Rashanii's Blog - 2old2play

Cheap Marketplace Points from Target? Yes, Please!

From MaxCon over at Powet.tv:

From the 25th to the 31st, Target has 1600 MS points cards on sale for $14.99 as opposed to $19.99.

Using the following, you can get $5 1600 point MS cards from Target until the 31st, $10 after that until the 9th of June.

Step 1: Print this coupon, as many as you want: http://lh5.ggpht.com/oxidative/SCuwJ...jpg?imgmax=512
Step 2: Go to Target and grab as many 1600 point cards as you have coupons.

Step 3: Go to the FRONT checkOUT, not ELECTRONICS and look for somebody dumb looking to ring you through.

Step 4: Success!

Now, I say front chellout and not electronics as the coupon states that it's $10 off any Xbox 360 software, while I think points cards fall under accessories. Electronics employees are probably more inclined to catch the technicality. Better safe than sorry.

Note: Also, expect to have a handful of supervisors called over to verify if the coupon is legitimate.

Double note: Any Xbox 360 item $10 and under is also FREE with one of these coupons, so you could buy some shitty $9.99 game or download slip and buy a pack of gum, and only pay for the gum. I got UMK3 this way.

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I did this this afternoon. Walked out of Target with 32,000 points for 109 dollars. Also got a rechargeable battery for 1.99.

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[3 Comments]

The Off Topic Gamer's Podcast Forgehub Map Reviews

Endurocross 3 by The Offroad Dude- This map was a cluttered mess. As soon as you go through the first tunnel, you immediately run into rooms that are full of obstacles that either flip your mongoose, or get your mongoose stuck. Every player in the room that I was in got their mongoose stuck on a barrier and had to melee it off to move on. I was unable to finish the race, and the people in my party didn't finish, either. If a race starts, and no one finishes, did a race actually happen?

Grade- D

Speedway, by C U L8er- Times like this, I wish I had a red turtle shell. This map reminded me of the Baby Race on Super Mario Kart: Double Dash, except without anything in it. The only things that this map has in it are the barriers to keep you on track. Adding a hill, an obstacle, or anything of variance would have boosted this maps score considerably. As it is…

Grade- C

New York City- NEW YORK CITY! GET THE ROPE! Sorry about that. Whenever I think of New York City, I always thought of Pace Picante sauce. No longer. This map is dark and gritty. It is grimy and grungy. The object of this map and gametype, Undercover Mafia, is a variant of Team Swat. You don't know who your teammates are, because you are all invisible, and no one has a waypoint above their heads. Even if someone shoots, revealing them, you still can't tell your teammates apart from the rest, because everyone is the same color armor. Black. I spent many games just skulking around maps, following people until I tired of it and killed them. In the middle of the map, there is a yellow custom power-up that bestows the person who obtained it a 10 second radar, and a waypoint so that their teammates know where they are. It is also noted that you only have 2 lives, so you need to be sure to not just go in pistols blazing, because not only will betrayals happen often, but you WILL die.

Everyone in the parties I was in raved about this game, and loved every single nuance of it. In fact, so many people asked who made it that I almost was tempted to take credit for it. I didn't, but I was tempted. Aquablade, take a bow. You have just created a masterpiece. I will be playing this one for months to come.

Grade- A

A couple of featured maps that I played and have to give props to were Kentucky Tango, by Furious D 18, Tie Hangar V2, by Rusty Eagle, and H3 Foundation, by Shock Theta.

I generally want to review the more obscure maps on the forums, but these were sublime.

Kentucky Tango was a map that the folks from 2o2p really enjoyed. They said that the balance of the map was well done, and that the accessibility was good. I enjoyed the pleasure I got from getting on top of the suspension bridge for the first time. I didn't enjoy the target that was placed on my back once I got there. This map has the qualities of a champion. I place it in very high regard.

Tie Hangar V2 was aesthetically pleasing to me, and I was actually staggered when I first glimpsed the Tie Fighter on the map. I don't even want to venture a guess of how long it took to get that put together. Once inside the Fighter, though, you are pretty much screwed because once you are in there, you have small areas with big weapons, like the rocket launcher. Big weapons + small areas = large explosions. Large explosions + small areas = everyone dies. Including the holder of the weapon. I really would like to try the map with a neutral capture the flag game, with the flag in the middle section of the inside of the Tie Fighter. Rusty Eagle, get at me about that.

H3 Foundation: I'm taking it back to the old school, cause I'm an old fool who's so cool… Sorry about that. Shots out to Tag Team. I see you. I love this map. Period. I loved it on Halo 2, and I love it now. The simple nostalgia that you will feel at the beginning of the game alone makes this map worth downloading. The ONLY thing that anyone in my party said about this map that was critical is that we would widen out the corner spawn point areas. They were a bit cramped. Shock Theta, great job. I had a blast on this one, and if you can ever do Ascension, I would give you an autographed copy of my right kidney.

I still don't have a name for this portion, and if anyone has suggestions, please, let me know. Email me at Rashanii1@yahoo.com if you have any comments, or go to the facebook page of The Off Topic Gamers, become a fan, and get at me there. Peeeeas OUT!

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Haven0t.com

Dear Lord:

Thank you for the food we are about to receive. Bless those who have, and bless those who have not. Amen.

My walk with God has been strong, but it has been stronger, and lately, I've been wanting more. Not from him, because he gives me everything I need, but more from myself. I want to be more receptive to his word, and more open to go where he is leading me. Sunday morning at church, my pastor was preaching a wonderful sermon. After he was finished with his message, he asked the elders of the church to come to the front and that any member who wanted healing could come to the front. I prayed for a better understanding of when God was speaking to me, and also to be less stubborn and go where he was sending me.

That evening, my children were praying over their dinner, as we always do. The prayer that they prayed was

"Dear Lord:

Thank you for the food we are about to receive. Bless those who have, and bless those who have not. Amen."

I have heard this prayer many times over the past two years, and before, I just went on with business as usual. But this evening, I had a thought. This thought could have only come from God. This thought was:

How?

How do we bless those who have not?

I asked my children this question, and they gave some great answers, like feeding them, and giving them shelter. If I have the opportunity to do the latter, I definitely will, I try and do the former whenever I can.

The way that I would like to help those who have not is to give what I do have. I am going to gather as many blankets and coats as I possibly can, and then this November, I am going to go downtown and donate them to the homeless. I am also going to deposit money into an account every payday, and in November, take that money and buy food gift cards and donate them as well. When I say donate, I don't mean stop off at the Salvation Army and drop them off, either. I mean I want to go to the streets, where the homeless are laying with no shelter, and give it to them directly. I want to give to them who have not. And I want you to help.

I am going to start up a charity called Have Not. I will need help building the website, because I know nothing of building websites on a large scale. I have done the little lycos pages, but nothing significant. This will be an opportunity for people around the country to give some relief to the homeless.

I don't know when the site will be up, and I don't know how successful it will be. I just know that I will be doing the best that I can to help out those who Have Not.

[1 Comments]

Quite possibly the coolest thing I have seen...

It takes a lot to awe me. This is truly awe inspiring.

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2cYWfq--Nw

[1 Comments]

Indian Thriller

Awesome, in a train wreck sort of way.

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRNyPK-lc

[2 Comments]

Signs I Wish I Could Put Up At Work

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[1 Comments]

Tech Support

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeS*xPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboSigh and Multi-Whine. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which cannot be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems.

A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please

Reply1: With Wife1.0 you usually end with Kids2.4.
This really uses all your resources and by the time you finish paying for it your system is obsolete !!!

Reply 2:Thank you for contacting our support team with your concerns.

We want you to be happy with your programs, so please consider your options carefully...

Here is one Simple fix...

Run WifeKiller1.0, but first be protected by Legal advice 2.0 to avoid installing LifeInJail 4.evr.

When this combo is properly executed, you can then avoid the need to run such programs by installing SexSlave 2.0.

When running SexSlave, be sure to avoid "beta" releases, as they often come with Statutory Rape1.0 and I'mPregnant1.0 and ChildSupport4life.exe.

It is also strongly advised that some protection is used, since there are many viruses in many of these program.

We at support team wish you luck in cleaning you system, and please try to avoid suicide 1.0, or any of the suicide attempt versions, as they are linked to other hostile programs like State Mental Hospital.exe, and Meds4life.org.

Regards,

Support team

[1 Comments]

Why God Made Moms

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like
me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such
a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under
the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than
dad.

What's the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at
work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the
back of her head.

Happy Mother's Day!

[2 Comments]

Long Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? are you crazy??" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."

[2 Comments]

Online Piracy PSA Spoof

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXR4T8xVFdw

best of Stewie

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOpBCw4gNTs

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Good sign!

'If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.' Chris Rock

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Misrepresented People...

You know, a while back, a member by the name of Exodus ran through 2o2p spouting about how few black developers there are in video games. He also spouted lots of other rhetoric and was banned. I didn't really even think about him again until just now, when it was reported that Acclaim is going to make you pay to be a black person. Given the situation regarding this, and the Imus scandal, his words echo in my ears. Except this part now no longer seems pathetic.

It seems prophetic.

Now, before I begin, a quick quiz for you. Other than sports games, fighting games and sandbox games, how many games can you name with a black lead character? Doodi and I sat for a second without an answer, until Zikan came up with one answer. The game he mentioned was 'Beast.' Now, I've never heard of this game, but that may be because I just never really went out and looked for it, or tried it. But other than that, we were at a loss for words.

Now, as I stated on Digg.com regarding the Acclaim situation, the Cole Train from Gears of War is a supporting character, and is used essentially for comic relief. GTA: San Andreas had a black lead, but it was a sandbox game that was about gang-banging. Same with Saints Row, and even then, you didn't HAVE to be black. You could choose. Crackdown has a person of seemingly every race as a lead character. Other than that, I come up with blanks.

I even went on Google to check, and saw a post from Digg that had the same desire I did: to find the black leads in videogames. According to their report, there were, at that time, ELEVEN black leads. And out of that group, 2 were athletes: Shaquille O'Neal in Shaq-Fu and Michael Jordan in Michael Jordan: Chaos In the Windy City. Both of those were people who transcended race and thus had an audience already to sell a game platform to. One was Michael Jackson from Moonwalker, who also transcended race, and had tied the game in with his Moonwalker movie. They also listed Jade from Beyond Good and Evil, which was a great game, but I didn't think Jade was black. I was thinking Asian.

When will we ever realize that gamers don't all fit within the same box? I am sure that the demographics of video game players show a varied base of races that play video games. Two get represented often: White and Asian, because the folks that generally make the games are either white, or asian. Bonus question: Name a black developer. I can't. I can, however, name Cliffy B., Will Wright, David Jaffe, Shigero Miyamoto and Hideo Kojima. These were all off the top of my head, and I couldn't even ask them to make a game starring a black lead, because they don't have any reason to. Realistically, if they make a game, they are in a tough spot, because games with black leads don't seem to sell very well, unless they are of the Sandbox type. And when a game is made with a black lead, more and more often, it is the type that totally misses the point and absolutely lampoons what it was trying to build. 187 Ride or Die, anyone?

In a perfect world, a hubbub would rise up about this, and the companies would change their ways and start utilizing more diverse leads. But it won't happen. If anyone has complained, it hasn't stopped the billion dollar video game industry from growing. No matter how you complain, if you still buy it, it defeats the purpose.

But in inner cities all around the country, they are developing classes for the youth, and diversity is showing up in spades. Kids of all colors are getting an early education in video game development, and as those kids become our future developers, they will hopefully diversify the faces of lead characters. Black, White, Indian, Armenian, Asian, all will be used as lead characters in my utopia.

But they said they same thing about having a black kid or a little girl growing up to be president in the 80's.

You see how that went.

[21 Comments]

Cheerios

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass.'" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, Hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks
with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young
man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"

[1 Comments]

I wouldn't eat any of this baby shower cake...

Someone needs to be slapped... NSFW!!!!

[6 Comments]

Can't Believe...

There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they're moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was brunette, and the other had black hair.

So one night, the moms are all sitting around talking, and the Brunette says, ''I found a cigarette butt in my daughters trash can, I can't believe she smokes.''

The mom with Black Hair looks over and says, ''Well, I found a beer bottle in my daughters trashcan I can't believe she drinks.''

Then the blonde thinks for a moment and says, ''I found a condom in my daughters bed, I can't believe she has a dick.''

[2 Comments]