Hope everyone had a great new year’s break. Mine was fantastic. It’s a rare occasion when I can fully shake off the stresses and strains associated with adulthood for a solid four day period. We had four full days with absolutely nothing planned. No work, no school, no kid’s activities, no outside family obligations, no major chores. I can’t remember the last time this situation occurred. Hell, I can’t remember if it’s ever occurred. I got to play with my kids, repeatedly had sex with my wife (once, even did both at one time), ate well, drank a lot, spent a day in my PJs eating and drinking a lot, watched football, watched cartoons. I even spent a long night with GoW2 and WaW. I woke up this morning wearing a big grin.

 

 

Unfortunately, the party is over. Work sucks. Christmas bills have started to arrive. And I’m officially downgraded to Natty Lights. But it’s all good. It will take a while for my grin to fade.

 

Lucky I have a new goal to  work towards:

 

 

I should be in for some nookie!! After all, my wedding anniversary should be one day each year when even I can almost guarantee getting laid. Then again, I can remember a time when a happy birthday blow job was a regular event. There is no better way to start your birthday than with a good morning hummer. There’s no worse way to start your birthday by having suction cease just shy of a complete blow job because an excited child runs into the room to wish her old man a good day. Once we procreated, I started getting IOU’s for my birthday. Once the ink is dry on an IOU, they can be difficult to redeem.

 

But today looks very promising. Mrs. Snuphy has requested gin. Buzzed Mrs. Snuphy = Horny Mrs. Snuphy. Sweet.

 

Hope everyone gets a little something special to bring in the new year!

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

 

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

 

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

 

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

 

Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

 

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

 

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

 

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

 

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

 

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

 

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

 

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

 

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.

 

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

 

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

 

That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.

 

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

 

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

 

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

 

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

 

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

 

A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

 

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

 

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

 

He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

 

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

 

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

 

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

NSFW?? If your place of employment is uptight about female nudity, this isn’t the video for you. But if you like magic tricks, or seeing a naked chick prance around a stage, then you just might enjoy this.