I got attacked by a fork

So tonight I have two gory stories to share. The first is not too bad, but the other I need to warn anyone who is the least bit squeamish. We are talking immediate vomit inducing type of story, so read on only if you dare. Perhaps I should have people sign something so I don't get sued.

I've never thought of forks as dangerous (unless of course you run with one held prongs-up with your shoe strings untied) until this past weekend. I was carrying a paper plate of food, barefooted, and the fork slipped off the plate. Can you guess what happened? It pitchforked my big toe leaving three evenly spaced bleeding puncture wounds. Now that is bad luck. It must have fallen at a perfect perpendicular angle to the floor for this to happen. Needless to say...OUCH!

Okay, are you ready for the really gross story? This was either in the New Yorker or New York Times, so it's one hundred percent true. This girl had a horribly itchy head for months and months and could not figure out what was wrong with her. Doctors theorized that it was a brain dysfunction that caused the constant itching--a signal of sorts that had gone haywire. It grew so bad she began to lose hair and would wake up with blood on her pillow from all the scratching all night. Well, one night she woke up with her pillow all wet.....it was brain fluid and brains. She had scratched straight through her skull in her sleep. The idea that this is even possible is incredible to me. I suppose it's not any different that the ocean slowly eroding away a cliff over time. Months of itching had warn away at the bone. Told ya it was bad, but interesting non-the-less. I'll be scratching my head with a lot more care from now on.

I love Family Guy so I'll end this with a clip: