Tits

Not enoiugh tits. I just don't see as many of them and when i do it's a rare occurrence. i mean, at home I'd see a few every day. There were some Great ones and Blue ones and the occasional long tailed one. We even had them nesting in my garden. I built a bird box with my own two hands and it wasn't long before I got a good close up view of some tits. I was pre-pubescent at the time and it was very exciting. My first exposure to real life tits. Now though, living in this urban sprawl means I see very few of them or any other bird. I live beside a park, I have trees lining my back wall, yet there just aren't any birds, never mind tits. Such a shame. I hate cities. I love tits.

Posted by wellskelpt @ 5:05 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments

Look up a kie

When driving to work yesterday morning I saw something I had never seen before. Or so i thought. I was heading along the motorway when I noticed the strange formation in the clouds. It was bright enough start to the day but there were one or two big grey battleships of cloud easing across the sky and I noticed in one a peculiar hole. It reminded me of the eye of a hurricane, which clearly it wasn't as we don't get hurricanes plus it was not even windy that morning. Though I uppose it could have been up there. There was no through hole in the cloud, no sign of sky on the other side. it was as though a huge sticky scoop had been taken out of the underside of the cloud. At the same time there was the hint of a swirl or twist as though it had been spinning slowly in an unseen eddy. I was I could have taken a picture but I had no camera and at 120kph it would not have been a good idea to try even if I had one. I then realised that there were two other, less prominant but similar formations in the neighbouring clouds. It was a strange site. I was sure this was a first for me but there was a nagging sensation that I had seen it before. I was sure it reminded me of something. The answer cam today when I was looking at some Halo 3 images. The scene in the trailer where masterchief is looking down on the forerunner artifact. As it opens and we get a fly past we see the cloud covedr over the artifact. The spinning hurricane-esque formation. My cloud was exatly, I mean exactly like that. Okay there was no lightning, no movement of the cloud and it was less dark but other than that......well perhaps not exactly the same but the shape was identical. I'm sure there is a perfectly good and natural reason for the shapes I saw but perhaps, just maybe, up there in cloud lurked an alien vessel. Perhaps it had two smaller cohorts in the vanguard. Perhaps they were sucking up cloud moisture to cool their singularity drives or provide refreshment? Who knows.

Just keep watching the skys people. Watch the skys!

they're everywhere!!!!!

Posted by wellskelpt @ 3:49 pm EDT | Permalink | 3 Comments

icky

An interesting thing happened to me today. Well, I say interesting but really I mean uncomfortable. We've all used public toilets at some stage in our lives and in particular most will have used toilets in a work environment. I have used one many times at work, which comes as no surprise. However, today was a new experience. I'm sure most people are familiar with the warm toilet seat. The sign that someone else sat there very recently doing the same thing you are about to do. On a cold day the warm toilet seat is actually a comfort. Someone else has endured the chill and now you get to do your business in a more comfortable way. The seat warmer is normally anonymous, which is the way it should be. Not today. I sauntered into the toilet as one does. It was empty apart from one colleague. brief pleasantries were exchanged, the raised eyebrow hello that men are known to do in such situations. Not too formal, not too commital and cool enough to avoid serious contact in the confines of a male toilet. I entered one of the stalls. Now I don't have a particular avourite of the the three stalls but I do favour either end one. So I chose the nearest one on the left while my fellow co-worker began to dry his hands. (we are very civilised you see, washing hands afterwards. The ladies would be surprised how often this happens). The alarm bells started ringing when, as I was undoing my belt, I noticed the cistern was still re-filling after a fresh flush. I paused. It was then that the stench, the nausiating putridity of a stinker assulted my elfin nostrils. I swayed, ever so slightly. The full horror of the situation hit me. I knew who had done it. I had just met the man who's eau d'job I was breathing and who's buttocks had no doubt heated the seat. Ordinarily I would have continued were it not for lack of anonimity and the smell. These added components were too much. Often there is a slight hint in the air of the previous expulsion but this time I was tasting it in the back of my throat and I could not bring myself to sit and complete my business. So I waited and listened. Standing like a statue until my freind left. Then I dashed, scurried, hurried if you will, to switch to the furthest stall and away from the horror. Thankfully no-one came in as I did so. I did not need to explain my behaviour or ignore the quizzical look. I strode the few feet and closed the door behind me. This new stall was perfect. The seat was even slightly luke-warm. I could relax. I did.

Posted by wellskelpt @ 4:07 pm EDT | Permalink | 5 Comments

brrrrrr!

Ice ice baby. It seems that as soon as the calender changed to November, winter arrived. No gradual diminishing of temperatures, just turn the page on the calander and whoomph. It's winter baby. Minus three over night. I had a hard frost to scrape off the car. Every window and light needed a good scouring with the handy little green scraper I keep in the glove box for just an eventuality. Okay, it sits snugly in the car all year but it cpomes in handy eventually and after all this is northern europe so who knows what might happen in summer. Anyway, job done, windows clear, window heaters on, heating to maximum and off I go. The steering wheel is always ice cold. I must remember gloves so with fingers already numb from de-icing I spend the journey switching ands alternately over the air vent, which eventually blows glorious warm air. The great thing about these crisp winter mornings is the fantastic sunrises. Warm pinks and ruddy reds forming golden yellow sunrises are brilliant at this time of year. The sunsets too but I usually miss those with being stuck in work until it's dark. Ah, well. Can't grumble.
Now then, what games to play on these cold, dark nights when the toddler is in bed? I have Gears of War on order. it looks fantastic, but as always proof of the pudding is in the eating. I've seen many a great looking game spoiled by actual gameplay. I played the FEAR demo I downloaded from live. It too looks great. Seemed to play a little sluggish but might just have been the demo version. I did find it eerie. Those fleeting glimpses of the little giving you a slight chill. I think I will pick it up at some point. Call of Duty 3 is out very shortly and this is a definate for me. I hear people complain that there are too many WW2 shooters but not all are done as well as Call of Duty. I will definately get this. I mean come on, in all seriousness, who tires, ever, of killng nazis?
There a loads more games coming out that float my boat, whet the appetite, have me champing at the bit and any other phrase you care to mention. Especially good since there was such a derth of releases over the summer. That was a terrible period. Roll on the next few months. Now where do I get me some spare cash.................no son you can't have shoes and if your feeling hungry drink some water.

Posted by wellskelpt @ 3:00 pm EDT | Permalink | 0 Comments

balls

I just wrote a long meandering but extremely witty blog. First in a long time. I forgot to give it a title and it disappeared when I hit the submit button. What a load of nasty smelly stuff. I can't be bothered to write it out again but trust me it was the best yet. An absolute corker of a blog. I might get round to doing it again tomorrow.

I'm back, by the way.

Posted by wellskelpt @ 5:38 pm EDT | Permalink | 2 Comments