I think an eye roll and a forced sigh were the first thing I did when I was playing Dead Rising a week ago and the game quit out, the fans stopped spinning within the Xbox 360, and then the all too familiar blinking of the 3 red lights. I stopped playing the game and went and did chores and other things I had planned for the day. After work the next day, I came home and started up the 360 and everything was just fine. I knew that it definitely wasn't a good sign to get the red ring, but I just dismissed it, secretly knowing in the back of my mind this was a foreshadowing of the imminent death of my 2nd Xbox 360.

I had that sense of dread from the last time this occured, and having to call Microsoft tech support, after reading the hundreds of forum threads around the net about the red rings, and that there isn't anything you can do aside from shipping it back to Microsoft for a repair/replacement. When I called, they run you through the steps like maybe, just maybe you did something wrong and induced a temporary hardware failure. I finally got them to understand that yes I know what the red ring means, yes it's dead, and yes I would like to repair it... and no I don't want to pay for it. This was in March.

I finally got the new box back and haven't had an issue yet. I bought an intercooler just in case and everything seemed to be peachy.. until today. Today I was playing Rainbow Six singleplayer. I was in Dante's Casino during an annoying set piece battle where it seems nearly impossible to progress. Out of smoke grenades and being suppressed by a gun emplacement, I decided to just run and gun. I left the safety of cover, ran through the room seemingly dodging bullets and killed two of the terrorists next to the slot machines. I ducked behind a column to reload and regain my clear vision. Just as I was about to make a mad dash for the gun emplacement.. blank screen, the shallow whine of the hard drive, and the three dead-stare blinking red lights. The room once filled with gunfire and the shouting of orders, now dead silent... except for the blinking red lights.

As far back as I can remember I have been playing video games, or games in general really. Sure, I went outside and rode bikes with friends, played kick ball in the yard and stayed outside some nights until the street lamp came on. But I always had a thing for video games. My parent's had an Odyssey 2000 (original PONG system, it took D batteries to run) and a Studio II. Eventually we moved on to an Atari 2600 (I loved me some River Raid and Space Invaders), and on my 7th birthday, in 1987 my Dad went up into the attic and pulled out an enormous Nintendo box.

When we first got the NES my Dad and my sister would play games together, like Gyromite. One player was the scientist (I assume, he looked like a pixelated Albert Einstein) and the other would open the gates and smoosh enemies. I would play Duck Hunt, Mario Brothers, and the other classic games. Sometimes my father would look on and give me advice like "step away from the screen with the zapper and try and shoot the ducks" as I scraped the gun across the screen and essentially cheated. Eventually my parent's treated my fascination as a childish hobby as I grew older.

Growing up sometimes I would neglect school work or spend an entire weekend inside playing games. I would invite friends over and we'd play together (Battletoads was fun co-op) all weekend. I eventually moved on to computer games and continually branched out to try new games and systems. I never failed a class, or was ever held back in school, I just didn't make high grades, and I honestly didn't care. Whether games were a proponent to that, or just a product of my disinterest in school is to be decided but clearly my parent's thought my interest was silly and childish.

Sometimes I would be in my room listening to music, and playing a game. I remember one instance, when I was playing Final Fantasy III as my Dad walked by. He looked in my room and asked "don't you ever get tired of that?" as he scoffed and walked off to go vegetate in front of the TV for the rest of the night. It seemed almost that my parent's enabled my gaming hobby, yet turned their noses up at the idea. As I went into high school and reputations are created, I never told anyone of my gaming hobby. It's just something I did, yet didn't talk a lot about, a closet nerd I suppose. I would see the guys that would openly talk about games and they fit the "nerd" or "loser" image. I would always smirk walking past when they would be talking about a game I'm just as passionate about, yet completely refuse to discuss. It just seemed as though video games = girl repellant and I wasn't about to ruin my chances of ever getting a girlfriend. Outside of my world, it seemed like the media and adults saw gaming as a childish past time, along the lines of cartoons and comic books.

Now it seems that video games are becoming part of the mainstream while some diehards still claim that gaming is a childish, nonproductive activity that is just a waste of time. I think this a big problem for mature/adult gamers who enjoy the hobby, yet deal with the negativity. This is a two-fold problem as parents who aren't game-savvy allow their children to buy whatever games they want, not considering the possibility of mature content. So online, the people who have etiquette, consideration for others and maturity are tossed into an anonymous world where anything can be said without repercussions. I cannot count the number of times I've heard a child who obviously has not hit puberty curse like a sailor online to feel tough or make themselves sound more mature. It's essentially chest beating in a community where if you're loud and aggressive you tend to be heard, regardless of age or wisdom since that is thrown out the window. (on a side rant: instead of reducing mature content in M rated games, why not enforce the rating to keep children from playing them? It's sort of like watering down alcohol because children are getting it.. it doesn't make sense.)

I went out to the stables early on Monday morning. I even beat Becky there and went back to the stalls to look at Chief and let him know his new best friend was there. He was eating and honestly couldn't care less that I was around. Becky got there and came back to where I was and everything started out as usual. I've been trying to ween myself of Becky's assistance with putting on the saddle and tack. So I did everything I could on my own aside from putting on his bit, which Becky did because he tends to hold his head up and yank his neck. She didn't feel comfortable letting me do that, which is understandable. So I finally got all of his equipment on (with a few checks from Becky) and walked him around the arena on foot a few rounds before hopping on his back. We walked around a little bit as Becky entered the arena with Cashmere. I felt that I had let Chief warm up enough and leaned forward, pushed his sides a little and asked him to trot. He did so without hesitation and I felt good.

Becky noticed and saw that my heels were not down in the stirrups. She went on about how important it was. I pulled my heel down and she said curtly "it's not down" I repositioned and she retorted "still not down" with this stern look. I finally got it in a position she was happy, and consciously made the effort to keep my heels down. I pulled Chief around the corner and tried to trot again, and halfway into it Becky told me to stop, and that she didn't feel comfortable with me trotting him when I can't keep my heels down. I had been watching her ride, and that's what I tried to emulate. She had her feet pointed outwards, and sometimes she didn't even have her feet in the stirrups at all. So when she said that, I was torn down a little and replied "well look at yourself".. I know that came out wrong, but I thought I got my point across that I was following her lead and I didn't see her heels down all the time. She looked away and said "I don't think this is such a good idea anymore" and rode off around the arena.

The rest of the time in the arena I just walked Chief around with my heels down, and my legs wrapped around his sides. I would look at Becky and she was purposely avoiding eye contact with me and keeping her distance from me when I rode near. She hopped off Cashmere and walked her into the stables so I hopped off of Chief and brought him in as well.

When taking the saddle and tack off, you have to strap them in with another set of facial harness equipment (edit: halter, thanks Devonsangel) so you have to be able to get the bit out of their mouth, and the reins while also getting this other harness on their head, otherwise they're not anchored to anything and they could potentially walk off. Well while I was trying to get his tack off, and get this harness on, Becky was walking Cashmere to the other side of the stables and washing her off.

I took off Chief's tack and thought he would stay still for a second for me to put this harness on so I could strap him in. Hell no.. he saw that he was free and started licking the side of one of the stalls. Then went into the stall and started eating the feed in the bucket. I tried to get the harness on his head while he ate, but his face was completely in the bucket. I pushed on his chest to get him to backup with no avail. I slapped his flank hard to get him to notice I didn't approve.. he didn't budge. This horse is 1500 lbs. or so, I cannot move him. I eventually get him out of that stall as he pushes into my arm and it scrapes down the side of the stall painfully. He wanders into the stall across the way and starts eating the food in the bucket there as well. All during this time Becky is hosing off her horse.

I'm trying to be a man and take care of the situation and take control, but this horse was not helping. Pushing on this horse is like trying to push on my Jeep in park.. he shifts a little but doesn't move. I lock myself in the stall with him and unhook the bucket so it hits the floor and he has to bend down to get to it. When he does he looks at me for a minute, and I finally get the harness on his head. I take a handful of the harness and get him strapped in outside the stall.

I have to admit, I was scared. I did not know if he was going to get upset with me and try and kick me, bite me again with more aggression. Maybe he would get spooked by me and run, hurt himself or me.. I didn't know. I didn't feel like I was in a good place at all. Becky brings Cashmere back to her stable and I'm tired and don't know the proper bathing techniques or any of that. I put Chief back in his stall and put the rest of the equipment up. Becky is putting some things up in the tack room and I ask her "so you're not talking to me anymore?" and she doesn't reply and walks out. She goes down to Cashmere's stall for awhile and then comes back and tells me she's leaving. I look at her and ask her "what?" in a tone that wasn't a question so much, as I was meaning her attitude and not asking for her to repeat herself. She of course repeats "I'm leaving" and walks out of the stables to the parking lot.

I sit down on the bench and stare down to Chief's stall and feel bad that he was confused, and also didn't get hosed down or brushed like he probably should have.. but I just didn't feel comfortable doing any of that after having such a hard time with him. I didn't feel safe at all. I got up off the bench and walked out to the parking lot where Becky was taking off her boots. I just stood there with my hands on my sides and watched her. She questioned me "what?" and I replied "that's what I asked you awhile ago.. what?" she went on to tell me she takes horse riding seriously, and she doesn't bring just anyone out to the stables with her. She said that it's a big part of her life and it always will be. That for me to get an attitude about it and not listen, was wrong. She felt that she was looking out for my safety first (rant: like leaving me to deal with a 1500 lb. animal for 10 minutes, wrestling with it and tearing my arm up on the side of a stall is safe, but I didn't mention it.. it felt counterproductive and a cheap blow). I replied that what I said was that I try and copy her, she's the only reference I have out there for doing something.. and I just think it was miscommunication. We argued for awhile about it, before she went back into the stables to get some water. I thought if I should just drive off as a way of letting her know I was upset, or should I stay and talk.. maybe I should just drop the ego and say I was sorry, regardless of how frustrated I was with the situation I was just in with Chief and how I felt justified in what I said because of observing her. I decided to stay and wait for her to come back.

When she did I said I was sorry for coming off the wrong way, and she said she was sorry for misunderstanding. We stood there for awhile in the hot sun, covered in sweat before I told her to go home. She meekly said okay and got in her car. I stood there and watched her and she told me to go home as well. I said I would and walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. We drove off and left.