oneman1973's Blog - 2old2play

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My real name is Parnell, I'm currently in my early 30's. I’m married and trying to survive this confusing existence known as life. If all the site badges I have displayed on my home page are not enough evidence. I'll come right out and admit it. I'm a computer using, Sci-Fi watching, comic collecting, pc/console gaming geek and I’m proud of it!

After moving around the New England area quite a bit in my youth, my wife and I have settled down and a bought our first home in southeastern Massachusetts. If you’re able to afford living here and paying all the extremely high taxes it’s really not a bad place to live. The summers are hot and the winters are very cold, you really have to live here to understand what people mean when they say “That’s New England weather”.

I’ve been thought of by most of my friends as being “the boy scout” or “the goodie two shoes” While I can’t say I’ve ever been a boy scout, this view of me was created because of my nature of having what seemed to be a higher then normal sense of morality. It really reminds me of the whole super hero mythos that I admire and strive to live by. I just lack the super-powers and outrageous costumes.

What I don’t have in superpowers is made up by my ability to be overly honest and opinionated. I tend to openly, freely and at most times boldly speak my mind on a multitude of subjects. While I would never try to force my opinions on anyone like many people do. I just enjoy talking with people and trying to learn how and why other people think the way they do. It is this ability to think, learn and share my thoughts that has made me the “go to guy” whenever my friends have needed advice or a person to talk to because they know I would give a smart, sincere and most importantly an honest response. However my boldness and honesty isn’t always accepted by people who don’t yet know me. Most often people misunderstand my intentions and they feel I come across as being an asshole. While I am human and I have my asshole moments, if people took the time to get to know me they would realize I am one of the good guys!

I enjoy my work. I work for a very large world wide military contract company named Lockheed Martin. This organization is builds everything from small pieces of military equipment to large items such as aircrafts, navel ships, and even building NASA’s space shuttle. My facility up here in New England doesn’t build anything quite that grand. But they do build many interesting things. I work as a “Quality Control Technician Sr” on a production line the builds communication equipment for the naval submarines.

It’s a rough job, not because of the work itself, but more the dealing with the people can be hard at times. Not everyone enjoys being told they have to strip down and rebuild something they just spent hours building because they forgot some small detail like using lock washers, or having soldered a diode in backwards, or even cross-wiring a cable harness. But it’s my job to find those little errors and make sure they are repaired before the equipment is shipped. It’s a great job and I feel a sense of accomplishment when ever I find faults that need to be repaired. I feel finding these faults and helping to raising the quality level of our products means I’ve done my part in helping our troops do their job of keeping the world safe.

So there you have it, I’m a middle-aged married man who lives his life mimicking the morality of super heroes, collects comics books, is fascinated by stories of fantasy and sci-fi, I plays video games, and care deeply for my friends and family and I try to be there for them. I’m a person who works to improve the quality of our world. I strive to understand why other people think and act as they do. I really do have a unique perspective and view of the world around me and I only want to share it. That is the real point of this website. It is here for those who want to take the time to know me. To those that don’t, they can just close their web browsers or move on to something else; I don’t shove my opinions on anyone. I just expect to be able to freely share my though and hear other peoples without useless criticisms.

All super heroes have a motto or creed by which they are known. Superman has his “Liberty, Justice & American way” speech. Spider-man is known for “Power and its Responsibility” If I myself were to have an expression I want shared with the world it would be this: “Intelligence and understanding is rare and should be used to improve our world not destroy it”

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Look Out World.. I'm on another mood Swing!

There are many expressions that stereo type guys and there love of gadgets!

Here are a few,

Boy and their toys!

He who has the most toys wins,

Etc etc…

I typically never saw myself this way till just this week!

I was playing my Xbox 360 on my 40 inch LCD TV when I had a brief moment of clarity. I looked around my house at all that I have and I was amazed! I’m a 33 year old spoiled adult! I have Multiple Desktops, Multiple Laptops, PSP, Play Station 2s, and Multiple MP3 Players, an Ipod, several models of surround sound systems, GPS devices, many movies and games of all types, and those are just the material items. then there are all the nieces and nephews! Oh my god what awesome kids they are! What about my two loving cats and very loyal dog!

Oh, have I mentioned my wife? Not only does she let me buy whatever gadget I want (Can Afford Bills Accounted)… But when I’m interested in something & hesitate to buy it… She buys it for me just to see happy! BTW love you don’t have to do that!

I know you guys have had to read several posts I’ve placed on these blogs by me complaining about this, that, or my difficult childhood, Trust me nothing can take away from the hell I dealt with growing up…I may even post another segment soon, However this is something different, because I just realized that as an adult, In the life I have created with my wife and friends. I am a very lucky and fortunate man!

I have all the toys and gadgets a guy could ask for, a loving wife, a decent job that pays the mortgage on my own home!

I don’t know why it never dawned on me before. I don’t know why I’ve spent the last few years moping around always depressed! Well ok I do, my mother and brothers back to back deaths may be a factor there. But that aside I don’t know why all of a sudden I’ve realized that even with all the tragedies I’ve been threw, I am still truly lucky for all the good things I still have, (see above ie.. Wife, kids, Pets, Home)

There is only one last thing that I need to be truly happy! A child of my own!

And the wife and I are working hard at making that happen before I’m 35

Here’s hoping that 2007 brings each and everyone a fantastic new year with lots love, happiness and let’s not forget more toys and gadgets!

How many other of you relies how lucky we are just to be alive!

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Poker Game A Bomb!

So As i posted in a previous blog. this past saterday I had planned a big poker game.. I invited 5 friends.

2 guys who work at the same place i do who i get along with and joke with daily,

2 guys I met and know from gaming and Lan parties

1 Guy i've know personaly for year.

Weeks pass and i ask the occational "hey guys we all set for saterday" Everything seemed a go till the weekend before. 2 of the co-workers bailed for personal; reasons one had a long distance to drive and didnt want to drink and drive that far... ok understandable, The second relised it was his brother birthday and his brother was being taken out to dinner that night by tha fam and he had to go. ok again understandable

That still leave 4 of us, we can still play poker with 4.. the fridaynight before I called people to confirm again.. everyone was a go still. till 5pm the night of the game.. The game was scheduled for 6pm and at 5p i got several phone calls, One caller said his mom fell down stairs and neede to go to the hospital went to the hospital. then the guys i've known for years call explaining he was stuck in boston and decided he wasnt going to make and go home instead. Finaly on guy did show up. but regretably there was no poker game!

We spent a few hours playing video game on my 360 before he left early because no one else showed up.

just one more reason for me to say... People suck and even when i try and be possitive and make friends it doenst seem to work. Yeah Yeah you happy shinny people will have somthing to say and you can keep your comments.. I realise i should be happy and glad the one guy did show... which i am but that dont change the dissapointment i feel for the other 4 blowing me off.. and even if i wasnt just blown off and people did get hurt stuck in trafic or have other commitments they forgot... its doent change the fact it was disapointing to have a poker night and only 1 guys show up...

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My Dog!

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My Fat Cat!

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My Evil Cat!

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Have you ever thought about...

I dont know why, maybe my levels peaked lastnigh in my sleep, Maybe it was the week long venting i was able to do about shit i normal just hold-in and dwell on. Maybe it was just knowing today was Friday and with this weeks paycheck I finaly have a enough cash in the bank to pay my mortage. or it could just be a combination of all these events. but for whatever the cause. I'm in a good mood.

Ah Hah! Now people might think.. greats its about time. But here is the problem.. When i'm sad, depressed or upset. thats what is normal. I'm watchful on my gaurd and warry of people and things around me.. When I'm happy and cheerful thats when the worst shit always happen! and the shit doesnt alway happen to me.. I seriouly think i'm a focrum point of balence for the univese cause whenever i'm in a good mood bad shit happens to others around me.

Here are only a few examples

I woke up one day. happy and filled with energy smilling and thinking about how great life and and how lucky i was to be alive. I hoped in my car and went for a drive. Literay no less then 10 minutes on the road. I get pulled over and given a ticket. Ok fine... a ticket.. if thats the worst that could happen its still a great day... I take my ticket and contiue.. Now here is the shit happening part... about 2 miles down a few side streets over right were i would have been had i not been pulled over was a 5 car pile up! Great day for me... Shitty day for the people in the crash!

Today I'm in a great mood I'm at work, we have a production problem board meeting to discuss issue and a bomb is dropped. the comapnay plans on having the whole department convert over and comply to a new process stucture 6-S, Being QC this is great news for me.. stucture and order and process can only make my job easier... The rest of the floor is upset as hell, yelling out things like, Theres nothing wrong with the way we do things, and "if its not broke dont fix it"

Like i said.. it just seems the rest of the world is much happier when i suffer in my own depression! Dont worry folks I'm sure my good mood wont last long and the rest of the world can get back to being happy while i mope! LOL

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Top 5 2/23/2007

In keeping with my new blogging concept here is todays Top 5

Number 5 - My boss was out sick today

Number 4 - I have lots of work to keep myself busy and the day is flying!

Number 3 - My wife got out of work early today and his home cleaning!

Number 2 - Did I mention my boss is out sick today?

And the number one thing I'm Happy/Thankful for today is:

Number 1 - Its Friday! and i dont have to work this weekend!

Now on with the usuail depressing long winded post...

Nah! Just kidding. Im in a good mood today! I guess looking forward to the weekend does that to a guy! Now lets bring on my saterday night poker game!

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OneMans Top 5

Well here we are again. Oneman is sitting in front of his computer about to unleash another triad of button mashing!

I truly am sorry that most people don’t get why I post about the negative things... I truly aim trying to help people realize how lucky they are as compared to me. Does that mean i don’t get the idea of how lucky I am compared to someone else? Hell No! I’m one lucky son of a bitch!

Trust me I get it... I'm lucky everyday I open my eyes in the morning.. I get it!

I can walk others can’t – I get it!

I can talk others can’t – I get it!

I can sing.. Well ok… I can sing about as well as many American idols rejects – But I get it!

I'm young and besides a weight issue and some genetic issues I have to work around I’m rather in good health! Here is one to wrap aground your brains... With my genetic condition I could have very well been deformed or worst case been a hermaphrodite. But I was lucky and I did develop! I F-IN GET IT!

But the point is and in the simplest terms possible... for the entire world to read I say this...

It doesn’t matter what i type because most people suck!

Even if I did filled this blog with positive thoughts some people will still leave crap comments about how they don’t like what I posted! If I started leaving positive posts about my fabulous home, my lovely wife. My well behaved dog. People would post comments that I was bragging or leave simple annoyed statements like "yeah good for you"

I do have a great life.. You want to here about it? No! Cause the truth is nobody cares about somebody living a good life and just getting by with the normal day to day! Again I say watch the news. Is the 10'O-clock news broadcast filled with happy stories about rich people living good lives and how everyone is bright and happy... No if they did you wouldn't watch. That’s what MTV cribs is for and you know we all sit there watching that crap jealous as all hell! The news is filled with people dieing, homes getting burned. People committing crimes and more tragedy in one day then I could fill a blog with in months of typing!

LOL

This reminds me of scene I saw on TV once.... Two people were talking in a hallway, one was bitching about the problems in their own life. The other abruptly stops them and rudely asks “What makes your problems more important then anyone else’s”. Without missing a beat the first person replied. Because their mine and I’m the one who has to deal with them!

I have no intention of being a buzz kill or bringing the moral of the site down!

So I am switching gears… Today I’m officially starting OneMan’s Top 5

A daily listing of the top 5 reasons I’m lucky.

Today’s Top 5: 2/22/2007

Number 5 – I’m Alive!

Number 4 – My dog is a beautiful beast of K9 perfection

Number 3 – My Cat Loves Me

Number 2 – I got a 2.92% raise! Ok… Ok… Its better the nothing!

Number 1 – I’m smart enough to realize helpful advice when I see it!

Does this mean I’m done ranting and posting how I feel? No Not quite! But I will do my best to tone it down and not seem so whoa is me… That was never my intent I regret it came across that way!

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Comments About Fishing!

To those who think post shit like my lag blogs because im "fishing" You have no idea!

Maybe I post shit like this so that other people can see that as bad as things are for them... they can always just check my blog and they can leave smiling because they can think... well atlest im not that guy!

Fishing by my understanding of the word would mean that i ask people for somthing...

While i've been moody and bitching in my blogs. I dont recall ever asking for somthing in return. I've never been like.. my life sucks but it would be better if you send me money... I dont recall ever asking anyone on for anthing except maybe to bookmark my blog befor it is covered by the many other blogs that get left here daily. Yes my blogs are depressing and typicly have a negative view...

You watch the news dont you? When was the last time a new brodcast wasnt filled with depressing news and tragic stories???

Do I post because i seek sympathy or attention or what ever other label you feel like giving it??

No! Sir! I blog because writting it out and thinking things threw as i'm writting it help me see things more clealy and has actuly become very therepudic for me... As ask nothing of the readers so fishing i am not!

Nice try Thou!

The next blog is new aswell It may also further explain why i vent so damn much!

Having this place to vent is a possitive thing for me.. and while i do have lots of things to be thankful for. i have my reasons for being depressed and if having people read my problems helps them go home hug there wife and kiss there kids with the thoughts of.. man im lucky im not that guy... then i'm gald i posted!

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Why Is oneman is bitchy!

As i stated in a previous blog!

I have a genetic condition that was discovered at a young age. The name for that condition is:

Kallman's syndrome: Kallman's syndrome describes the occurrence of hypothalamic gonadotrophin releasing hormone deficiency and deficient olfactory sense - hyposmia or anosmia. It is usually inherited as an X-linked or autosomal recessive disorder with greater penetrance in the male. However, new mutations may arise.

Testosterone Deficiency Signs and Symptoms: Signs depend on the age of onset and the duration of hormonal deficiency. Congenital testosterone deficiency is generally characterized by underdeveloped genitalia (testes that do not descend into the scrotum) and, occasionally, undeterminable genitalia. Acquired testosterone deficiency that develops near puberty can result in enlargement of breast tissue (gynecomastia), sparse or absent pubic and body hair, and underdeveloped penis, testes, and muscle. Adult men may experience diminished libido, erectile dysfunction, muscle weakness, loss of body hair, depression, and other mood disorders.

So with that out of the way! Yeah I’m moody and depressed and I have a reason! What’s your excuse!

Ahhh Now I’m Happy! Feaken People!!!

I Love You All!

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After careful review!

After bloging earlier about my review and the 2.92% increase that was issued. I vented.

I just came back and read peoples opinions of a 2.92% raise!

I'm shocked at how many people would accept that amount as a fair increase?

I for govement contracted company, Now im not talk some small little assembly facity! Without sharing the name of my place of business, lets just say they have cornered the marked on assisting the militrya of many nations from everything from navel warfare, aircraft production and they even built half the Nasa Space shuttle!

I handle devices equipment and assemblies worth more then the value of my home!

Now lets play with some numbers. Lets assume i make somthing like 15.00 an hour...if you apply my recieved increase that changes that rate to by only 43 cents! intern it converts me from making 31200 Per Year to a wopping 32090 a year!.. For a company that sells one communication mast antenna for nealry a half a millon a peice... I'm sorry if im not impressed by what under this senario would only total a 0.43 cent raise

I also think i didnt provide enough background info... I forgot to mention that last year because of issues i had with some other co-workers and some number crunching done by the upper corprate "powers that be" last year my raise was a wopping 0.5% Thats not a typo They actualy wasted the time and paperwork to issue me a 0.5% (Half a percent) raise! after getting that slap in the face i argued to my supervior that was ridiculaous... My boss then made the claim that if i stuck it out he would try and make it up to me at my next review! I'm sorry but when its know around the company that the standard merit increase is 5.0% and a you receive 2.92% after being told "well make it up to you next year" Im sorry i can help but feel like i've been ripped off..

I dont feel im a perfect employee but i come in eveyday and i doo my job.. i trya and expand my duties and i deal with people hostle people everyday and i always keep it profesional at work.. so i would atleast have expected 4.0 or even 3.5 would have been nice... now times this by 2 years thats 7% subtract the 2.92 and the 0.5 for 7% and you get! 3.58% I truly feel I have been ripped off by 3.58% of my pay for the rest of my carreer at this facity!

I am happy i got somthing and its great i didnt walk in and walk out with a pink slip! but seriouly at my pay rate... 2.92% isnt even enough to buy a quater tank of gass for my 4cyc truck!

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Good News!

I had my review today!

I was told...

"Your doing a great job, Just keep doing your job they way youve been doing!"
"I''ve heard nothing but good news about you"
"It's nice to see you getting involded in company matters... Its great to hear you aquired the ISO9000 and AS9000 Auditor Certifications"
"Please continue to take whatever training courses and in house certificate opportinys you can... They can only help you grow within the company"

I was given my merit increase paperwork. Now after hearing all this praise you would think i was due a decent raise right?

Heh.. I was given a 2.92% increase! What The F...!

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Deprssion

I frequent another forum of gamers and during a thread over threr is was mentioned that I tend to always see negative side of things and i was told that because of the many things i seem to posses and own thet these things were a reson to be happy and the i should "Cheer Up" I wrote a rather long response to these guys and I'll share it here as well!

My Responce.....

Judging from my possession yes.. I should be in a brighter mood. But the gaming room, the 40", and the rest of my things I’ve posted about are only “things”.

I’ll admit things are nice! They can make life easier and more enjoyable at times, but lately at the end of the day I find myself sitting in my home surrounded by all my “things” and it just hits me.

Why!?! I have all this crap and I’m not happy! I feel like something is missing. Something important! A bigger reason for being... There has to be something more substantial to life, then working 40 hours a week, paying bills and wasting hours upon hours playing video games. I say to myself there has got to me more!

I look around at the world around me and I know what I’m missing, it stares me in the face everyday in the pictures around my desk. I’m bombarded with reminders everyday while overhearing the conversation of the friends, co-workers and people around me.

I see and hear news stories about people who tragically don’t appreciate what they are given and how they take for granite what should be the most important thing in their lives!

Yes. Spazz you are right. I have a lot of nice “Things” and I should be happy and grateful for the good fortune that has allowed me to live a decent and comfortable life. I’m not rich and every dollar spent is rough choice. But my bills are getting paid and I have a nice roof of my own over my head. It’s a nice life. Now you tell me. What’s the point? Who am I building a nice life for. Who am I trying to make a future for?

On No!!! Here he goes again! Spoiler Warning!!! OneMan about to rant!!!

At the age of 17 I was told i had a genetic condition. This condition caused many issues for me physically and because I was embarrassed of my self physically it also grew into a serious mental self consciousness issue that I still deal with today.

This explains the caution and avoidance of girls in my early teen years that I mention in a previous post. Along with diagnosis of this genetic issue I was told that I would more then likely not be able to have children!

Now isn’t this a slap in the face! I was 17 and being told my life was in no way ever going to be normal! I felt like why bother living what’s the point. In fact I had two failed suicide attempts! (Thanks Tim!)

Tim is the guy who body checked me across as a rail yard because I literally threw myself in front of a moving Amtrak train and he risked his own life in football style tackle to get me out of the way of the train!

Anyways back to the point... I eventually learned to live with the fact I was different and the kid issue was something I would have to deal with when I was older. Hello 17! All the sex I want with no treat of having a kid! Bingo! Oh but wait, Self consciences and fear of ridicule ruined that!! But the no kid things well like I said at 17 you don’t care or really think much about kids family and life after 21,

Years passed and per the normal progression of the adult relation ship at times things got serious. When this happened I started to feel guilty about getting serious with anyone. So I came up with a routine were I would I start explaining my condition early in the relationship so they would know in advance that being with me could mean a childless future. I was lucky and met a few who had hope and stuck with me… Lisa

Now many years have passed, I’ve lived a good life. Met a great woman and have all the wonderful things you reminded me about in your pervious post... My wife and I have now started talking about children… and this stirred up all kinds of emotional issues for me...

We had talked about my issue and she new the risks of a future with me. But we decided to try all the same. For the sake of hope and possibility of medical advance I went back to my endocrinologist and asked about my condition and my chances for natural conception. I was once again faced with frown and disappointing news and a quote that will forever make me hate my doctor! “It is highly unlikely for a person with your condition to ever have children”

What the Hell is that! Her response was practically a definitive no with leading to no hope!
I once again explained this to my wife. But my wife the shinning star she is refused to accept that answer and we started seeing other doctors! Another doctor called for me to have my “Boyz” counted. You guys ever try giving a sample in a cold hospital bathroom with no visual stimuli to help get yourself worked up… Well let me tell you its not fun or even an enjoyable experience.

I’m not a doctor and I don’t know the correlation between sperm production and the level of arousal but let’s just say there wasn’t much of a sample provided. When the sample was tested I got more bad news... Not an active “boy” in the bunch... Great more bad news!

Now add to that during all this Lisa is having issues of her own and we learn she may have a condition of her own that would hinder our child making efforts. She is diagnosed with P.C.O.S. - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. And we find she isn’t dropping eggs normally so they start her on meds for that...

Now faced with my sperm issue and Lisa’s newly discover egg issue we consider InVirto, So we go and talk with specialists. They tell Lisa that it is and option but before they are willing to help her they expect her to lose 20% of her body mass. Ok so Lisa is a large woman.. SO WHAT! Have you seen the size of some woman having kids? You know the ones that are to fat to get out of bed. Yet have no problem popping out kids a daily basis for a bigger welfare check!

Ok fine.. Lisa has a condition now to fine. We’ll deal with that and try and do as the doctors ask. Lisa starts a wait loss regiment. But wait! What the hell she’s gaining! The damn meds they have her on for PCOS has a side effect of weight gain! So her weight was going up not down!

After a few months and no progress Lisa feels these meds causing more problems then they were solving and she got off them. Off the med she was able to lose some weight but it still wasn’t enough to please the clinic and have them start our treatments.

We both agree again we found our selves dealing with shitty unhelpful doctors again! Third times the charm! Lisa recently contacted another fertility specialist group and has been placed on another type of medicine. Her last blood work shows good news! Her hormone levels are currently stabilizing. While I don’t know what all this means I hear its good news and Lisa has been happily hearing good news for the first time since we started our attempts to have a child.

The next step is for me to meet with these doctors who have been giving Lisa positive news and once again provide a sample for testing/counting. Now we have reached the root cause of my current depression. I have been hesitating because I don’t want to hear, I lack the sufficient genetic material to father my own child again! I’m really not sure how I will handle it!

In closing, I add this. Your right.. I have a lot of “things” to be happy about. But none of it means anything if I have no real purpose for continuing to live…

When a person has it in their own minds that life hasn’t started till they’ve have something to leave behind. A real reason for living, beyond the selfish acquisition of “things” Something worth loving and caring about that means more to a person then their own life!
Now image being told several times you will never feel that or live that life because you’re different! I think I have plenty to be depressed about!

I’m 33 years old. I have had all the conversation about alternate options more times then I care to mention.

So I ask now that people please hold your comments about options. I’m not saying don’t reply. I’m just saying if your response contains mention of things like, Adoption, Sperm Donner, and other alternate child acquiring methods. I’ve heard them all and as a last resort when I start pushing my 40 with no child that may be an option.

But the people who make these suggestions don’t seem to realize is that while legally and quite possibly in my heart the kid would be mind. It’s not the same as knowing “This Child is Mine and of my blood!” That means something to me! A lot more then a few meaningless things like a 40” tv.

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Friday Night

Well… Hello there!

I would like to thank you for clicking my avatar and taking a few minutes from your busy time day just to check out my blog and read whatever I thought important enough to sit and type out…

Lets be clear, This admiration, appreciation and hearty greeting I provide is not directed to everyone that will sit and read this... It has become sickeningly clear that many of the people who click threw the blogs are just randomly clicking away at blog icons hoping to find that next blog filled with a mind numbing lame video or half naked woman with her chest seductively hanging out.

I'm happy to say i think one of my previous rants on this subject has even caused one member to change their views on there own blog posted method and i'm happy to see the change thou i will miss taking the occation peek myself! LOL

To you brain melting video seekers or all you perverts who hind behind your monitors I say this... Just move on... click a few more icons to the left or right I’m sure you’ll find what your looking for. And if you didn’t like my blog pushing the truth of what you were doing in your face.. Fine go ahead and click that negative rating button. My view on love life and most everthing else is typicly taken as negative anyways so why rate them anything less. But boobs pictures and lame you tube videos will never be the norm posted in my blogs.

For the rest who are here to read the true feeling and thoughts of a fellow person. I once again thank & welcome you! I also ask you to bookmark this blog.

I only ask that you bookmark because I don’t blog on a daily basis... With the number of people blogging on this sight growing daily it doesn’t take long for the deep insightful blogs like mine get knocked off the list and hidden fast. I enjoy insightful conversation and I look forward to reading other peoples comments on what I have shared here.

So now with the pleasantries dealt with... I’ll continue with my regularly schedule blog.

It’s once again Friday night! And being a pc/console gamer that means I get play my games... The problem is choosing! Maybe you guys can help! I have a 360 with several games I enjoy, but I also have my pc with several games I like just as much! So after I get home tonight and I settle in I’ll face the following choices.

Watch Reruns on the Sci-Fi channel
Play Gears of War or any other games on my 360
Play SocomCA or other games I have for my PS2
Play Battlefield 2 /2142 or any of 30 or so PC games I have.
Dive deeper into the pit that is addiction and play “World of Warcraft!”
Say screw the gaming and go to sleep!

Well these are only my available choices... Not what I want to be doing.. What do I want to be doing you ask? I want to be taking a son to a movie or maybe bringing a daughter shopping! Or maybe just staring fondly at a child my own!

Since I have neither they are not options so I waste whatever available time I have playing mindless video games! And sadly I have even lost interest in them!

Oh and the wife... she’s working tonight so I’ll be home alone making the decision of what activity will bore me the least! Anyone want to play something with me tonight? I promise not to spread my depression! I’m only depressing when I’m typing and have time to think about things! LOL

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