wellskelpt's Blog - 2old2play

Tits

Not enoiugh tits. I just don't see as many of them and when i do it's a rare occurrence. i mean, at home I'd see a few every day. There were some Great ones and Blue ones and the occasional long tailed one. We even had them nesting in my garden. I built a bird box with my own two hands and it wasn't long before I got a good close up view of some tits. I was pre-pubescent at the time and it was very exciting. My first exposure to real life tits. Now though, living in this urban sprawl means I see very few of them or any other bird. I live beside a park, I have trees lining my back wall, yet there just aren't any birds, never mind tits. Such a shame. I hate cities. I love tits.

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Look up a kie

When driving to work yesterday morning I saw something I had never seen before. Or so i thought. I was heading along the motorway when I noticed the strange formation in the clouds. It was bright enough start to the day but there were one or two big grey battleships of cloud easing across the sky and I noticed in one a peculiar hole. It reminded me of the eye of a hurricane, which clearly it wasn't as we don't get hurricanes plus it was not even windy that morning. Though I uppose it could have been up there. There was no through hole in the cloud, no sign of sky on the other side. it was as though a huge sticky scoop had been taken out of the underside of the cloud. At the same time there was the hint of a swirl or twist as though it had been spinning slowly in an unseen eddy. I was I could have taken a picture but I had no camera and at 120kph it would not have been a good idea to try even if I had one. I then realised that there were two other, less prominant but similar formations in the neighbouring clouds. It was a strange site. I was sure this was a first for me but there was a nagging sensation that I had seen it before. I was sure it reminded me of something. The answer cam today when I was looking at some Halo 3 images. The scene in the trailer where masterchief is looking down on the forerunner artifact. As it opens and we get a fly past we see the cloud covedr over the artifact. The spinning hurricane-esque formation. My cloud was exatly, I mean exactly like that. Okay there was no lightning, no movement of the cloud and it was less dark but other than that......well perhaps not exactly the same but the shape was identical. I'm sure there is a perfectly good and natural reason for the shapes I saw but perhaps, just maybe, up there in cloud lurked an alien vessel. Perhaps it had two smaller cohorts in the vanguard. Perhaps they were sucking up cloud moisture to cool their singularity drives or provide refreshment? Who knows.

Just keep watching the skys people. Watch the skys!

they're everywhere!!!!!

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icky

An interesting thing happened to me today. Well, I say interesting but really I mean uncomfortable. We've all used public toilets at some stage in our lives and in particular most will have used toilets in a work environment. I have used one many times at work, which comes as no surprise. However, today was a new experience. I'm sure most people are familiar with the warm toilet seat. The sign that someone else sat there very recently doing the same thing you are about to do. On a cold day the warm toilet seat is actually a comfort. Someone else has endured the chill and now you get to do your business in a more comfortable way. The seat warmer is normally anonymous, which is the way it should be. Not today. I sauntered into the toilet as one does. It was empty apart from one colleague. brief pleasantries were exchanged, the raised eyebrow hello that men are known to do in such situations. Not too formal, not too commital and cool enough to avoid serious contact in the confines of a male toilet. I entered one of the stalls. Now I don't have a particular avourite of the the three stalls but I do favour either end one. So I chose the nearest one on the left while my fellow co-worker began to dry his hands. (we are very civilised you see, washing hands afterwards. The ladies would be surprised how often this happens). The alarm bells started ringing when, as I was undoing my belt, I noticed the cistern was still re-filling after a fresh flush. I paused. It was then that the stench, the nausiating putridity of a stinker assulted my elfin nostrils. I swayed, ever so slightly. The full horror of the situation hit me. I knew who had done it. I had just met the man who's eau d'job I was breathing and who's buttocks had no doubt heated the seat. Ordinarily I would have continued were it not for lack of anonimity and the smell. These added components were too much. Often there is a slight hint in the air of the previous expulsion but this time I was tasting it in the back of my throat and I could not bring myself to sit and complete my business. So I waited and listened. Standing like a statue until my freind left. Then I dashed, scurried, hurried if you will, to switch to the furthest stall and away from the horror. Thankfully no-one came in as I did so. I did not need to explain my behaviour or ignore the quizzical look. I strode the few feet and closed the door behind me. This new stall was perfect. The seat was even slightly luke-warm. I could relax. I did.

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brrrrrr!

Ice ice baby. It seems that as soon as the calender changed to November, winter arrived. No gradual diminishing of temperatures, just turn the page on the calander and whoomph. It's winter baby. Minus three over night. I had a hard frost to scrape off the car. Every window and light needed a good scouring with the handy little green scraper I keep in the glove box for just an eventuality. Okay, it sits snugly in the car all year but it cpomes in handy eventually and after all this is northern europe so who knows what might happen in summer. Anyway, job done, windows clear, window heaters on, heating to maximum and off I go. The steering wheel is always ice cold. I must remember gloves so with fingers already numb from de-icing I spend the journey switching ands alternately over the air vent, which eventually blows glorious warm air. The great thing about these crisp winter mornings is the fantastic sunrises. Warm pinks and ruddy reds forming golden yellow sunrises are brilliant at this time of year. The sunsets too but I usually miss those with being stuck in work until it's dark. Ah, well. Can't grumble.
Now then, what games to play on these cold, dark nights when the toddler is in bed? I have Gears of War on order. it looks fantastic, but as always proof of the pudding is in the eating. I've seen many a great looking game spoiled by actual gameplay. I played the FEAR demo I downloaded from live. It too looks great. Seemed to play a little sluggish but might just have been the demo version. I did find it eerie. Those fleeting glimpses of the little giving you a slight chill. I think I will pick it up at some point. Call of Duty 3 is out very shortly and this is a definate for me. I hear people complain that there are too many WW2 shooters but not all are done as well as Call of Duty. I will definately get this. I mean come on, in all seriousness, who tires, ever, of killng nazis?
There a loads more games coming out that float my boat, whet the appetite, have me champing at the bit and any other phrase you care to mention. Especially good since there was such a derth of releases over the summer. That was a terrible period. Roll on the next few months. Now where do I get me some spare cash.................no son you can't have shoes and if your feeling hungry drink some water.

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balls

I just wrote a long meandering but extremely witty blog. First in a long time. I forgot to give it a title and it disappeared when I hit the submit button. What a load of nasty smelly stuff. I can't be bothered to write it out again but trust me it was the best yet. An absolute corker of a blog. I might get round to doing it again tomorrow.

I'm back, by the way.

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miserable dark wet days

It turns out two of my uncles have cancer - prostate and bowel respectively - and one of my aunts had a lump removed from a breast that turned out benign. Every so often life comes running up and gives you a swift kick in the nuts just to see if you're paying attention. fuck fuck fuckity fuck

I posted this then deleted it. Who wants to read the dark shit in my life? The I realised I write the blog for me not because I think people want to read something in particular. This is my journal. A snapshot of my thoughts. Some of it is directed with readers in mind but most of it is not. I guess it's my diary. I never kept a diary or a journal so this is my experiment to see if I want to continue. I've decided what goes on stays on even if I regret it later. fuck it.

sorry for the language but it doesn't happen often.

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Free Music

Lets see if this works. There should be a youtube video of my brothers band. They just released their first video.

They've been gigging for a good while and hoping to get a deal. I think some of their stuff is as good as, if not better than a lot of stuff you get in the charts. Let me know what you think so I can give him some feedback. I should point out I haven't heard this yet as my work PC has no sound.

I think there is another edit of the video to come so I'll maybe try and post that. I can't seem to get the video to show here but the url works fine.

right I've edited this for what feels like the 10th time today so now it's just the url. This better be sodding worth it. How do you embed this stuff? Arse!

Ok the 11th edit. The url had become screwed up. It looked fine but the hyperlink or wotnot was fubar somewhere. Should be fixed now, please god. Double arse to it all.

url is fixed and working.

Embedded YouTube Video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uzJji4p8r8

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Still Bloody Sick

But getting better. I'm back at work but really wish I wasn't. sniffle blurb bleugh parp. Worst cold I've had in a looong time. Might be bird flu. I eat a lot of chicken. Nah. The plus side of being unwell has been getting back on the Oblivion trail. I'm not fit for FPS, the idea of halo makes me want to vo,it in headspinning abandon but a gently paced wander through Cryodill (sp? who cares?) has been the order of the day. I haven't played it in ages but it's just the thing right now. The only bugger is that I'm a vampire. I never asked to be one. I did a few dark Brotherhood tasks, went to sleep in our hidden HQ and some bugger bit me. I woke up to find I'm a bloody vampire and can't go out in daylight. Arse. Holes. Queue the "cure vampire" quest cause I really don't see the bonus of having a touch of the Draculas fangs very much. "Fangs very much"? Dear god I am sick. So now I need to find a bunch of grand soul gems. Where the funk are these then? I've been all over a lot of the map and can't remember finding these blighters. I tried pick pocketing a mage in the guild to see if they had any and got caught and kicked out. they do have them on their persons though but since I'm in the guild I can't nick em (they're bloody hard to kill, all at once, in the guild house. Don't try it). So I've gone back to the Imperial City to see if any of the shops have em or if theres any kicking about the Uni, not that I can get into the Arcane Uni yet but god loves a tryer. I really need to dump the vampirism. All this running about at night means that in daylight, real daylight, I can't see anything on the damn screen since the game room isn't dark enough. Problems Problems, phlegm, snot and problems.

Maybe I'll get another game to cheer me up. Dead Rising is out now as is Lego Star Wars. I like the idea of Lego Star Wars but maybe it'll be too timmy-ish for a manchild of my maturity. the save system and case timing of Dead Rising was putting me off but the more I read about the more I could probably live with it for the replay value but would hacking zombies get a bit repetative? I know different weapons can add some humour and longevity but at the end of the day would I not just get bored hacking and slaching and pulling heads and wearing dresses (in the game)? I don't know. I can't hear very well either. Clogged sinus I suppose. Is it "sinuses" or "sinai" or is it even plural? I think it's one cavity. I could just say blocked tubes and be done with it but when do you get the opportunity to write the word "sinus"? Or "homogenous"? Or "scrotum"? or even xylophone?

I'm rambling deleriously again.....oh there's another good word I don't get to write often...."delerious", oh yes and "delicious"

I take absolutely no responsibility for poor spelling punctuation and grammar cause I realy do not care right now and I've got to go blow my nose.

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Sick as a

Very sick thing. I'm off work today. I am choked up with a heavy cold and my throat feels like I'm swallowing razor blades. Can't really order my thoughts. I wanted to write a wee bit on the Edinburgh Military Tatoo since I caught a bit of the coverage the other day on TV. I can just about manage to type this but it's taking ages because I have to keep correcting my bad spelling. My brain doesn't work today. I think that's it. Spare a sympathetic thought for poor old me.

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Lithuania PWNED!

Oh what a night. I've a smile as wide as the Clyde. Scotland 2 Lithuania 1.First time in two and a half years that we won two competitive games back to back. What a game it was. The field (for I hesitate to call it a park given the state it was in) appeared to have been recently ploughed over and a few remnant potatoes were kicking about so silky samba soccer was not likely to be the order of the day. The Lithy boys probably had the best of the first half which is fine as they were the home team. We had our chances but we came out in the second half with all guns blazing and quickly went two up. The Lithuanians scored with 10 minutes to go. One of those goals you could do nothing about. An overhead bicycle kick that 9 times out of 10 end up in row Z of the stadium but this was that one time it works and nearly burst our net. We played much better in the second half and really out played them. We're not Brazil but right now I'd put money in us beating Brazil!
Next up is France at home in Glasgow. The city will be mad, the stadium will be jumping, the atmosphere will be electric. Lets see how the French handle 60 thousand Scots looneys giving it loads! I have no fear of the French or the Italians.
happy days are here again. It means so much to me and to the country for the team to do well.
Lets get pished in celebration

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A Lithuanian Kick in the Blogs

At least I hope I won't need this blog title tomorrow. Tonight Scotland play away to Lithuania in the second qualifying game of the European Championship. We got off to a great start with the hammering of the Faeroe Islands but as bad as they are and as good as we were tonight will be a tougher game. the lithuanians drew with Italy on the italians home soil after all. We really need maximum points from our opening games from possibly the weakest teams in our group. We have France and Italy to contend with later, the World cup finalists and we also have the Ukraine and Georgia. I don't know how much more difficult our group could have been. Only the top two in the group qualify for the final stages. As the day starts I am confident, mostly, that we will win the game. I think for the first time in a decade we can say that we have the player quality to win. Not since the 70's have we had a world class team and even in the 80's we had a strong team but the 90's have been dire. We don't yet have the great team we need but we're going inthe right direction. One bad result though could wreck all the progress. We're a small nation with a big heart that needs it's football team back with the big boys. I'm getting nervous now writing this. I might just double post today with how I'm feeling later this afternoon. Game coverage starts at 5pm Dublin time. Have a wiki and check the links if you are so inclined, join the party.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartan_Army

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Ah the Memories

I was reeading an article today on how a primary School head teacher is in court on 10 charges of assault. She physically abused a number of children over a period of time through various levels of violence and humiliation. These people are scum of the lowest order. http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/scotland.cfm?id=1308602006

I remembered a moment from my own time in primary school. I was a good boy. Never in trouble. There was one time when we had a temporary teacher that sticks in the mind. We always got free milk each day in a carton, which we drank through a straw. I remember throwing my finished carton in the bin but someone threw a half finished carton in at the same time. I forget the specifics of how it was spotted but the teacher picked out the half finished one and ordered me to finish it, since she said I threw it away. This particular carton had a straw so chewed tht you'd be hard pushed to suck air through it. I never chewed my straw, I never chew pencils or pen tops, it's one of the things that makes my skin crawl. It was clear that someone had been chewing lovingly on this straw, leaving saliva and so forth and now I was being ordered to put this in my mouth and drink. I remember the screaming and the shouting and the roaring from the teacher, her refusal to let it drop, my repeated denials and pleading and tears. I was five at the time. I was left with no option to drink. I'm almost gagging at the thought.

For these teachers it's not abut instilling discipline in rebellious children, it's not about keeping wayward kids in check, it's not about teaching respect of authority its simply an abuse of their position and a way to vent their frustrations of life onto defensless children. They are scum. I would happily seek equiviant retribution on these old bastards. Thankfully there are few of them.

It's amazing how memory is not just images but emotions too. One small memory triggered and a whole event comes flooding back. I think I'll go for lunch now and cool down.

Edited to remove some bad language. There's just no need for it.

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Limbo shuffling, not dancing

I feel that I'm slightly in limbo at the moment. It think it might just be fatigue but I'm not sure. I'm also a little under the weather but the doctor told me this morning that there's no chest infection so just one of those cold/cough things that lingers around. My poor wee boy has the same thought the bugger gave it to me. It's not always nice to share. Anyhoo, I'll be starting a new job in October so at the moment I'm working my notice in my current role. I don't have any motivation but I'm trying to remain professional and keep on top of things. It's difficult though since I lost interest a while ago, before I even had a new job. I may talk more about this once I leave but right now would not be appropriate. I find also that I've no inclination for gaming either. I didn't have an opportunity last week but I got a short window on Saturday. I turned on the 360, saw there were a few friends on line but just couldn't face a game of Halo2 or even call of Duty2. I downloaded a couple of demos recently released, played them, had a game or two of Texas Holdem, then just switched it off. I haven't even been able to read anything either. Reading has always been something I loved doing. More so than gaming to some extent. I find reading a good novel takes me to another word far more than gaming. I can become immerssed in a book adn empathise with the characters far more than a good game. gaming remains remote. When I read a book it's like watching a film in my head. I have a good imagination so if the book is well written than I can relly lose myself in it and become eager to read at every opportunity. I recently finished Ken McCloud's Newtons Wake. I couldn't get into it. It wasn't bad but I just couldn't read more than little bits at a time. I have Dan Simmons Hyperian Omnibus sitting ready to go but I haven't been able to even open the cover. The latest instalment of Kevin Anderson's Saga of the Seven Suns is out now too so I need to pick that up at some stage but I've a dozen or so books waiting on my shelf to read. My taste is mainly for Sci-Fi. I've tried crime and thrillers and they are fine but sci-fi does it for me. I want to be taken to another world, another time, another universe so i don't want ot read something set in the current world that could in fact be true and pausible (although good sci-fi needs an element of plausibility too). I have also been reading alot of ancient historical fiction set in Rome or Greece. I read the Iliad, though it's debatable as to whether this is fiction or based on fact, I have the Odessy to read. I also have some stuff by plato to read (stuff! ha, such respect for some of the finest literature known to man). I also read the Alexander trilogy by Valarie massimo Manfredi (sp?), that was a great story and based on an incredible true period in history. I am also know to read poetry, autobiography, Politics, travel writing and others so quite an eclectic mix. I miss reading. I miss gaming. I miss a lack of fuzziness in my brain. I need a fuzz free heid.

I haven't even writen anything in ages either, which is another story. Or at least it would be if I actually got around to it.

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6-0

Sorry but it has to be recognised.

We won 6-0 today. We haven't won like that in over 30 years. Let it be known. Shout it from the roof tops. We played the first half better than I can almost remember in my lifetime. I am completely stone cold sober yet feel that I must be pished to see a score like that. Woo and indeed hoo!

we're comin, we're comin, we're comin down the road. When you here the noise of the tartan army boys we'll be comin down the road........sing along with gusto

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Day 6 and 7

I have come to realise that I'm not much of a diarist. More talented diarists may have been able to write more interestingly and eloquntly about my week as a single parentn. Perhaps they could have touched on the changes encountered, the greater need for rythmn and planning in each day and even spoken of the greater bonding between son and father. This would have led to the description of how Cameron seems more of a little person than a baby and that I can clearly see his personality. Unfortunately I wasn't that good. Friday was an interesting day for me since I was really under the weather but had to go to work. The day couldn't end quickly enough but when it did and the sun was shining I collected my child and went on our daily amble around parks in our area. He ate heartily on returning to the house and then pottered about on his play mat for an hour. I should probably have interacted with him a bit more at this stage, pointing out that the green thing in his hand was in fact a green "square" with the number "three" on it and it goes in that particular slot of the big thing which is called a "house" and you retrieve the green thing through the other thing called "door". That sort of thing. I just left him too it since I was rather tired. Bad Daddy. Bad. I roused myself enough to bathe him, after all we needed a clean baby to greet Mum.

Mum returned from deepest darkest India safely although encountered a number of delays, not least at London Heathrow airpport. She was simply transferring from terminal to terminal but of course it is not a simple thing these days what with all the security checks. So what used to take 20 minutes took an hour and a half. She mentioned to me that there were a number of American tourists in the queue in front of her that grumbled constantly about the time it was taking and questioning the need for all the security etc etc but she was too tired to remind them of certain events that necessitated all this "inconvenience". How easily some people choose to forget when it's not convenient for them. Eventually I was able to collect my wife from Dublin airport and head home in the rain and heavy traffic. My wife didn't mind. At least she was not being constantly stared at by a thousand or so people in the street, every street, which was a nice change. Before meeting my wife, as I stood with the herd in the arrivals area, I bumped into some friends who were returning from Liberia for a short break at home so it was good to say hello and we will meet next week for a catch up. So the family unit is together again and all is well with the world. My diary of the week is at an end and whether it has any worth is debatable. I remember having great intentions of keeping a diary of the time I was in Sudan but I didn't have the energy to write doen my thoughts each day so this is the one and only journal I have kept in my entire young, handsome life. Chalk it off to experience and try again. It can only get better.

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