSLY contrived, if I ever meet a person who says they watch this show--they will be dead to me.

edit: I noticed two things after I posted that blog. ONe:  Rick Astley sang 'Never Gonna Give You Up' and the announcer actually called it the Rick Roll Theme. Two: Who the hell thought it would be in good family holiday spirits to have some chick sing a song about taking off her lingerie and dressing up wearing only her man's t-shirt? What the fuck?

Christmas tree

This blog is probably boring to anyone not me, so read at your own risk.

This year the girlfriend wanted to get a new christmas tree. I guess the 12-year old 5-footer that I've been using ever since I bought my own place just isn't up to her standards. Plus I'm sure there's that whole 'now we live together so we need a tree for us, not your old one'. So we got a new one from Costco on Friday. Of course, since we bought it, for some reason we HAD to put it up immediately. Which is weird for me--I have always done the tree the day after Thanksgiving, since I always have the day off and, well it's not really Christmas time until after Thanksgiving. But, I guess it's time for new traditions. Again, the whole 'we live together now' thing.

So she wanted new ornaments, since the tree is bigger.  I have always been partial to those collectible ones at the hallmark store.  Way back in the day when I was just a young lad, my mom used to buy us one every year and it kind of stuck with me. I also have a bunch of really old ones she gave me that they bought when I was 2 years old, because she claims I took all the glass ball ornaments off the tree and broke them one day, so she had to go buy a whole bunch of soft ornaments. So my ornament collection is pretty crazy. I am going to list some of my favorite ornaments here. I wish I had photos, maybe I will take one of the tree tonight.

--the ones she bought when I was two: a green angel with crazy green hair and a pointy, glitter-covered hat, a completely misshapen h-shaped body, and ugly as hell. A clown marionette with a round styrofoam head, the back half of the head looks like someone took a bite out of it,  probably a team of moths or termites. A plastic candy-cane soldier whose glued-on facial features are completely gone. Plus the thing is so fragile I am afraid to even breathe on it. This is my favorite ornament ever. Also two tennis balls made up to look like cat heads, with various pieces falling off.

--an entire collection of small reindeer hallmark ornaments, one per year from '86 until whenever. Each reindeer is dressed for a different sport.

--The ones that light up: Klingon Bird-of-Prey, Shuttle Defiant, one of the enterprises, and the Voyager

--A Stormtrooper, R2D2 and Jawa, Bones in the Transporter, Spock at his science station,  Elvis in a gold Lame suit that plays 'Santa bring my baby back to me' and a huge Elvis jukebox that plays Blue Christmas, the deck of the Enterprise that plays Khan quotes from the movie, etc etc

So when we went to the hallmark store, I found a whole shitload of new cool ones.  They actually have, and I bought, a wooden crate that opens to reveal The Leg Lamp from 'A Christmas Story' and when you press the button it says 'Ragile....that must be italian! Honey, I think it says 'fragile'.  I also got an Indiana Jones ornament, and one that is a small replica of an original Pac-Man machine that plays the tune and the sounds from the game when you push the button. The chick picked out an ornament of the Simpsons watching Itchy & Scratchy on TV that plays the itchy & scratchy theme song, and a chicken with an accordion that plays the chicken dance.

Does anyone else have such a ridiculous tree or is it just me? My favorite ornament ever that wasn't mine was on a high school friend's family tree back in the day: at one point they had made shrinky dink ornaments with the whole family and one was a fairly intricate manger scene that my friend had taken a lot of time and effort to color in. When they shrunk it, all the colors and shapes ran together and it was just a small plastic blob. They named it, 'It Came Upon a Midnight Black'.

Roaches

Here's the debate that has been raging in my office today. Any entomologists or insectologists or whatever feel free to chime in here. It's been one of those hotly contested debates with co-workers raising voices, going to the internet for all sorts of conflicting information, and causing hurt feelings and resentment that will certainly cause a sting for days to come.

Sewer roaches--or palmetto bugs or WTF they are called. Do they come up through your drain into your sink, or do they go from inside your house down into the sink to find water? I cannot even tell you the various debates and points of view, all the 'what if' situations and 'how could they possibly know...', all the discussions of P-traps and water evaporation, etc. etc.

One guy just called the City of Mesa to find out. He's the guy who found the bug in his sink yesterday. Turns out when he asked the lady if they come from the sewer through the pipes, her answer was 'probably'. But then she said they'd send someone out to spray the manholes in the area, so I guess he came out ahead. Unless of course, spraying the manhole covers forces the roaches back into the sewer, where they come up through the pipes in greater numbers....oy vey.

Stereotypin's bad, mkay?

Oh man. I have to post an excerpt from an article I just read.

TRENTON, N.J. (Nov. 19) - Online dating service eHarmony said Wednesday it will launch a new Web site which caters to same-sex singles as part of a discrimination settlement with New Jersey's Civil Rights Division.

The settlement is the result of a complaint New Jersey resident Eric McKinley filed against the online matchmaker in 2005. McKinley, 46, said he was shocked when he tried to sign up for the dating site but couldn't get past the first screen because there was no option for men seeking men. "It's very frustrating and it's very humiliating to think that other people can do it and I can't," he said. "And the only reason I can't is because I'm a gay man. That's very hurtful." Neither the company nor its founder, Neil Clark Warren, acknowledged any liability. Under the settlement, eHarmony will pay New Jersey state division $50,000 to cover administrative costs and will pay McKinley $5,000. McKinley called the settlement "fabulous" and said he was happy with the outcome. He's considering signing up for the new site once it launches.

That last line is awesome. If you want to read the whole article it's at www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27821393/