The trenches part 3

Well, after a session with my therapist and a session with the marriage counselor things were looking bleak.  My wife still wanted to leave.  She was checking for places online and the only thing holding her back was money.  After some thinking I found a way that she could move out.  I told and I thought that was it.  Then on the way to work she called me.  She said that she needs to follow her gut and stay.  She said that she is going to seek out individual couseling to help her get past what is bothering her.

*Fast Forward*

I got a call at the end of work today.  It was the wife talking about rent to own townhomes and extending our cell phone plan to upgrade phones.  Then she even mentions a plan about having kids in the near future.  It made me so happy to hear her talking about the future and that she is back on board with our marriage.  I am glad that she decided to stay and let us heal together.

I actually was able to sit down and play Mario Galaxy with my wife and I loved every minute of it.

Now I am waiting for SOCOM to finish downloading a patch so I can kill something before I go to bed.

I am in a much better place and happy for it.

Good Talk.  I will see you out there...

Trenches update....

The session is now over and the wife still wants to move out for a while.  I understand where she is coming from.  It doesn't hurt any less but what am I going to do?  I think there was some progress made overall.  I understand the problem a bit more and that helps.  The one thing that I still know is that I don't want to lose her.  With that said, I will do whatever it takes to make her happy and keep the marriage together.  There are some things that the therapist asked us to do before our next session and hopefully that will lay some groundwork towards getting her head right.

Throughout the session it was said several times that I have made strides and vast improvements with dealing with being bipolar.  That was bittersweet given the context of the comments.   It still felt good to know that I am getting back to normal.

Despite that, it still is bugging me that the wife can't get past some of the bipolar issues and just be happy.  Even though this is her issue to work through, it is tough to know that the very person that you love is being pushed away by you being you. 

I still have a great deal of soul searching to do to work on being at peace with all of this.  I still need to have faith in our love and that we will make it through.  I need to do what the therapist asked me to do and move towards resolution.  I need to keep a level head and support my wife while she works through this.  I have made strides to beat bipolar and I must finally kill it for good.  I need to do this for me, my wife, and for us.

Good talk, I will see you out there...

Back in the trenches...

Well, boys, I am back in the trenches and the war is on.  My wife has requested a trial separation.  She is saying the tough times over the last two years were too much and caused too much damage.  She stated that while I have progressed past that time she has not.  I took off work today as I would have been no help to them at all. 

I had an emergency appointment with my terapist and she stated that she is proud of the way that I am handling the whole thing.  That session was tough though.  It is hard to get past that I am the cause of this damage that she has.  I really struggled to admit that and my therapist stated it took a great deal of courage to admit my part in the problem.

Tonight at 6:30 is a session with our marriage counselor.  This will be a big session as this could determine if she leaves or not.  I am really aprehensive about this session.  I don't think that she should leave.  I think that we can work through this together like we did with me.  It is a really tough thing to hear the one you love wants to leave the home that you are building together.  It is even tougher to tougher to realize they might not come back.  Anyway, long story short this session is a big one.  We are literally standing at a crossroads and I have no control over which way we go.

I thought that we had moved past all of this and were doing well.  I am now finding out once again the scary reality that it can be all gone just like that.  Make sure you hug your significant other and, if you have them, your children.  Then count your blessings because that is what they are.

Good talk.  I will see you out there....

The slow march back to normal....

It has been awhile since I have done anything on this site.  It has also been a long time since I played an online game with anyone let alone my boys in the PPC.  As anyone who followed my blog at all knows I have had my share of problems.  These problems range from being bipolar, my marriage, and even my job.  While I still struggle with all of those things, they are now under control for the most part.  I am in therapy for the bipolar and my marriage.  My job is going well.  I might even get promoted. *fingers crossed*  All of this has led me into a much better spot personally.  

In the world of gaming my weapon of choice has changed.  I used to be a 360 first find of guy.  Now I am buying PS3 first.  I think the switch happened after my most recent Red Ring of Death.  I have trouble investing in a console that keeps failing and leaving me high and dry.  That is one area that I know is going to hurt me in terms of playing online with the members of 2o2p.  I now that I will get some online time once Gears 2 comes out but that is still some time off.

Long story short.  I am returning to my old self and I am starting to want to be social again.  My world is in a much better place and that means I can get back to being me.  I will be looking for some Gears games and even some Rock Band 2 action.  If you are not on my friends list and would like to help me get back into the 2o2p community shoot me a FR.  If you are PPC and see me online, shoot me an invite.  I am going to see if I can get into 2old2resist as they are the lone PS3 clan around.

For all of you who kept me on your friends list, thank you.  For all of those who stuck by me (Phalanx, this means you)  thank you.  I look forward to seeing all of you on the field of battle in the near future.

Good talk.  I will see you out there.

Shuttdown

Same ol' Shit

Well I have gotten the Red Ring of Death for the fourth time.  This just makes me love my PS3 even more.  Fuck Microsoft and their shitty console.  The only reason I have the damn thing is Rock Band.  Fucking Pricks.