Hunting Trip-How it really happened!!

1:00AM- Alarm clock goes off.

2:00AM- Hunting buddies arrive, drag you out of bed.

2:30AM-Throw everything not bolted down in the pickup.

3:00AM- Leave for the Deep Woods.

3:15AM- Drive back home to get gun.

3:30AM- Drive like Hell to get to the woods before daylight.

4:00AM- Set up camp, forgot tent.

4:30AM-Head into the woods.

6:05AM- See 8 deer.

6:06AM- Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6:07AM- Load gun while watching deer go over hill.

8:00AM- Head back to camp.

9:00AM- Still looking for camp.

10:00AM- Realize you don't know where camp is.

NOON- Fire gun for help, eat wild berries.

12:10PM- Run out of bullets.

12:15PM- 8 deer come back.

12:20PM- Strange feeling in stomach.

12:30PM- Realized you ate poison berries

12:45PM- Rescued!

12:55PM- Rushed to ER to have stomach pumped.

3:00PM- Arrive back in camp.

3:30PM- Leave camp to kill deer.

4:00PM- Return to camp to steal buddies extra bullets.

4:01PM- Load gun and leave camp again.

5:00PM- Empty gun on annoying bird.

6:00PM- Arrive at camp, see deer grazing at camp.

6:01PM- Load gun.

6:02PM- Fire gun.

6:03PM- One dead picup truck.

6:05PM- Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.

6:06PM- Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner.

6:15PM- Take truck, leave partner and his deer in the woods.

6:25PM- Truck boils over, bullet hole in block.

6:26PM- Start walking

6:30PM- Stumble & fall, drop gun in mud.

6:35PM- Meet Bear.

6:36PM- Take aim.

6:37PM- Fire gun, barrel explodes(plugged with mud)

6:38PM- #@!%$ pants.

6:39PM- Climb tree.

9:00PM- Bear departs- Wrap !#@$@!$ gun around tree.

MIDNIGHT- Home at last.

Posted by DragoonTamer on Wed Mar 7, 2007 @ 11:32 am EDT | 0 Comments