JUSTKILLME2
Name: JUSTKILLME2
Joined On: Nov 07, 2007
Maintag: JUSTKILLME2
Age: 40
Occupation: Structural Engineering Technician
Location: Mississippi way down South
Currently: Offline
Last seen: 1/7/09
183 Member Points
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JUSTKILLME2
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12/30/08
walmart
Well It looks like it may be a fun week My son and family are coming in from Fl. for the hoilday and My wife and my 2 youngest are coming back today from Cali. Christmas was good for me I got some shades some ammo and some parts for my Gun anyway here is the joke for the day
BANNED FROM WAL-MART
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Patti:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samuel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras..
* June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
* July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House Wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
* July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
* July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House Wares. Get on it right away.'
* August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
* August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
* August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
* August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
* September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
* September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
* October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
* October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
* October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
* October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.....
s October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Posted by JUSTKILLME2 @ 11:31 am EDT | Permalink | 4 Comments
12/22/08
Good weekend
Posted by JUSTKILLME2 @ 10:26 am EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments
12/02/08
Different Christmas Poem
I am not great with words so when I see these I try and let everyone see them The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight. The sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near. Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold. Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child. "What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!" For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts… To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said, "Its really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night. "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of times. No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me. My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December," Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers." My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam', And now it is my turn and so, here I am. I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile." Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue... an American flag. "I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away from my family, my house and my home. I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.. Who stand at the front against any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall." "So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right." "But isn't there something I can do, at the least, "Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son." Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget. To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long. For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled. Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.
Posted by JUSTKILLME2 @ 12:46 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments
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