Crazy Neighbor

So I have this Lady that lives across the street from me that is one of those Hick desperate housewife types, she likes to go out and wash her huge ass truck in a bikini. So anyway I have someone ring my doorbell yesterday, I open the door and I hear her ask if she can talk to me for a second, I go out and close the door behind me becasue I know even when she is happy she has a case of foul mouth diarrehea and I didnt want my kids to hear it. So I am standing there and she procedes to tell me that she is tierd of my dog shitting on her f'n yard.........I stand there in wonder for a moment for two reason 1.) my dog is always tied up unless the kids accidently let him out which in all honesty doesnt really happen that often, they are getting better about watching for him. 2.) My dog is one of at least a dozen small dogs in the neighborhood, how could she possibly know that every piece of shit in her yard is my dog's? I then proceed to tell her that yes some of it could possibly be stitch's but not all of it becasue he is tied up except on the rare ocassion that he gets out. she cuts me off and proceeds to yell so I calmly ask her to please let me finish my sentence, she refuses throw's a few foul words my way and proceeds to tell me my dog shits in their shoes. Um no, first of all we leave our shoes by our front door and he has NEVER shit in them EVER, secondly that is a cat trick -- and she has three cats and thirdy what the kinda people leave their shoes outside anyway. So she then proceeds to tell me that she is going to call the cops, I laughed and told her to call the cops. Needless to say she must have realized how crazy she sounded and not called or maybe she did call and they laughed at her but either way I never got a visit from the cops.

Oh, just a funny side note, we can't leave or garage door open for any length of time unless we are standing in it becasue he son's com over and steal my kids bike, scooters and toys outta the garage. I can't tell you how many times I have caught her kids riding my kids bikes around the neighborhood...LOL!

P.S. Even though the door was closed my kids heard her yelling at me an the foul words that came outta her mouth. When I went inside my 4yo said mommy I dont want the police to come arrest you and take you away, I laughed and said that isnt going to happen baby!