Royal Order of the Red Lights

Being the good guy that I am, and being curious I tried to do what the kid from Microsoft suggested to REALLY be sure that the problem was my xbox, and not a game. So I popped in Oblivion and began to play for about 2 minutes... and sure enough, the screen locks up. So, up I go, and shut down the system, but this time there was a difference. When I shut down the power, there was a LOUD whizzing sound and then.. silence. I turn the power back on and my life was forever changed. I finally got the call from the secret society that is talked about in whispers and only eluded to on message boards.

I have to say that I feel special. I finally joined and elite group of angry members of...

The Royal Order of the Red Lights.

My question is where are the meetings going to be? I have already paid my dues (1 xbox 360) but have not recieved my secret packet in the mail. One other question that maybe another member of the RORL can answer, is the proctological exam covered by home office in Seattle or do I need to fax the bill to Bill?

I guess I can still play on my old xbox which keeps running and working fine like the tank that it is. Where did they go wrong with the new 360? I am not a computer guy so to me it is all wires and switches, but it sure seems like they could have used better guts in the 360.

S

Xbox Blues

Yesterday I got off the phone with Microsoft and I had no hair left. For starters the phone call lasted for just under an hour. And when I could get the guy to stop reading from a que card and talk to me, the discusson was like talking to a wall. He repeated everything I said, and asked me the dumbest questions, over and over and over again.

Here is the just, and the reason I called them. My screen has been locking up. On Halo 3 beta, and every game I put in. I called to tell them that they need to make this right.
He said, sorry sir, but the year warranty has expired and I would have to shell out about 150.00 dollars.

To which I told him he has lost his mind! I just sent my Xbox 360 in back in March for the SAME thing and have had it back for 2 months and what ever they did, didn't fix the problem.

Here is the best part... He said and I quote: "Sir, this is an electronic device and they can break...." To which I cut him off and responded in a very loud voice:" BUD, sitting 1 foot above the xbox 360 is a sony 28 inch tv that has lasted 12 years, thru teenagers, and dogs and moving 3 times and it works like a charm. Next to that is an Aiwa stereo that is 15 years old... never even a hicup with that. I have a microwave I have owned since college... you don't want to even know what that thing has been thru.... BUT YOUR XBOX CAN"T LAST 12 MONTHS AND HAS BEEN IN THE SHOP ALREADY AND IS ON ITS WAY BACK IN THERE!

I then asked to talk to a supervisor, and in five minutes he said the repair would be done at no cost. So, I will limp along and wait for the UPS box to come and once again I will give up my xbox for about a month.

I guess the one good thing is that the beta is almost over, and there are no games that I want that come out soon.

S

About the grainy, hard to see photo in my banner

It is a subject of great debate at our house. Years ago, when I gained a wife, I also gained a stepson. Not a bad kid, but he was dead wrong on one issue. For some reason he felt that Batman was the greatest superhero of all time. I said this to him as I commented on his Batman t-shirt on our first meeting, "Batman is not a superhero, he is a crime fighter." In fact is is the greatest of all the superheros as you will see.

I had a lot of evidence to support my claim. The comic, where Batman is a normal man that dons a cape and lives in this "Cave" with his friend Robin. In his comic, Superman is from another world. He fights alone and is in love with Lois Lane. Even the movies show that Batman is just that, a guy dressed as a bat... no superpowers, just gadgets. But the best arguement came in the Kill Bill 2 movie. Here, Bill talked to Beatrix about what makes Superman... super. (The following speech is from the movie in case you missed it)

"As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race."

That is why on my banner, Superman has Batman in a one hand choke hold as they argue about who is the bad boy of the block, or the BMOC. His next words to the caped crusaider were "Go home...human...."

You see, now the debate is over, and we can get on with our lives.

S

The fun that is Memorial Day

Once again I find myself at my desk on a holiday weekend. I hope all of you that are off are having fun and living it up for the rest of us.

Didn't things used to just be closed for holidays. When I was a kid, my home town was like a ghost town for Christmas, and 4th of July and Memorial Day. Try getting to the grocery store, or need some office supplies, or renting a video. (Oh yea,  that wasn't available yet) People and companies used to know what a holiday was for. Time with friends and family. Time to yourself. Time... the most precious gift you can have or give.

I wish you all, time. So, log off and unplug  for a while and go and spend so time with those that matter.

Well, my phone is ringing....

Speedbyrd

Where has all the sense gone

As I made to way to work today I had the honor to get behind a new breed of driver. This new type is very prolific and they seem to be breeding at an exponential rate, not unlike the german cockroach. This driver has a one tracked mind, and has a singular purpose, and believe me, they are commited. The driver I am speaking about is the one who sets the cruize control at 54 miles per hour and high tails it to the left lane... and stays there. I have read that they have a sort of optical condition that makes it seem to them that a car is right in front of them, and another just to the right. They can't move, they won't move! The condition they have in their eyes also allows them to see other optical illusions. Take for instance the fact that they wave to you as you flip them off. They don't see the middle finger, they see a friendly wave from a fellow motorist. They also don't have the mental alertness to grasp that as cars pile up behind them, and whiz by them on the right, that THEY are the cause of all the unrest. There is only one solution.

We must keep trying to level up, and with the help of the Agency Supercar... get behind them, and make use of the chain gun! Ok, it is not going to actually do anything to help get these people off the road and locked up at "The Nervous Hospital" (I moved to the south and people down here have some cool sayings) Crackdown is the safest way to relieve the stress of the modern commute. You don't want to be locked up and have people forming line behind you!

Funny isn't it. We are on the brink of cracking all the mysteries of the human genome. We are almost ready to stretch out our hands and set foot on a the red planet Mars, and we can't get folks out of the passing lane. I guess it doesn't matter. With the way gas prices are going, the only people that will be doing a lot of driving in the future will be oil executives... let them deal with the new driver.

Speed