George Carlin RIP

So George Carlin floats up to heaven and is greeted by St. Peter at the Pearly Gate (yeah, it's just one gate... why was it ever pluralized?).

"Howdy, Pete!" says George.

"Welcome." says St. Peter.

"I am so glad I don't have to work stand-up comedy any more." continued George. "I got so tired of doing that '7 words' routine. I had better material, but all the rubes just wanted to hear me say '$hit' and 'f*ck' all the-"

At that point, St. Peter interrupted George Carlin. "You can't say those words up here, my son."

"Really?" intoned Mr. Carlin.

"Yes," replied St. Peter, "the 7 words that cannot be spoken on broadcast television also cannot be spoken in heaven. The first time one of them is uttered, the offender is cast into hell."

"Well, I'll be d@mned!" exclaimed George.

Jimmy's Release

I said goodbye to a young friend today.  Jimmy the turtle, about whom I have blogged before, has moved into a new home.  Here he is in his moving van:

Jimmy's new home:

Slowly going toward his new home in a creek just by the White River in Indiana:

Saying his final goodbye:

I am a Wildlife Champion!

Ugh. That was brutal. Once again, I owe on my Federal return because my wife divorced me, I make too much money to get a decent student loan interest deduction, and I am too poor paying off my ex's credit card bills to make a decent-sized charitable contribution that would reduce my tax liability.

On the bright side, I was $3.00 positive when I e-filed my state return! So I graciously thought of the little creatures and donated 100% of my refund to the state non-game wildlife fund. Yes, it is a pretty big deal. I think they will name the option after me next year. I mean, 100%! You can't get any better than that!

In related news, I will be returning Jimmy to the wild from whence he came. I probably never should have taken him in, but he walked out of a creek, across a grassy field, and INTO a classroom full of 3-year olds! I think he wanted to experience human life for a while. Well, he is too dang big now and as soon as he runs out of food, he is going back to the creek!

Robot Wristwatch!

Anybody else have one of these?  I did!

circa 1985... I had a wristwatch that transformed into a jet, my classmate had the watch pictured above.  He liked my watch; I liked his.  We traded and we were both happy.  Sadly, I can't find any pics of the jet-transforming wristwatch on the net (it wasn't an actual Transformer - it was a cheap generic toy).  Ah, childhood!

Everyone Loves Fridays

I am retiring Donald Sutherland.  My new blog pic that goes at the top of the site is my old avatar.  My new avatar is my award for "Thread of the Year" in the OMM clan forum.  You can see it below:

So what was so great about my thread (actually a series of threads)?  Well, they are known collectively as the "Friday Threads"... who doesn't love Fridays?  I think I only got votes because everyone loves Fridays!  I'll take it.  It's better than getting Smartass of the Year (which I was also nominated for but did not get - thanks Castlemonster)!