Week 2 thoughts

Well, I am in my second week of my meds.  There is some good and some bad.  I will be doubling my dose on Thursday per the doc.  So that should be interesting.  Anyway, I am not sure that I am ever going to be the social gamer that I once was.  Even though that my anxiety is under control, I just cannot get in the mood to jump on at this time.  I will always be 2o2p.  I cannot deal with the Timmy population.  So when I want to play it will be 2o2p.  I just can't seem to get my bearings as far as being comfortable with me.  I am having more fun just playing off line and doing my own thing.  I am playing a great deal of The Show and even Ninja Gaiden Sigma.  I think that I will end up playing more action and RPGs for awhile as well.  I will be getting a PS2 off of a co-worker to catch up on DMC and MGS.  I have DMC4 and will start that eventually but I think that it would be nice to be able to play the whole story out.  I really only played the first MGS and would like to play some the other two before diving into the fourth one this June.  I am really all FPSed out.  I am not even looking to pickup RSV2.  I could not stand Halo 3 and COD4 just sits there.  I tired Resistance on PS3 and it was just like the rest of them.  I can still play GOW with the PPCers but that is about it.  I think that I am getting back to my gaming roots in the form of sports, RPGs, action, and what ever the hell SSMB is. 

I tried to get into the MLB 2K8 season in PPC but the lag is just killing the experience.  So, of course, after nobody was playing NHL 08 and I completed my season and trading it in, I get an invite to an NHL 08 league.  Oh well, maybe they can patch 2K and I can get into a league that way.  I really would like to get into an NBA 2K league later in the year.

To all of you who see me online and can get me to play, thanks.  You are really helping.  Hopefully I will get there someday.

Posted by Shuttdown @ 2:31 am EDT | Permalink | 1 Comments

Marriage Session

I had my weekly session with my wife and our counselor and it actually went pretty well.  We talked in length about the whole bi polar thing and what that means for our relationship.  There were a great deal of things discussed as far as what kind of moods are in my normal cycle.  Three were identified and discussed in length.  My wife actually was doing a good job of managing my moods before this whole thing came up.  It seems that now I am doing my part by taking the mood stabilizer and really trying to hit this thing head on.  It has been a week now since I started the new meds and my racing thoughts are starting to slow down and my anxiety/panic problem is leveling out.  For the first time in a long time I feel there is some progress being made.  One of the biggest things that I have to address is my impulse spending.  I spend way too much on things like games and Manga books.  That is something that I have to discuss in my solo sessions.  I want to be able to buy things without worrying that I will go off of the deep end.  So until I can do that I will be buying nothing.  (Although my last buy was yesterday in the form of the new Crystal Chronicles game for the DS.)  One thing that I have is an impulse game waiting for me.  I have a copy of DMC4 that is my back up of my need to get some thing new is too strong.  Another is the fact that I am playing the RTTS mode in The Show.  That is a really fun mode.  I am a pitcher for the 'AA' club for the Twins right now.  Anyway, like I said for the first time in a long time I feel good about where things are going.  That is much different than the suicidal mood I was in for a couple of months.  I am still adjusting to the new moods and the lack of racing thoughts.  Even though where I was at before sucked, it was still my comfort zone.  Good talk....I will see you out there....

Posted by Shuttdown @ 4:15 am EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

Results of the meeting with the Specialist

Well the results are in and I am officially bi polar.  I am sure how to handle the whole thing but after reading up on it I can say that it certainly fits.  I am on a mood stabilizer and will continue my therapy.  Like I said before, I am still trying to get my head around this.  I found this out on Thursday and it took me until now to actually blog it.  There are a great deal of things that I have to wrap my head around all of aspects that are affected by this.

Posted by Shuttdown @ 4:09 am EDT | Permalink | 4 Comments

I got the Show a day early

I know it is not like last week early but I got the show a day early and that is exciting since this is a game that I have been waiting for.  Just thought I would share.  I am going to play it now.

Posted by Shuttdown @ 1:09 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

Patapon, MLB, and 3 Sessions

Over the next ten days I will be completing one heck of a run.  I had a session with my wife today.  I start finals on Monday.  I have a session with my therapist on Tuesday.  A session with my wife on Wednesday.  Then I meet with a psychologist on Thursday.  I am going to be wiped after all of that.  The best part will be the fact that I am off from Wednesday to Monday.  So that means that all I have to do is play Patapon (which I got yesterday) and survive until MLB08 and MLB 2k8 show up next week.  Then I can just relax and play some baseball.  I am really looking forward to the PPC 2k8 league.  I have really not played anything online in a serious fashion in a very long time.  This could and should be my big comeback.  If you are getting either game, hit me up and I will play a game or two.  Later.

Posted by Shuttdown @ 4:25 am EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments