Volunteer Work

So we just had an issue within our clan regarding a post someone had made as a joke, and it involved a picture of a kid with down syndrome.  Needless to say, there was some less than reputable responses regarding the way people act towards special needs kids.   Several clan members took offense to this, as they had some background with family members who have certain problems. 

Let me start by saying, I'm no angel.  I, myself, have been guilty of laughing at inappropriate times.   I even said in my post, that it's hard not to giggle at them sometimes.  And alot of people are in the same boat. But I'm not too fond of it when people throw around the "retard" term, and subject them to ridicule.  I've worked with kids that are disabled for the past few years, and it's been an incredible rewarding experience.

The thing is, these kids just want to be given the opportunity to do some of the same things we take advantage of.  They have to live life just like you and me, and they were dealt a far shittier hand.  Hang out with them for one day, and your perception will change.  Sure, some of them bite and spit and fight and hug too much, but so do alot of you.  So they deserve to be treated just like you. And believe me, they will laugh their asses off at you if you do something stupid.  I busted my ass last year at the Fall Festival playing catch with a football, and one kid could barely breathe he was laughing so hard at me.

It's not an easy thing to do people, but it's one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had.  It's difficult, I won't lie to you. It's crazy the first time you go to a Special Olympics event.  I compared it to "a zoo full of crazy monkeys" in my post.  But once you get in there and hang out with these kids, it's amazing.  Watch them work their hearts out to train and compete.  Watch how happy they are when they win and how pissed they are when they lose. Most of them are pretty happy just to be participating.

So I urge all of you to take some of your spare time and volunteer to help these kids.  Actually, just volunteer in general.   Per the request of myself and a few others at my company, we started a non-profit organization called KeaneCARES (Community Assistance and Relief Efforts).  Our company backs it financially, but myself and seven others run it.  It's rewarding and alot of fun.  Also, if you are in the Philly area, and want to volunteer, Villanova runs a Fall Festival for the benefit of the Special Olympics every year.  Special Olympics for PA has a summer event too, but I'm not sure where it is this year. 

Here's the link to the site:

http://specialolympics.villanova.edu/

I'm not going to say individuals names here.  But to those in the clan that have relatives and loved ones that deal with this everyday, if my response to the initial post came off harsh in anyway, I apologize.  But I want people to know that these kids deserve to be treated the same as everyone else, not catagorized as a "mongoloid" or "retard".  That, my friends, is where the line gets crossed.  I only hope that me helping now can make up for my past.

Random Thought Of The Day

Would someone please, for the SAKE OF ALL HUMANITY, take the fat suit away from Eddie Murphy!!!

American Idon't

I honestly don't understand the "phenomenon" that is American Idol.  I get the fact that the first few weeks are a train wreck.  I like watching fatties and white trash make jackasses of themselves just as much as the next person.  But I'm not even going to tune into that, unless it gets to Jerry Springer-like proportions.  When some twit goes berzerk and smashes Simon in the face with a chair, then I'll be watching.  But this isn't even the part of the show that bugs me the most.

I don't think you should be placed into the status of celebrity just because you can sing Whitney Houston really well.   American Idol is basically a glorified version of karaoke, people!!!  Am I the only one who realizes this!?!  It's karaoke without the alcohol, and that's what makes karaoke enjoyable in the first place. It seriously would be more entertaining to have a show where people get drunk at a bar and try to sing Buffett.  I'm totally pitching this to CBS.

I certainly don't think that our celebrity selection process should start with the opinions of the Chipmunks - Abdul, Simon and Theodore, and end by letting the American people vote on it.  This is the worst idea ever.  We're gonna let the "next great singer" be selected by the same people that put Bush into office?!?!  More people vote for American Idol than vote in the Presidential Election anyway, which is f**ked up on so many levels, that if you try to figure it out, your nose will start to bleed.

You really want to pick someone in music to idolize?  Get someone up there that actually writes their own music.  Find someone who plays an instrument, or a band that's been stuck playing their own music in a dive bar for the past five years.  Get someone who marches in Drum Corp to show you what real talent looks like.  If you are going to stand up there and sing a cover song, at least twirl a flaming baton or something.  Even if the winners of this show do end up putting out an album, it usually sucks ass, and they fade into obscurity, just going to show what a colossal waste of time the whole process is.  I think the only one that has sustained any sort of career is Kelly Clarkson, and even she should be loaded into a rocket and fired into the sun.

So thank you, American Idol, for lowering the collective IQ of our nation a few points every winter.  My only hope is that one day, Jack Bauer accidentaly gets lost on your set and, fearing for his life, decides to tear all your throats out with his teeth, so you can never sing another god-forsaken note again.

When we are watching football, I don't need to see your penis.

I honestly feel the previous statement should go without saying. When I go to someones house to watch a game, it shouldn't be necessary for me to proclaim, "Listen fellas, I think it would be nice to not have to see anyones dick during the game. Actually, lets just keep dicks out of the equation for the entirety of my time here this evening." Apparently, this is not the case. My buddy Lenny did not get the memo. Let me explain......no, it is too much. Let me sum up.

Being that I live in Philly, most of my friends are rampant Eagles fans. I, myself, am not. I am a die hard Steelers fan. But being the nice guy that I am, I will root for the Eagles when I'm with my friends, and have actually grown to know quite a bit about the team and enjoy watching the games. We usually watch football at my house, for a couple of reasons. I have a nice set up: Wall mounted Plasma TV, HD cable, surround sound, 360, etc. It's a good atmosphere for the games. Secondly, I live alone, so there are no wife/girlfriend background conversations about babies, General Hospital, vaginal issues, stickers, or whatever the hell it is you talk about while I'm tuning you out to try to pay attention to what's going on with the game. I apologize for the women who enjoy football, you rock and I am fine watching the games with girls who actually WATCH THE GAMES. Unfortunately, the women involved in my circle of friends do not fall into this category. Regardless, my home was not the destination this weekend.

It has now come to light that my house is blackballed for important Eagles games. They lost the Super Bowl in '04 when we watched it at my house, and they lost to the Saints earlier in the season at my house. My superstitious friends decided that they didn't want to chance it (of course, they didn't make mention of the 6-7 games that they won when we watched it at my house, but whatever) So we go to my buddy Lenny's house.

I don't know if anyone else has friends like this, but if Lenny were a chemical compound, he would be Nitroglycerin. Highly unstable, and his reaction to certain situations could be anwhere from neutral to extremely volitile. You just never know. He is also an Eagles season ticket holder, and as anyone will tell you, Eagles fans are f**king insane. But we were in his home, with his wife and guests, so I expect him to be on his best behavior. And for the most part, he was. Until the Eagles scored.

The Eagles are losing 3-0 and generally look like shit on offense. Then out of nowhere, Garcia uncorks a bomb to Donte Stallworth down the middle of the field. We're all going nuts, screaming at the TV as he runs in untouched for the 75 yard TD. As I turn around to start handing out high-fives, I see that Lenny is jumping up and down....pants around his ankles, dick flapping. What was once a moment of joy is now a moment of utter terror. People are running out of the room screaming things like "OH GOD NO!!" and "WHY!!?!?!" as Lenny is pulling his pants up. He's only statement is, "Sorry, I got excited." Unfortunately, this is all I see now when I close my eyes. It's horrifying on 100 different levels.

So, take with you today this bit of advice. If you are going to someone elses house to watch the championship games this weekend, remember to proclaim as soon as you walk in the door, "I do not wish to see anyone's dick today." Unless, you want to see some dicks during the game. If that's the case, then you are either a whore or you are a clan member of 2Old4Tactics. Or both.

New Years Resolutions - The Final Struggle

#2 - I resolve to quit drinking

• Why it's a good idea - This one is pretty tough. I think the writing may be on the wall though. When your friends have used your name to develop an adjective to describe an evening of boozing at astronomical proportions (Hence my gamertag: ALLKEVDUP, as in - Hey man, did you go out and get all Kev'd up last night?) then something is wrong. ALLKEVDUP falls somewhere between complete and utter intoxication and hospitilization. Let me give you an example - I went to a happy hour after work on a friday for a person who was leaving our company. Said person was rather popular, so alot of people from the company were there. I was busy that day and had only eaten a yogurt for lunch. I decide to pound Jack and Coke's the second I walk in the bar. Needless to say, I was later found hugging the toilet by my boss and a few others, muttering things like "I have to shit!" and throwing wild haymakers at phantom protagonists. It took 4 people to carry me out of the bar and drive me to a friends house to crash. I had already given my keys to someone else, so I was surprised to find a set of keys in my pocket the next morning. They turned out to be.....my bosses. My friend explains that once they had gotten me onto the couch, my boss realized he didn't have his keys. After searching unsuccessfully, he had to get a ride home and get his car the next day. To this day no one knows how the hell I got my hands on his keys...let alone how I kept my job. It also causes you to bring home some less than reputable females. To quote Dane Cook, "When you look down and realize you're f**king Skeletor....." That's what ALLKEVDUP is all about. It's like Fergilicious, except not nearly as damaging to the brain.
• Why I'm not changing - I honestly have toned it down quite a bit. Much to my friends dismay, I don't get like that too often anymore. At least not in public, and definitely not in front of people I work with. But I hardly think it is wrong to get drunk, as long as you aren't driving (far). I'm certainly not past getting lit by myself in the comfort of my own home either. Honestly, I go out maybe twice a month, and when I do I like to have a Vodka Tonic or seven. I deserve it after a hard days work, dammit. I just make sure I do it on a full stomach. So take your intervention and shove it up your ass.

#1 - I resolve to play less Video Games

• Why it's a good idea - I'm 30 years old. My girlfriend gives me stank face everytime I pick up the controller when "America's Next Top Model" is on (Actually, anytime I pick up the controller, now that I think about it). My gamerscore is higher than my entire clans collective IQ. I've broken more controllers than I can remember. I spend an abnoxious amount of money on games I don't like, don't beat, or never play, and then trade them in for 1/4 of the value. Punk ass 12 year olds kick my ass endlessly online and I find myself swearing at their existence as I fall asleep at night. I don't like that I'm coming up with so many compelling arguments.
• Why I'm not changing -
  • Me: "There's three TV's in this house, if you want to watch this crap, go watch it in the other room."
  • Girlfriend (batting eyes and attempting to look cute): "But I want to watch TV with you."
  • Me: "But I hate this f**king show. If we watch TV together, I ain't watching this shit."

This conversation happens ALL THE TIME when my girl is around, and I ALWAYS win. You know why....because there is some sort of gaming device in every room in my home, so she can't escape it. So even if I do cave to her demands, she has to sleep sometime, somewhere...and then it's on. I honestly don't watch TV that much, at least not TV shows. I can count maybe 6 or 7 shows I try not to miss (24, Simpsons, Family Guy, Lost, Heros, South Park, My Name is Earl). Everything else I'll TIVO, or I'm watching sports (see #4). So my super expensive plasma TV is getting used for GAMES. I grew up on video games. I've loved games ever since my spoiled ass cousin got Combat on Atari (I showed him - I got Nintendo before he did). I got the Master Sword before I got laid (which may have alot to do with why it took me a while to get laid). I'll always play games, or at least I'll try. So why am I not changing? F**k you. That's why.