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01/07/09

A roll of the dice

I was working on some other small projects today and for some reason became curious about casino events. I don’t know if your town is anything like mine, but it seems like a few times a year, usually during the winter, churchs and non-profits have “casino night” fundraisers with blackjack, horse races, roulette ect.

Why should they have all the fun right? I have an awesome place in mind that is cheap to rent, already has a bar area and high ceiling dining area that could easily accommodate a few hundred people and gambling tables.

So the hunt began.

I’ve applied for the small games of chance license before, so I am familiar with the wording – and I understand that it doesn’t cover and casino type games. So the next call was to an entertainment/event guy a few counties over. He told me that he has some of the equipment and tables and has contacts with dealers etc.

O.K….but is it legal?

His answer was that he never really had a problem. He figured that everyone just looked the other way.

Gee, thanks. So you’re holding potentially illegal events and you don’t know/care if they’re legal?

Next call: Erie County Courthouse. A nice lady named Karen (I think) gave me the skinny on the whole deal. Apparently, all these casino nights and fundraisers for injured relatives are not legal. At the same time though, the county doesn’t have the time or interest to pursue them. As long as it’s not a poker event, then they pretty much let it go. She still suggested that I apply for the small games of chance license though…..Even though IT DOESN’T COVER CASINO STYLE GAMBLING.

ME: So why get a license if what I am doing is illegal anyway and not applicable to the license.
HER: So that you’re licensed.
ME: um…what?

Next call: Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board, because what good is an event without booze? This officer was a little more adamant about obeying the law – as you would expect an officer to be. He reaffirmed that these events were illegal and that the organizer could be charged with criminal misdemeanor gambling. On the other hand he didn’t really know of any event that had been charged with this. He said that it really varied by jurisdiction.

Next Call: The local police department. The officer on the phone actually helped out at another local casino event and knew what I was getting at. They would like the courtesy of being told about the event and when and where it would be – especially if it involved alcohol. She said as long as it wasn’t a crazy drunken riot (I’m paraphrasing) that they usually try to leave it alone. It helps when it is a non-profit or a benefit. She said all this applied if it was in the borough. If it took place in the township then they would have to let the state police know and then who knows…….

Well, my perfect location is about ¼ mile outside the borough limits. Dang It! I don’t know how profitable it would be anyway. You figure that you could charge $20 a head to get in and include draft beer and finger food. With limited advertising you might get 100-150 people. Then figure on the rental costs the bartender and drink costs, the band cost (optional), the cost of the dealers etc…..

Whatever – it was a quick little research project. Another example of silly laws that are in place to enforce at someone’s discretion should they ever want to. Back to work.
 



Posted by Mandingo (0 Comments )
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01/07/09

Not So Good

What started out as a good day (see last blog), has turned into a not so good day.  I decided to go to work this morning and get a little work done on a day off.  About 10:15 my wife calls and says that my oldest has come down to her classroom complaining he wasn't feeling good.  We just got back from the doctor's office and the verdict is in.  Strep.  Oh well, it could be worse.  He doesn't act that sick.  The doctor said he should be feeling better in 2 or 3 days.  He has to stay out of school tomorrow.  Haven't talked to the wife yet so not sure if that means another day off from school from me or not.



Posted by H2Daddy (0 Comments )
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01/07/09

ROUGH TIMES & HOPE

   Some of our gamer family are going through rough times. I hope this post will bring a ray of hope to all who needs one today.

Whatever is a cruel wrong,
Whatever is unjust,
The honest years that speed along
Will trample in the dust...
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, It All Will Come Out Right.

If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.
-- Thomas Fuller.

Never deprive someone of hope... it may be all they have.
-- Unknown.

My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.
-- Anne Shirley. Anne of Green Gables. Quoting from an unknown source.

It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death.
-- Anne Frank.

God hath given each part and each power that we have.
Is it weakness to want... a crime to crave?
Has the eagle its wings not to soar in the sky?
The songster his tune not to warble on high? ...
-- Colfax Burgoyne Harman. Not to Have and to Hold.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost:
that is where they should be. Now, put foundations under them.
-- Henry David Thoreau. Walden.

Hope, deceitful as it is, serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld.

6:9 bonum autem facientes non deficiamus tempore enim suo metemus non deficientes.
-- Galatians, 6:9.

6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
-- Galatians, 6:9.

Your hopes, dreams and aspirations are legitimate. They are trying to take you airborne, above the clouds, above the storms, if you only let them.
-- William James.

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow.
-- Orison Marden.

Hope is passion for what is possible.
-- Soren Kierkegaard.

Let perseverance be your engine and hope your fuel.
-- H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Develop sincere desire for the goal. Out of fire of desire comes success.
-- Unknown.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge,
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts
That hope always triumphs over experience
That laughter is the only cure for grief
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
-- Robert Fulghum. Storyteller's Creed.

There are no hopeless situations, only people who are hopeless about them.
-- Dinah Shore, Winfried Newman.

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.
-- Pope John XXIII.

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

But the future will roll all away.
Take cheer lonely heart the deep gloom
Will break forth and effulgence of May
Smile over thy beauty and bloom.
-- Colfax Burgoyne Harman. Clouds.

Don't lose hope. When it gets darkest the stars come out.
-- Unknown.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
-- Pamela Vaull Starr.

Hoping does not mean doing nothing. It is not fatalistic resignation. It means going about our assigned tasks, confident that God will provide the meaning and the conclusion. It is not compelled to work away at keeping up appearances with a bogus spirituality. It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying. And hoping is not dreaming. It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain. It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do. It is imagination put in the harness of faith. It is a willingness to let God do it in his way and in his time. It is the opposite of making plans that we demand that God put into effect, telling him both how and when to do it.
-- Eugene Peterson.

Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.
-- Belva Davis.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.
-- Unknown.

Don't believe in miracles, rely on them!
-- Unknown.

All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope.
-- Alexandre Dumas.

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
-- Helen Keller.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
-- Unknown. (USMC?)

Hope is nature's veil for hiding truth's nakedness.
-- Alfred Nobel.

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers.
-- Robert Ingersoll.

Beware how you take away hope from any human being.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes.

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS.
-- Mahatma Gandhi.

Don't worry, the fog will lift.
-- Unknown.

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.
-- Robert H. Goddard.

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Disappointment often focuses on the failure of our own agenda rather than on God's long-term purposes for us, which may use stress and struggle as tools for strengthening our spiritual muscles.
-- Luci Shaw.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
-- Unknown.

Due to budget cuts, light at the end of tunnel will be out.
-- Unknown.

A man's reach should exceed his grasp; else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning, Andrea del Sarto.

Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
-- Unknown.

The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.
-- Norman Cousins.

Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope; and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

It is a fact of life that we find ourselves in unpleasant demoralizing situations which we can neither escape nor control. We can keep our morale and spirits high by using both "coping" and "hoping" humor. Coping humor laughs at the hopelessness in our situation. It gives us the courage to hang in there, but it does not bring hope. The uniqueness of hoping humor lies in its acceptance of life with all its dichotomies, contradictions, and incongruities. It celebrates the hope in human life. From one comes courage, from the other comes inspiration.
-- Cy Eberhart.

Hope and fear are inseparable.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld.

Beward of desperate steps. The darkest day,
Live till to-morrow, will have pass'd away.
-- Cowper.

The heart that throbbed with pain
From wounds so sorely dealt,
No longer beats in vain
Or writhes in anguish felt...
-- Colfax Burgoyne Harman. Love's Return.

Genius is only the power of making continuous efforts. The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it; so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it.
-- Elbert Hubbard.

We grow great by dreams... Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they [flourish]; bring them to the sunshine and light, which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
-- Woodrow Wilson.

Trust in dreams, for in them is the hidden gate to eternity.
-- Khalil Gibran.

Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.
-- Elie Wiesel.

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
-- Epicurus.

We must stitch up what has been torn apart, render justice imaginable in the world which is so obviously unjust, make happiness meaningful for nations poisoned by the misery of this century. Naturally, it is a superhuman task. But tasks are called superhuman when men take a long time to complete them, that is all.
-- Albert Camus.

Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them.
-- Unknown.

Hope is a waking dream.
-- Aristotle.

In your heart, keep one still secret spot where dreams may go and be sheltered so they may thrive and grow.
-- Louise Driscoll.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, that myth is more potent that history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts, that hope always triumphs over experience, that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.
-- The Crow.

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.
-- Jacques Prevert.

Whatever is the object of a saint's hope is the subject of his prayer.
-- William Gurnall.

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow by conflict.
-- William Ellery Channing.

To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime.
-- Erich Fromm.

It is with enterprises as with striking fire; we do not meet with success except with reiterated efforts, and often at the instant when we despaired of success.
-- Francoise d'Aubigne de Maintenon.

Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
-- Japanese proverb.

A cat can maintain a position of curled up somnolence on your knee until you are nearly upright. To the last minute she hopes your conscience will get the better of you and you will settle down again.
-- Pam Brown.

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles they overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose.
-- Ashley Hodgeson.

Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.
-- William S. Burroughs.

Another way in is the other way out;
Never doubt where to exit;
it is another entrance out.
-- Andrew S. Pudliner.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
-- Dale Carnegie.

Having the world's best idea will do you no good unless you act on it. People who want milk shouldn't sit on a stool in the middle of a field in hopes that a cow will back up to them.
-- Curtis Grant.

Become the change you seek in the world.
-- Mahatma Gandhi.

A Christian will part with anything rather than his hope; he knows that hope will keep the heart both from aching and breaking, from fainting and sinking; he knows that hope is a beam of God, a spark of glory, and that nothing shall extinguish it till the soul be filled with glory.
-- Thomas Brooks.

Dreams are great. When they disappear you may still be here, but you will have ceased to live.
-- Lady Nancy Astor.

Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our eyes off our goal.
-- Henry Ford.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.
-- Anne Lamott.

Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted.
-- William Hastie.

'Hope' is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tunes without the words,
And never stops at all.
-- Emily Dickinson. Hope Is The Thing With Feathers.

We have to go into the despair and go beyond it, by working and doing for somebody else, by using it for something else.
-- Elie Wiesel.

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Desires which in our beings burn,
The hopes with which our bosoms yearn,
Are destined to come true.
-- Colfax Burgoyne Harman. Optimism.

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
-- Maori Proverb.

True hope dwells on the possible, even when life seems to be a plot written by someone who wants to see how much adversity we can overcome.
-- Walter Anderson.

Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.
-- Pliny the Elder.

Every possibility exists somewhere as a shadow of the real.
-- Edward S. Corwin.

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired.
-- Eric Swensson.

When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.
-- Pauline R. Kezer.

Est autem fides credere quod nondum vides;
cuius fidei merces est videre quod credis.
[Faith is to believe what you do not see;
the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.]
-- St. Augustine.

In the long run all love is paid by love,
Though undervalued by the hosts of earth;
The great eternal Government above
Keeps strict account and will redeem its worth.
Give thy love freely; do not count the cost;
So beautiful a thing was never lost
In the long run.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, In the Long Run.

It has never been, and never will be easy work! But the road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination.
-- Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.
-- Vaclav Havel.

Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which belie the idea that things cannot be changed.
-- Tom Clancy.

We live by admiration, hope and love.
-- William Wordsworth.

When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: what a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page.
-- Eileen Caddy.

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
-- Barbara Kingsolver.

It is never too late to begin rebuilding,
Though all into ruins your life seems hurled;
For see! how the light of the New Year is gilding
The wan, worn face of the bruised old world.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, New Year Resolve.

There is no need to try to bring about anarchy; if a government is truly flawed it will destroy itself in due time.
-- Philip Musial.

One need not hope in order to undertake; nor succeed in order to persevere.
-- William the Silent.

Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.
-- Augustine of Hippo.

What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.
-- Emil Brunner.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast.
-- Alexander Pope.

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-- Walt Disney.

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
-- O. S. Marden.

If you talk to your children, you can help them to keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams.
-- Jim Rohn.

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure.
-- Abraham Cowley.

No question is ever settled
Until it is settled right...
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, An Inspiration.

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.
-- Samuel Smiles.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
-- Ayn Rand.

The brightest cloud that decks the western skies
The flatterer Hope her mimic canvas chose,
Bade pictured dreams of future bliss arise,
And stole from memory all her treasured woes.

Gay were the forms her ready pencil drew,
(Such forms she fondly thought would never fade,)
Whilst Youth enchanted threw a warmer hue
O'er the soft shadows by her hand pourtrayed.

I turned the fairy scene again to view,
With radiant Fancy's richest tints imprest;
But night's dark shade, with cold unwholesome dew,
Alone remained to chill my aching breast.

Thus Hope's fantastic visions disappear,
Her brightest prospects vanish in a Tear!
-- Janetta Philipps. Poems 1811.

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.
-- Lin Yutang.

In the dark dreary nights, when the storm is at its most fierce, the lighthouse burns bright so the sailors can find their way home again. In life the same light burns. This light is fueled with love, faith, and hope. And through lifes most fierce storms these three burn their brightest so we also can find our way home again.
-- Unknown.



Posted by revslow (0 Comments )
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01/07/09

South Dakota

Can go to hell as well.

 


For Rabb




Posted by Baine (1 Comments )
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01/07/09

MML Season 2 logo

what do you think, i need to fix the shine a little but its almost done, fyi this is a trademark of 2o2p or copyright or wtf ever lol

this was last yrs



Posted by Caesar (0 Comments )
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01/07/09

My son reminds me, it's time to secure my XBL account

My children are smart, they've known how to turn my Xbox on for themselves for a while. My daughter doesn't usually bother any more since she'd rather play games with daddy than try to do it herself but my son, at age 1, loves him some Rock Band 2 and has no qualms against trying to get his fix for himself.

Since I have my Xbox automatically sign in to my live profile and sign into windows live messenger it's starting to become a common occurrence to get kicked off line in Trillian and have to log back in. Kind of a handy way to tell if the kids are playing around with the Xbox while I'm at work. Today though my son has put me on notice that I need to lock the account or just take the MU with the profile on it to work in the morning as he managed to grab the controller, turn on my Xbox, browse to the marketplace and RENT wall-e with the last couple of hundred points on my account. Not only that but he would have had to select the SD version since my hard drive lacks the space to download the HD version of the movie at the moment.

I'm proud of my son, I really am Now I've got to figure out how I want to secure my profile. I'll probably just copy all the game saves on my MU back to the hard drive and leave the profile on the MU then pull it when I'm not home. That'll keep this from happening again.



Posted by Enosh (3 Comments )
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01/07/09

Happy Belated New Years

No serious blogging shall occur until I have seperated from Uncle.  This was sent to me from from my mother who received it from my father who in turn received it from yet another vet.  Thought it was worth sharing.

 

Guys, Thanks for being there all these years.
 

When a Veteran leaves "the job", and moves on to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased, and others, who may have already retired, wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.

1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a longing for those past times.

2. We know in the military life there is a fellowship which lasts long after the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.

 

3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with every step and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the very bearing of the man speaks of what he was and in his heart still is.

 

These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people suspiciously, still see what others do not see, or choose to ignore, and always will look at the rest of the military world with a respect for what they do.

Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life.  You are only escaping the "job", and merely being allowed to leave "active" duty.

So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.

Civilian Friends vs. Veteran Friends Comparisons:

CIVILIAN FRIENDS get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.

VETERAN FRIENDS are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having the last time you met.

---------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS have never seen you cry.


VETERAN FRIENDS have cried with you.

---------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

VETERAN FRIENDS borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back.

 

 -------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS know a few things about you.

VETERAN FRIENDS could write a book with direct quotes from you.

---------------------------------

 

CIVILIAN FRIENDS will leave you behind, if that's what the crowd is doing.

VETERAN FRIENDS will kick the crowd's ass that left you behind.

 

 ---------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Many are for a while.

VETERAN FRIENDS: Are always for life.

--------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS have shared a few experiences.

VETERAN FRIENDS have shared a lifetime of experiences no citizen could ever dream of.

--------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS may take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

VETERAN FRIENDS will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that before you spill it!" Then carry you home safely and put you to bed.

------------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.

 

VETERAN FRIENDS will knock the crap out of them, for using your name in vain.

-------------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS will ignore this.

VETERAN FRIENDS will forward this.

-------------------------------------

A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The Government of the United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life". . . and military wives are as much veterans as their spouses.

From one veteran to another, it's an honor to be in your company.

Thank you and Happy New Year, Veteran Friend !



Posted by MineMagnet506 (1 Comments )
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01/07/09

Farts

I love farts.  They make me laugh.  They make my kids laugh.  They are fun and free.  OK, so not everyone likes em, but everyone does em and if you say "not me" then you are a liar.  I know that this blog will go over about as well as a fart in church, but so what, pull my finger...I dare ya.  Game On!

Where does fart gas come from? The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

Why are beans so notorious for making people fart? Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. The most offensive sugars, known as "flatulence factors" to scientists who research farts, are raffinose, stachiose, and verbascose. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas!  Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cauliflower, cabbage, milk, bread, eggs, beer, and raisins. People unable to digest milk due to lactose intolerance will suffer extreme flatulence if they consume dairy products.

 

What makes farts stink? The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

 

Why do farts make noise? The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks.

 

Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts? Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not. Scientific studies of farts show that women's farts have a higher concentration of odor-causing gases than men's farts, but men's farts have a larger volume. The two factors equalize out (the same number of stench molecules for both), so the odor is about the same.

 

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts? Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.  Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

 

How much gas does a normal person pass per day? On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.  Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

 

How does a fart travel to the anus? One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids, and should therefore travel upwards.  The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus. Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won't get very far due to the complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying down.

 

Is it true that some people never fart? No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.

 

Do men fart more than women? No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.  I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.

 

Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end? No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.

 

Is it harmful to hold in farts? There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatus is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.

 

How long would it be possible to not fart? As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans-Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake!

 

How can one cover up a fart? There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill.  As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.  Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

 

Is it really possible to ignite farts? The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatus. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire.  Ignition of flatus is a hazardous practice. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content has exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.  Ouch!

 

Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence? Few people earn their living directly via flatulence.  A famous performer who earned his living this way was Le Petomane , who performed in France at the beginning of the 20th Century.   If you like Howard Stern then you know of Mr. Methane, who lays claim to the distinction of being the world's only performing flatulist.  However, people may also earn a living through the prevention of flatulence (as do the manufacturers and sellers of Beano and other products), through the practice of medicine specializing in the treatment of flatulence and other gastrointestinal problems, by writing books about flatulence, and through the production and sales of various fart gags such as whoopee cushions and farts in a can.

 

(this data is available on several sites)

 



Posted by PowerMacAttack (10 Comments )
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01/07/09

He Gave ME Rest

I need to share.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I wanted to take a moment to share my Saturday with you all. A little background, for those that don’t know, my wife and I have been having problems over the last year or so. In the beginning of November, she walked. Over these last months, I have struggled daily. I have done all that I can to give it over to God, but I have always had a bad habit of giving it to him, then taking it right back onto my own shoulders and trying to do it all myself, to fix it all myself. It was making physically sick for a long time. So, these last few months have been hard, trying to be a single dad of 3 little ones. Wow.
Ok, so Saturday, I am part a men’s bible study that we have every Saturday morning. I was leading the study. What God put on my heart the night before was the verses I put above. I did a lot of reading and looking and came up with the following.
What God is telling us is that we need to take our burdens, our trials, our problems, our hopes our worries and give them to him. He will take care of them. We do this through prayer, through praise, through letting go. He then tells us to take His yoke, he is telling us to do his will, it is easy, and through that we will find rest in him.
After the bible study, I went to church. We have a group of young men like myself that have been called into the ministry and service of the Lord. They go up every other Saturday and preach a sermon. Sometimes it’s only to ourselves, sometimes to a crowd. I have been meaning to make it to these, but I have not. Saturday, I went and I preached the same study.
That was twice that I gave the same message.
After that, my buddy JT asked me to help him go pick up some furniture. I went with him. We ended up over on a side of town I had not been on for years. It was where my wife and I would spend EVERY weekend out off roading. I mean every weekend. I cannot tell you how weird it was to be there. It was surreal to say the least.
So as we are heading back, I get a phone call from my wife. In short, she told me that she wanted to finish the separation, she wanted a divorce. I wont lie, I was pretty sure it was coming but it still felt like a Mack truck hitting my heart. We spoke for quite a while. It was not ugly, She was talking with me not at me.
So, there I sit in the truck. Thinking I should be destroyed, but you know what, I was OK. Right there I said a prayer out loud and told God it was his. And honestly, I meant it.
My point to all this is this. How amazing is it that the creator of all there is. God, who created everything, loves me so much that he took the time to come to me not once, but TWICE on that Saturday morning to get me ready for what was coming. He loves us that much. He is a personal God and will take the time to spend with each of us. He took me a journey that day. He showed me where I was, were I am and where I am going. He loves me that much.
He loves you that much. Give it to him, he will give you rest.
Nash

 


Posted by rockcrawler69 (1 Comments )
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01/07/09

Work Stuff

The nature of my job is such that I do get called upon to act in an Internal Affairs capacity and investigate other officers. It's not a fun part of my job but it is necessary. I've noticed that TV Shows and movies always portray the IA people as jerks and assholes but that isn't a fair portrayal. I have always believed that officers should be held to a higher standard than others. I don't like investigating them but I will do my job and be fair just like I would with anyone else.

The reports don't share a lot of insight and I wish I could give more but the whole confidentiality and getting fired thing is a hindrance. I will say that there is about 95% of the story that isn't reported that would shed a lot more light on this incident.

Official Press Release

http://www.tbi.state.tn.us/Press%20Release/Officer%20and%20Suspect%20Indicted%20for%20Chase%20Incident.pdf

News Report

http://www.jacksonsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009901070311

"A Rutherford police officer has been indicted by a Gibson County grand jury after he shot a man accused of stealing an all-terrain vehicle in September, authorities said.Quantcast

Officer William "Bill" Wetherell has been indicted on one count of aggravated assault and one count of reckless endangerment in the Sept. 6 incident, said John Mehr, special agent in charge with the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation in Jackson.

Wetherell was on duty and in pursuit of the four-wheeler driven by Josh Montgomery, of Bradford, when he tried to stop the vehicle by firing shots, Mehr said Tuesday.

One of the bullets grazed Montgomery in the back, he said.

The grand jury also indicted Montgomery on counts of theft of property, operating an unauthorized vehicle on a highway, reckless driving and evading arrest, Mehr said.

The Tennessee Highway Patrol performed a recreation of the accident before the TBI handed over the investigation to the District Attorney's Office, he said.

Mehr said, according to state law, officers must use their judgment whenever firing any shots and that usually means the officer's life or other citizens' lives have to be in immediate danger before an officer can use deadly force.

Wetherell and Rutherford city officials could not be reached for comment.

Wetherell is scheduled to appear in Gibson County Court next week."



Posted by RogueRedneck (1 Comments )
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