Bored shitless...5:50am Sunday morn...

I was perusing through peoples blogs, and decided I would finally stop by mine and drone off some bored thoughts. Ever just sit there at times, looking out a window, and there isn't particularly anything going on, but your mind races at like 100 mph and shit? I thought I would jot down some of this shit, because you never know...it may just be a formula to cure a disease, or stop world hunger, or maybe, just maybe, might wake up my wife so she will fix a pot of coffee so I don't have to. Cripes I'm a seriously lazy fuck anymore. How hard is it to make a pot of coffee. Let's see...water: check. Filter: check. Coffee: checkarooni. Ok, now here's the part I hate...we buy beans, not pre-ground shit, so I gotta dump so many beans in the shredder/grinder/finger remover, grind the poor bastards into dust, then CAREFULLY (wife tells me like this...CAREFULLY OK? CARRRRRRREFULLY...almost....YOU ASSHOLE,..YOU JUST DUMPED GROUNDS PAST THE FILTER, GET THE FUCK AWAY, I'LL FINISH! Of course, I did that on purpose, so she thinks I'm a dolt who can't even make coffee correctly, so she always does it. Ok, back to laziness...so then ya dump the water in, and turn it on. Cripes, that's serious fuckin work if you ask me baby. I hate makin it. Why? No fucking clue. It takes literally seconds, yet seems like hours. WTF has happened to me? Oh yea, I'm lazy. I admit it, and those who don't...yer fuckin' either lying, or your one of those uber clean types, which of course I wish I had married one of those to pick up after me.

Hell, I aint dissin my wife, she does good for me, but of course, if I ask her to vaccuum, she wants me to bleed dust from my ass in 50 pound loads or some shit before she breaks out that fuckin machine. Out of all the chores around the house, why she hates vaccuuming so much is beyond me. You don't get dirty, the damn thing has a motor so ya don't have to push it with force (at least hers (well...ours, heh) does, not all of them of course, but you knew that too didn't ya asshat? Don't get pissy with me k?) And it even has a cool headlight helping you find all those little crumbs and shit nuggets your family kindly leaves behind on the fuckin floor. Sounds almost like a fuckin theme park ride eh? I guess her (well...ours, heh) vaccuum, is my coffee. Fuckin makin coffee sucks.

Wait, this was about boredom, and since I went and took a break (wiz) and came back to this, I'll get back on subject. Ok, things goin through my head a while ago, as I was staring out the window. Now these may seem like rantings or some shit, but in all seriousness, I was just grooving to myself thinking about random shit. Ok, here goes nuttin.

Peanut Butter on crackers or toast, what is better, 'cause I'm hungry, and that's easy. Window's pretty dirty, better tell the wife. My right shoe seems a bit tight (I look at it awhile) these shoes are fuckin lame, how much did they cost, I got goinked...fuckin shoe salesman. I need some aspirin, but I don't want that fuckin taste this early in the morning. Goddamn back is killin me, fuck. Meds time, I'll get 'em in a bit. I wonder if we have aspirin still. What the fuck is aspirin made from? Who in the fuck discovered that this white shit would heal pain? Did he just eat a fuckin mouthful and say, goddamn, this shit helps pain! Hungry still, got some pizza, but it's all old and dry and shit. I like pizza even when it's old and dry. I seriously need some food, I didn't eat dinner. I bet that bird fuckin shits on my car. The crow scared him away, heheh, that was funny, damn shittin on my car wannabe fuckin bird. Crow left, birds back. Fuckin bird. Fuckin bird looks all diseased and shit. Man that's one fucked up lookin robin. I wish I had my pellet gun. Bird got a bug or worm. Oh shit, gross, it squish ate that fucker. I'm not hungry anymore. I need some meds, bad. Aspirin too. Who named aspirin anyway? That's a stupid fuckin name for that shit. I woulda called it "painaway" or some easy shit like that. I seriously hate the fuck who named aspirin now. Was that dude's name Lord Aspirin Aspercreme or some shit? Stupid fuckin asshole. T-shirt needs changing. Burnt a hole in it tonight. Burnt through to my chest. Fuckin hurt like a bitch. Hahaha I need a smokers bib. Fuckin bird is grossin me out, it ate something worm like, and it looked like string shit. I hope that fucker gets a damn attack from it just so I have something to watch other than it feeding on gross shit. I seriously wish I had my pellet gun. Bird left, didn't shit on my car, but dropped a load on my lawn. I'll probably step on that spot later, barefooted. Fuck, I seriously want that bird off the planet. Shitting on my lawn, damn I am seriously not hungry now. I hate birds. STOP!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I know that seemed like a lotta shit, but that was only like 3 minutes of my morning. At least I turned on the puter for a bit, and I'm not bored anymore. I could seriously use an aspirin and my meds though, so until next time dear readers...lates.

PUN

Thought of the day: If you are a smoker, do you wish you could smoke in your sleep?

PS. I'm not gonna edit this, so if there are misspellings and f'd up vocab, tough shit.