Windows Vista Source Code

A friend just sent me this.  It's not something new because I saw the same thing going on since Windows 95 but it's still fun to see.

/*
     GNOT General Public License!
     (c) 1995-2007 Microsoft Corporation
*/

#include "dos.h"
#include "Win95.h"
#include "Win98.h"
#include "sco_unix.h"

class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{}

int totalNewFeatures = 3;
int totalWorkingNewFeatures = 0;
float numberOfBugs = 345889E+08;
boolean readyForRelease = FALSE;

void main{
 while (!CRASHED){
  
  if (first_time_install){
     if ((installedRAM < 2GB) || (processorSpeed < 4Gz))
        {
           MessageBox("Hardware incompatibility error.");
           GetKeyPress();
           BSOD();
        }
     }
     Make10GBSwapFile();
     SearchAndDestroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
     AddRandomDriver();
     MessageBox("Driver incompatibility error.");
     GetKeyPress();
     BSOD();
   }
  
   //printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
   //printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
   printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
  
   if (still_not_crashed){
      CheckUserLicense();
      DoubleCheckUserLicense();
      TripleCheckUserLicense();
      RelayUserDetailsToRedmond();
     
      DisplayFancyGraphics();
      FlickerLED(hard_drive);
      RunWindowsXP();
      return LotsMoreMoney;
   }
}

Joke of the day

An old man comes back from a day of golf and says to his wife: 
-"It’s finished, I’ll never play golf again. "
-"Why?" ask his wife
-"My sight is not as good as it used to be and I always loose my ball"
-"You should bring my brother, he’s 80 but still have a really good sight, he could watch your ball for you."

The next week, the 2 old men go play golf together.  The old man and his brother in law hit their balls.
-"Did you see my ball?"
-"Yes, I saw it, I saw mine too".
-"Where are the balls?"
-"I don’t remember"

Do you know Jack Shitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. 

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.