Simple Math

I can do this math.  Thanks to my 2 year old, I found out last week that when you have water spilt into a surge protector, you get sparks, fire and all kind of cool noises.  The good news, all my equipment is fine, the surge protector did what it was supposed to, shut off. 

Words mean nothing!

Ok, I have a little rant so hang with me. 

I have learned throughout my life that words really don't mean anything.  Just yesterday I decided to order some business cards from Staples so I can pass them out to potential clients or friends to give to people.  I got online and created my card, ordered them and went about my day.  Staples states that the order will be ready within 4 hours for pickup.  I ordered the cards around 1pm and was going to pick them up that night or today.  After dinner, we got the hankering for some ice cream so I thought I would call Staples to make sure the cards are done and then pick them up while we were out.  It's 7pm, 6 hours after my order which was supposed to be done in 4 hours(5 pm).  I called them and not only was the order not done, they couldn't even find the order.  It took about 10 minutes for them to find it and after finding it the guy told me they would be ready tomorrow afternoon (which is this afternoon).  Even though I didn't need them yesterday or even today for that matter I just got pissed.  I asked the guy about the policy and he said they were too busy and couldn't get them done.  I then replied, "so, your 4 hour policy doesn't mean anything then?" and he said, "No, it doesn't"  I was so pissed I wanted to cancel my order but they have no cancellation policy because as stated in their FAQs "Due to the speed of processing your order, we are unable to cancel it."   It's really the pricipal of it all that pisses me off.

This is just one example of many where words don't mean shit.  Maybe that is why I can't even brind myself to watch the political debates or read a politcal blog or even a news story for that matter.  People are all the time saying crap that they really don't mean.  Actions my friend are what matter, words don't mean shit.

Glass half empty or half full?

Ok, yeah I am still pumped about my wife winning the contest but as they say, "easy come, easy go".

First: The night we found out she won, we ran the dishwasher (because it needed to be run) and went to bed. We got up to a huge wet puddle in our Kitchen. Upon further investigation, I found out that the door seal was worn out. I did some research and our dishwasher was so old I couldn't even buy a replacement part. So my butt went out to Lowes and had to drop like $400 for a new one and spent a couple hours installing it, not to mention I shocked the crap out of myself in the process.

Second: My car has been leaking anti-freeze slowly so I have been refilling it about ever couple of weeks. Over the weekend, my wife took the car out to a birthday party and when she came back she told me there was a huge green puddle under the car. I took it in today and it needs a new radiator. $500.

So, I can choose to look at this situation as negative or positive. I am going to choose to see the positive side of this. Had my wife not won, these things still would have happened and my stress level would be out the roof. Because she did win, we have a little extra cash to cover these unfortunate events. So my friends, in this case, the glass is half full.

Way to go Wife!

So, as many of you know, my wife loves to cook and experiment in the kitchen.  She also loves to enter recipe contest.  Well, she has gone and won another one.  This time is was the Kraft Eat Happy contest.  The prize was $5000 in cash and $5200 (52 x $100) in Publix gift cards!  Yeah wife.  This is really a blessing because I am now self employeed and it is taking a while to get business built up.  We shop at Publix all the time and its about 2 blocks from our house so this is a perfect prize not to mention cash is always nice.  I guess I will keep her! 

Here is a local article:  Link

Oops, did I say that?

Well, to set this up you first need to know something about my parrents.  They are very conservative and have rarely uttered a bad word in their life.  So, the other night, my 4 year old daughter went to spend the night with my parents.  They had a splended time, Katie needed a nap because she stayed up late but overall it seemed to be fine.  A few nights later we are at my parents house for my now 2 year old's Birthday party and towards the end of the party, my mom pulled me into a side room because she had something she wanted to "talk" to me about.  Now, I am just imagining in my head what she wants to tell me.  I am ready for the lecture about me drinking ("give me a break" I was thinking, "I am 37") or about me not going to Church enough (we typically make it 2 or 3 times a month, sorry if I am not there everytime the doors open) or could it be something else?  Well it was something else.

Here it is.  She went on to tell me that the night that Katie spent the night with them, Katie went to the bathroom.  My mom asked " Katie, do you need any help?" and Katie replied, "Nope, I am a big girl now and my daddy says and I am old enough to wipe my own fucking butt."  My mom was flabbergasted and asked her to repeat it in which she happily did.  Yep, she said it alright and my mom was not happy about me using language like that around my kids. As she was telling me this I was trying to hold in the laughter because it was funny as hell.  Later when I told my wife, I could barely get it out I was laughing so hard. 

Of course, I  don't want my kids using bad language and of course I don't need to be using language like that around my kids but I am a grown man and don't reallly need my mommy telling me how to act.

I am pretty sure I didn't say that to Katie directly but I do think I said it to my wife and Katie most likely overheard it.  On the positive side, ever since then, Katie has been wiping her own "fucking" butt.